I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s OK to take time away from all of this and it is going to be better for you in the long run to try and take time away and feel things whether that’s grief anger sadness etc those are normal feelings for what is happening right now.
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Then you have a moral obligation to look at the situation straight in its eyes, lower your glasses even further down your nose and say, with a stern but respectful voice: “No buddy. Nope.”