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saltymactavish.bsky.social
I made you a mix tape https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaalp2rwdye36 Here’s our wicked cool Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KitchenTableWorks
12,027 posts 21,640 followers 9,927 following
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Posts 31 Comments 19

In a world full of Stephen Millers, be a Terry Moran.

submitted 13 hours ago • 188 comments

Man I just want shit to return to normal levels of stupid so I can return to ignoring my responsibilities and skeeting full-time about bearded clams

submitted 17 hours ago • 6 comments

ever hear the news and think "nothing's shocking," then think of naked conjoined twins with their heads on fire instead?

submitted 3 days ago • 39 comments

Keep opening this app to say something, then I read for a minute and think, "Well, I believe they've said it all," then I close the app. You can do this too!

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

each of my arms are the exact same strength and both of them have signed a treaty to always keep it that way

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

i’m like if oatmeal was a person

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

I'll be at the mothman statue in point pleasant west virginia in one hour if you want a shot at the champ

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

Eating THC infused beef jerky and claiming to be a herbivore.

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

At least once a day I'm like "how will I break it to my followers that I'm out of jokes"

submitted 1 day ago • 10 comments

Wot I did today by Dudley 🐾

submitted 1 day ago • 16 comments

"It's so easy to laugh it's so easy to hate, it takes glutes to be gentle and kind." -The Smiths, personal trainer

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

imagine being mad a me and I over here just bloopity bloop

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

She's a 10. Fahrenheit. It may not be a sensible unit of measurement, but who cares? She will freeze your nuts off if you try.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

I don’t know what all the funny looks are about; you’d think my neighbors would be glad I’m finally getting around to painting my lawn

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

if you love that puppet on strings so much why don’t you marionette it

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

I'm just glad our private parts don't get calluses.

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

TONIGHT IS LOVEY'S FIRST SLEEPOVER AT NANA'S AND WE JUST HAD A TINY TWO-WOMAN RAAAAVE

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

It's okay to press all the buttons, it's okay to pull all the levers. It's even okay to DJ scratch flick a switch. It's what you think is gonna happen next that matters. "I am the one in controls of my destiny mayday mayday I picked the one thing connected to predetermination I'm goin down fate"

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

“There has to be some explanation” he insisted inexplicably.

submitted 19 hours ago • 0 comments

I refuse to trust people who smile before 8am.

submitted 18 hours ago • 6 comments

Waking up, turning to the cat and saying "Status Report"

submitted 18 hours ago • 24 comments

My wife wrote that I don’t respect her privacy. I’m never reading her secret diary again, it’s too hurtful

submitted 19 hours ago • 3 comments

having a whole life where I mean to say something relatable but instead I say something that warrants a wellness check

submitted 1 day ago • 19 comments

Hey ICE: Your tiddies are whack and y'alls asses flat

submitted 21 hours ago • 1 comment

At the ICE raid and subsequent community resistance in Paramount, California this morning, this skater kid ate dozens of munitions from Border Patrol agents, walked away slowly and flipped them off.

submitted 1 day ago • 1140 comments

I never believed in Bigfoot until last year, when I was up in the mountains walking amongst the pines, and decided to believe in Bigfoot

submitted 25 days ago • 9 comments

I strap a harmonica to my mouth when I go jogging so I can watch everyone panic as they hear me coming round corners.

submitted 126 days ago • 5 comments

Not to sound like Mister Rogers but I’m grateful for people who hear about someone struggling and help in all the ways they are able. It’s not transactional – it’s just what cool people do. In today’s America, that’s an act of rebellion and we fucken love you.

submitted 19 hours ago • 2 comments

“Called shotgun for a rented limo. I fucked up.” -Mitch Hedberg

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

i’m so fucking proud of LA for standing up to ICE.

submitted 1 day ago • 8 comments

🚨 @saltymactavish.bsky.social 🚨 I MADE THE SAUCE FOR THE BABY AND SHE'S GOIN' HOOPY OVER IT

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment