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dickwrigley.lol
Proud veteran of the War on Christmas.
472 posts 43 followers 47 following
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I'm sick of this try-hard shit. Frogs need to walk normal.

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

Windows are like TVs for cats. "Coming this fall on The Window Network: Fall. Season premier Sept. 22 only on TWN - Television For Cats."

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

ADHD is sitting in the pickup spot for 20 minutes before realizing you never finished checking out in the app.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

THEM: how’s it going digging that hole for a water supply ME: well

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

Sometimes I just have to tell myself, "No, those dumb things you think of and put on the internet are just as dumb as all the other dumb things you smirk at. These people just don't appreciate how dumb you are, but eventually they will, and you'll get all the reskeets you deserve."

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

If you're going to use ChatGPT, you need to think of it as a guy you don't know at the end of the bar. He might be a plumber and know exactly how to fix your leaky toilet. He might be a drunk idiot talking out of his ass. Both will sound pretty confident.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

They're called throw pillows because they're easier to throw during a pillow fight.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Me, put on the spot in Catholic school: Um... Peter, Paul, Matthew, Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I can remember most of the times I've been in a cop car.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Modern slang had me waiting for a dirty punchline.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Upsetting my family by asking if they want ‘bread lube’ on their sandwiches.

submitted 701 days ago • 8 comments

I resent that the boomer social media app killed Craigslist so now I have to choose between keeping it on my phone or paying full price for a waffle maker I'll only use twice.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Check out this bitchin' jacket I bought with my Marlboro miles.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

If you're ever struggling with a difficult situation in life, just remember that somewhere out there is someone who's been tasked by their boss to figure out how to appropriately cast a Michael Jackson biopic.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Me giving my cat his medicine every night.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I wish there wasn't such a massive divide between the level of filth I'm willing to live in and the level of filth I'm willing to let people see me live in.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

When I was a kid, I secretly rooted for Gargamel to catch and eat the Smurfs. I think I wanted to eat them too. I felt wrong and bad and never told anyone.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Therapist: Why do you think you keep staying up so late? Me: Because if I go to sleep, tomorrow will start, and I'll have to face responsibility. I need to remind myself that my responsibilities are actually a privilege. Therapist: I don't know why you insist on paying me.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

him: nice dress me: thanks, i was buried in it

submitted 14 days ago • 10 comments