This might be a bit of an idealist, hippie parent thing, but I sincerely do not need to know where my teenager is at all times. My own teenage self had a fair amount of autonomy, independence, and trust, and it was healthy for me.
Also parenting from that place (my kid: "Mom, you're a hippie who likes bath products") -- I believe in the saying "competence breeds confidence" & I want my kid to have confidence in her own capabilities, so that starts by letting her develop an intrinsic sense of competence.
I know it feels like such a trivial example, but my oldest and I often reference the time he wanted another fast food taco (he was about four?). I said, "No problem!" and handed him two dollars. He looked at me unsure, and I told him that he could do it. It was a small moment of that competence.
I grew up in a southern Baptist neighborhood; the kids with the strictest parents were the biggest sneaks.
Am trying to parent w/a "trust is reputational, reputation is built on actions, your choices determine your actions" approach. I want this kid to feel an internal locus of control/competence.
Thank you! Occasionally an acquaintance will post a "What software do you use to track your kid's phone?" question and I cringe so hard. And often surveillance is too late to remedy whatever behavior the person is concerned about, and they are missing the parenting forest for the technology trees.
our kids are horrified by how widespread & normalized this is among their peers. tbf, they had the benefit of learning about it direct from @hypervisible.bsky.social - if it had just been us, it might not have registered. Chris, thx for radicalizing them <3
My kids are now almost completely anti-surveillance (except the eldest likes to know where we are and is still mad her dad no longer shares his location with her lol)
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Am trying to parent w/a "trust is reputational, reputation is built on actions, your choices determine your actions" approach. I want this kid to feel an internal locus of control/competence.
our kids are horrified by how widespread & normalized this is among their peers. tbf, they had the benefit of learning about it direct from @hypervisible.bsky.social - if it had just been us, it might not have registered. Chris, thx for radicalizing them <3