loverocketz.bsky.social
ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ — ʀɪᴄʜʟʏ ᴇɴᴅᴏᴡᴇᴅ 🐍
deer | 30 | they | meatfag 🥩 |
🔞MDNI, NSFW ALT ACCT🔞
main is @feraldeer.bsky.social
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ik hr is not to be trusted but i need to be put on emergency leave or something or i will probably end up in the hospital so
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ive exhausted all the instant time off options i have so i can't just like. use this time without manager approval
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lately they haven't been offering time at all which sucks because i could really use it rn tbh
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risk it all for love
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chris is about to lose his job 👀
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like i used to have some semblance of control but now i don't
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it's just hard to force yourself to eat on Starve days when you suddenly only want like 4 different foods
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but now those walls are down and it's just mixing into something really nasty
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bc i used to just ignore the nausea and sensory issues bc that was how i was conditioned to approach food
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and then i think what triggered full blown arfid was just me kind of losing my drive to force myself to eat no matter how i felt about the food???
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it's like something has gone off in my brain to make me jealously guard this weight loss like a dragon hoarding gold
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like it directly coincides with me realizing i have full blown arfid and that does NOT play nice with the binge-starve and in fact is i think turning it into Starve
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i think it's bc my self esteem is tied to the number
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please i need to read this
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like i can feel my throat closing up
my stomach is churning. i physically cannot make myself eat this.
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idk why i make this exception for myself but it might be bc my mom used to comment on my weight and fuss over the idea of me getting fat???
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i am still struggling with this tbh like just bc i have noticed the issue doesn't mean it's gone
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but also grateful to them for not yelling at me
bc ig it was probably obvious i have a disorder jfkancjdb
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If you have to go in, you have to go in. What can you do on a day of little sleep?
Plenty of water. Stretch. Caffeine (pace yourself so you don't crash).
You'll be uncomfortable and stressed, but you can do it.
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expect the worst outcome
plan accordingly
you're in survival mode right now and it's ironically killing you