Also, this doesn't mean ADHDers don't need help in a crisis, but at least in my case I start aggressively researching solutions to any crisis-level problem and leaving no stone unturned.
Is THAT the reason that I was so goddamn good at food service, and specifically when it got ABSURDLY busy? I was calm as a cucumber, and ready for the marathon.
But during the slow times, I'd be kicking dust bunnies.
me too. I loved waiting tables because I was so fucking good at it. Especially when I worked in a busy diner in a college town, partly because then I also got to throw in a little snark and that’s my first language.
In high school, I noticed I could never force myself to do tedious assignments early, but the burst of creative energy I got the night before or the morning it was due let me pull it off, and that was still my standard strategy until I started taking Wellbutrin for my ADHD about a year ago!
This hasn’t happened in several years, but I used to get so nervous while being given instructions for the first time that I’d feel like I was dreaming and could barely understand English.
But when a friend’s boat got stuck in alligator-filled waters, I was somehow ready to help.
Hey, I never realized my burden was shared until incredibly recently - I figured I was just a neurotic mess. Learning I am AuDHD meant realizing I wasn’t alone, and hearing other people speak about their reactions to things which are so close to how I felt at them has been such a relief.
I suspect that part of the autism is a tendency towards being self-focused. I've described the sensory overload and other symptoms as being mugged or held hostage by my own brain. But it also manifests in a persistent belief that I am the only one with the issues I have.
Add in an anxiety disorder and a pinch of liberal guilt from being an cishet white man, and a basically created a variant of Catholic guilt, despite being raised Protestant.
It’s fun not knowing which one will
Happen. Unprepared or superhero. Depends on the moment for me. Audhd. I can maneuver the subway and make the train perfectly or we
Can end up all going the exactly wrong way for about 4 stops before I realize it.
Oddly enough, I feel like Billy Joel’s “Pressure” better captures my emotions when dealing with my procrastination, but I prefer “Under Pressure” as a song.
Most people who struggle with it are able to do whatever they have to in a crisis even though they can't do seemingly simple things on a regular basis. Something clicks in the brain when the stakes are high and some terrible thing will happen if they can't pull through.
dark side to this is i don't trust myself to do much at all without urgency, so i get really lost in the stories of urgency i create. i end up extremely anxious and exhausted bc i feel like ive been saving the world all week when in reality ive just been cleaning my home and working and exercising
actually this explains why even when i manage sensory needs lately, i am so so tense. ive been convincing my brain everything i want to accomplish is a high-stakes necessity, so that i actually do it. im so tired.
i don't want to feel like the world will end if i don't clean my home before my guests arrive but idk how else to make myself do it 😭 telling myself stories like that are resulting in meltdowns when i feel can't do it perfectly. i have to find a better way to spur myself into action!
sorry for the novel, thank you for posting this bc it is really helping me pin down exactly what has been wearing me so thin. thank you for existing and talking about these things it is truly so appreciated 💖
Anecdote: When we married, my wife (ADHD) could barely drive. She would get flustered, forget which pedal was brake and which was gas, and get turned around in her head so she didn't know where she was or where she was going.
One morning shortly after we were married I woke up with chest pain,
Difficulty breathing, and numbness in my left arm.
She had me in the car in two minutes, drove us to the hospital without once making a single mistake, and was completely calm from when we woke up to when they were joking me up to the EKG.
Comments
It is eye opening
This is why my credit score has gone up by almost 100 points in the last few months
Lol well
🤷♂️
But during the slow times, I'd be kicking dust bunnies.
Kinda makes sense now.
But when a friend’s boat got stuck in alligator-filled waters, I was somehow ready to help.
I've heard it described as putting yourself in a Saw trap, and speaking from experience, that's the best way to describe what it's like.
Happen. Unprepared or superhero. Depends on the moment for me. Audhd. I can maneuver the subway and make the train perfectly or we
Can end up all going the exactly wrong way for about 4 stops before I realize it.
ADHD diagnosed
My first thought upon reading was to this song.
So of course, impulsively posted it immediately :-)
Having said that, as mum of small child at the time, I couldn’t have managed without Mr M doing majority housework & child care.
I was unaware of ND then & did sometimes seek extensions for ‘child sickness’!😉
I'm pondering whether or how I might do this without realising.
Stuffing this in my pocket for later.
#audhd
One morning shortly after we were married I woke up with chest pain,
She had me in the car in two minutes, drove us to the hospital without once making a single mistake, and was completely calm from when we woke up to when they were joking me up to the EKG.
You're spot on.
I go more on feel and instinct and flow, which is a different part of the brain.
Like training a conscious thing into unconscious. When I try consciously, it's a while different brain circuit again.
#audhd