mwaltz-signal.bsky.social
I work for important people doing United Nations stuff.
I don’t follow journalists.
I’m a parody of myself.
56 posts
50 followers
29 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter
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Pete made me do it.
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I assume you’re speaking of my outstanding service as National Security Advisor - it’s been unlike anything in the history of the world! Thank you.
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No no no. There’s been a horrible misunderstanding.
We used Signal to order Chinese and Ukrainian food! Gaza is the name of my tax accountant! He’s really good! George Gaza down in Florida; I’ll give you his number. He has a lovely wife named Hamas. Nothing to do with the Middle East!
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What have I ever done to you?You’re making me sad! 😢
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This is fake news! My emails are all legit and secure. Gmail stands for “Government mail” and is completely secure for use at the highest levels.
I was informed of this in an official email I received from [email protected].
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This is fake news! My emails are all legit and secure. Gmail stands for “Government mail” and is completely secure for use at the highest levels.
I was informed of this in an official email I received from [email protected].
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This is fake news! My emails are all legit and secure. Gmail stands for “Government mail” and is completely secure for use at the highest levels.
I was informed of this in an official email I received from [email protected].
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This is a nothing burger folks. My emails are all legit and secure. Gmail stands for “Government mail” and is completely secure for use at the highest levels.
I was informed of this in an official email I received from [email protected].
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This is a nothing burger folks. My emails are all legit and secure. GMAIL stands for “government mail” and is completely secure for use at the highest levels.
That’s what I was told in an official email I received from [email protected].
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Hey I didn’t forget you! I have your number. Which chat do you want me to add you to?
- Greenland PC ballers
- CIA DOGE cuts
- White House Taco Tuesday reviews
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Oh ha ha very funny. I’m still here.
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HA HA happy April Fools’ Day suckers!
I ain’t going anywhere.
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Yeah but I didn’t let the guy from The Atlantic join those chats!
(A guy from Rolling Stone got on one and my high school girlfriend got on another, but it’s all good since the Russians already know what we’re doing about Ukraine anyway, so those chats aren’t even classified! Phew!)
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Announcement: I have been invited to speak at the White House Correspondents Association dinner and will be speaking on changes in White House official communications under President Trump. I’ll be setting up a Signal group and will text my remarks; LMK if you want to be added.
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If you haven’t taken the red pill, you wouldn’t understand! We are in the Matrix! The Deep State is controlling us an it forced me to add Goldberg’s number!!
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He made a contribution to my campaign when I was in Congress. A BIG contribution.
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Yes! Thank you!
Who is Julian Assange? I want to thank him personally.
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How did they get my text messages? ☹️🙏👊💪
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Yaaayyyy!
Well, Hegseth can go. But not me!
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No I was supposed to be there! I’m the well informed and competent one! It was that nasty journalist who played a Jedi mind trick on me and made me let him in!
Now I have to go, there’s a Greenland attack plan meeting on TikTok.
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Yeah and I texted about it on my new Signal channel: “Houthi PC supersized group anyone can join”
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👍 I think the guy’s a douche anyway.
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I had my library card repossessed this week. But I never used it anyway.
So no consequences for me!
Other than that a lot of people now think I’m an idiot.
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I’m GOAT?! So nice of you to say!
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I’m relieved that my careless little boo-boo on Signal will be overshadowed by the purposeful, unthinkable, and irredeemable decision by the AG to not investigate. Everyone go beat on her now and leave me alone! Thx
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Not to worry. I’ve reset all my passwords to “newpassword.”
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But he tricked me! It’s so unfair!
😩
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I’m more like a maximum, dude.
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Please no, I have fantasy league basketball wagers to pay off.
(Fantasy baseball is starting up - DM me bid you want to be in my league. So far I only have Hegseth and Miller, and Miller just doesn’t get it.)
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I lied to my dentist when I said I flossed regularly, even though that information is classified.
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But Laura, we’ve meant so much to each other. 😭
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There is one other group - PC Houthi big group.
It’s supposed to be for politically correct Houthis, but I can add you if you’d like.
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I got into trouble discussing the Houthi PC Small Group.
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No no no
They were just dinner plans!
We were talking about Houthi cuisine and where we could find some!
I swear!
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Give me a break.
I THOUGHT I WAS ADDING JEFF GOLDBLUM