jiminyspigot.bsky.social
AS SEEN ON THE INTERNET!!!
Whirled famous, editorially codependent writer of silly things. Too normal for the weirdos; too weird for the normies. STL based for better or worse. He/him.
(jiminyspigot just about everywhere)
8,950 posts
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Basically.
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Chicks are born with small claws on their wings which they can use to climb back up to their nest if they fall. This feels like cheating, but they need the help, since they suck at flying.
Rating: 4/10 for not knowing how to bird
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Part of the reason why is because, unlike any other bird, it eats leaves and digests them in a manner similar to ungulates like cows and goats. It’s also reported to smell (and taste) very bad, and that certainly isn’t helping its social standing.
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The run around eating small bugs and hanging out in urban areas.
When they reproduce, females lay only one or two eggs, which are hidden until they hatch. Once the babies hatch, they are independent. As a parent, this makes me incredibly jealous.
Rating: 8/10 for proving size isn’t everything
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This gecko only grows to a length of about 4cm, or 1.5in. That’s small enough to fit inside a sedan! Probably other, much smaller things, too.
They are from the South Eastern region of Africa, and though they could be like little Joe Pescis, they are chill.
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See, I thought you were joking because you said it flew over your head, so I didn't take you seriously, lol.
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And here I was, thinking you were unflappable.
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Rating 10/10 because it scares me
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They are also the only bird known to color itself, turning its feathers red by bathing in water rich with iron oxide. This is likely so they can claim to be well red. (pause for laughter)
They are also the inspiration behind the hit 1999 film “The Bone Collector.” At least I assume. Never saw it.
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So if you live anywhere from Eastern Europe to China and Africa and your nine foot tall Home Depot skeleton disappears, you know who to blame.
It is the only animal known to subsist primarily on bones, and can do so because its stomach acid can dissolve bone matter within 24 hours.
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Don't forget geeks, too.
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They can give a bit of a pinch, but they're friends. They eat lots of pest insects.
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I love most Bakshi films, but this is by far my favorite, and has been since my dad showed it to me in middle school, lol.
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Came here to post this.
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I’m taking the high road and not making a Lorena Bobbit joke. The Low Brow Humor Club will just be short a member.
8/10 for speccing into the right stats
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They bite hard enough to snap fish in half, are covered in stinging bristles, and can regenerate from nearly any injury. This is why it is sometimes referred to as John Carpenter’s The Worm!
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Lacking the strength to break into termite colonies, they have to wait for them to leave before eating them. They have unusually good eye sight for marsupials, but that just means they should be able to see how ridiculous they are.
4/10 for being a poser
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Despite this, it is unique in that it has no pouch to rear its young, which kinda seems like the most important requisite for being a marsupial.
They are active during the day, when they forage for termites. Except they’re not even good at that. (2/3)