When I’m dating men, whether it be just casual/sexual or serious, I always make it a point to tell them how attractive they are and affirm them in ways outside of sex. I feel like gay men, especially black gay men don’t affirm/compliment each other outside of a sexual context as much we should. - ThreadSky

benzpunani.bsky.social • 21 days ago

When I’m dating men, whether it be just casual/sexual or serious, I always make it a point to tell them how attractive they are and affirm them in ways outside of sex. I feel like gay men, especially black gay men don’t affirm/compliment each other outside of a sexual context as much we should.

Comments

kittenpauws.bsky.social•20 days ago

I am not a man. Let alone a gay man. But I will say the black community does tend to oversexualize everything and I think it's a learned behavior based on stereotypes white people made up about us. The more you're told you are a certain way the more you believe it then eventually act that way

benzpunani.bsky.social•20 days ago

Exactly this! Our bodies have been sexualized since before we were trafficked here, and that definitely leaks into not only how #others perceive us but how we perceive/treat each other.

We have to remind ourselves and each others that we are more than our bodies and pleasure.

kittenpauws.bsky.social•20 days ago

Pleasure takes many forms and doesn't necessarily require another person or sexual activity. That's something people often forget. Like cuddling, showers, skin care, quality time, getting your hair done, etc. These are all nonsexual things that bring pleasure and can be done with a partner or alone

mxrmax.me•20 days ago

💚💚💚

rellyyrell.bsky.social•21 days ago

Love to do it and love to receive it!!

thomasjlive.bsky.social•21 days ago

🎯

bjapriesonyx.bsky.social•20 days ago

So true! I try to tell my hubby at least 3x a day of some type of affirmation.. it's easy to do ❤️.. yesterday I gave him flowers and took him to lunch..just because..

tresbaebae.bsky.social•21 days ago

This!!

larryedvickers.bsky.social•20 days ago

And coming from you it would be an amazing compliment You are so handsome.

gombodude.bsky.social•21 days ago

This is beautiful

uniquelymalik.bsky.social•21 days ago

love love love this.

benzpunani.bsky.social•21 days ago

I was fortunate to have great black women in my life to tell me things like “you’re handsome”, “you’re worthy”, “you deserve the world”, etc. However that isn’t the case for a lot gay men, so I just want to affirm them and let them know that they the shit despite everything.