Thinking way too deep about it. If you're dating a trans woman you're dating a woman. If you're worried about what the person was born as or what chromosomes they have or w/e. You've lost the plot.
Like if the couple wants to call themselves queer or gay, they are totally under the LBGT+ umbrella to do so but to force someone into pansexuality because you don’t see trans people as their true gender is soooo telling wtf 😭😭😭
I’m pan, but if I was dating a trans woman then I’d be in a lesbian relationship and if I was dating a trans man it would be a straight one. I despair at some supposed fellow allies. They’ll go part the way but not the full way.
You’re not an ally if you don’t think a trans woman is a woman and a trans man is a man. If you’re still thinking of them as trans women and trans men, as something different to cisgendered people, then you’re not an ally.
As I learn more about myself, I've become very aware of others as well. If genital preference is so important while dating, just bring it up. It's a lot easier for everyone that way, especially if it's a deal breaker.
I never claimed that I was an ally just an ex-terf, So expect for me to have bias comments that are not always going to aligned with you.
But what I am here for is to understand and engage nuance .
So, do you understand how saying what you said means that you don't see trans people for who we tell you we are? Do you understand that you are being very transphobic in this statement?
Yes and I will admit I do have it, but it doesn’t mean I can’t have it fixed. Please don’t take it out of context. I don’t hate you guys. I am just never educated on your subject, but I am open to learn and understand where you’re coming from.
Transphobia isn't about hate, and yes you are right, you can learn. When we say Trans Women are Women, Trans Men are Men, and Non-binary people are outside that binary choice, we mean just that. We are the Gender we tell you we are, please respect us as such.
Exactly I know you people are badly misunderstood and I come from a background that is very ignorant and very biased against two people and I want to escape that toxic background just so I can change for once.
I think that's wonderful that you want to become a more open minded person. You seem genuine. I'm young and naive but, you acknowledge your mistake and that's incredible. I rather extend my hand to friendship instead of shutting people down. Even if I'm wrong. Acceptance is a long journey
I might be wrong and I'm with you Bonnie, but she seems genuine for wanting to learn and be a better person.
Maybe it's because I'm a baby T, and excessively positive, but even with flaws, I'm glad an ex terf is now open to dialogue. I wasn't so different before. I had to learn too
Well I wasn't transphobic mind you, but I had to learn a lot. About myself, about trans but not only trans, but also a lot of the LGBTQA+ in order to finally grasp what I was lacking.
Well, some of her posts are not... Particularly nice 😞 but if someone want to escape terfing, isn't it better to give them a chance ? If we shut down ancient enemies, they might return to their old demon and we just reinforced all the bad things they think of us ?
But I don't have your background, my life is far more different than yours I think. But I can't bring myself to show my teeth when I can give kindness. Worst case scenario specifically here, I would make a fool of myself being manipulated. But that's a risk I'm willing to take
I wonder if there is a way to continue to educate folks on why comments like these are harmful to so many while also respecting the intent of the person who made the comment? It’s so important to point out the harm being done. It is also important to not push away those who are trying to support us.
She said, "I just don't get it because I would never do it myself," but forgot the next part of that sentence: "so I should probably just shut the fuck up about it."
Reminds me of THAT IT Crowd episode where Douglas' bigotry drives away the only woman who ever made him happy and he winds up alone and crying, kinda like Graham.
Comments
Like if the couple wants to call themselves queer or gay, they are totally under the LBGT+ umbrella to do so but to force someone into pansexuality because you don’t see trans people as their true gender is soooo telling wtf 😭😭😭
ma’am, i don’t believe there were any trans women looking for you, but i love how you assume you’d be doing the rejecting in this situation 😂
the fuck
*rubs temples
Let’s go over this again….
No, it was a lesbian encounter, I'm a woman, regardless of what the contents of my knickers are.
As a man...
...if you date a transwoman, you are just dating a woman!
...if you date a transman, you are just dating a man!
it's simple enough even i can understand it.
viewing trans women as WOMEN who stopped PRETENDING to be men for social expectancy
&
viewing trans women as men who play dress up (NOt ThAt ThERes AnyTHInG WrONg wiTH THat 🥴)
like this is not the fucking “acceptance” we’re talking about !
But what I am here for is to understand and engage nuance .
Maybe it's because I'm a baby T, and excessively positive, but even with flaws, I'm glad an ex terf is now open to dialogue. I wasn't so different before. I had to learn too
It doesn't matter. Whatever conflation they're making doesn't matter.
Trans people face overwhelming levels of poverty, food insecurity, homelessness, & violence directed at us. That matters.
Like I’m so glad that someone was even asking if she wanted to. 🙄