Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life theonion.com/man-getting-... - ThreadSky

kcghostwriter.bsky.social•86 days ago

I feel seen.

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patrickstaley.bsky.social•86 days ago

Some of the best Thanksgivings I ever had were quiet ones at a nice motel in Palm Springs. 😎

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mgbfilms.bsky.social•86 days ago

Honestly, this guy might be onto something. no family drama, no dishes, just vibes and a Crunchwrap. The real American dream?

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wholefoodsgrind.bsky.social•85 days ago

I stayed home with the Rhea 💩 and sipped on cold meds. Best Holiday yet!

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karijohn.bsky.social•86 days ago

🤣

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checkedout2.bsky.social•86 days ago

🎯

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kaoticmann.bsky.social•86 days ago

Hey when are you kids doing your first show from the "Fuck You Alex Jones Memorial Studio"???????

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thetacobellbell.bsky.social•86 days ago

BONG

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2plus2equals.bsky.social•86 days ago

Taco the bell is more of a “bing.”

At least the one I know from the Holy Post.

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aurie.0x.no•86 days ago

but a bong is something you use for weed

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mcsetty.bsky.social•86 days ago

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jester-bravo.bsky.social•85 days ago

I went to Canada and had Quiznos instead of Taco Bell, and it's been the best Thanksgiving of my life!

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kornygoatweed.bsky.social•86 days ago

The only thing that pushes this out of the realm of possibility is "And Eating Taco Bell". TB is just sad food nowadays.

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61corvair.bsky.social•86 days ago

Not when you’re high.

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kornygoatweed.bsky.social•86 days ago

That's describes 95% of my trips to Taco Bell in the past.

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61corvair.bsky.social•86 days ago

I agree, Taco Bell is but a shadow of what it once was. I haven’t been there in years. Now White Castle, as bad as they are, will still tug at my cravings.

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sheilafeliton.bsky.social•86 days ago

😂

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dinolamour.bsky.social•86 days ago

The other thanksgiving. Giving thanks that you can ignore colonialist propaganda and tell your fam to go fuck themselves. It’s what all those wars were for.

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auntieshell.bsky.social•86 days ago

Ha ha ha!!!!!!!

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jhfield.bsky.social•84 days ago

Here’s The Onion again providing better news than MSM.

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queergre3nthumb.bsky.social•86 days ago

Good for him!!!

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theoriginaltoast.bsky.social•86 days ago

*looks around home for hidden onion cameras*

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krisbouncesx.bsky.social•84 days ago

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chizzle81.bsky.social•86 days ago

Enjoy it while it lasts

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curioetclarus.bsky.social•86 days ago

How did you find me?

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marinazee.bsky.social•86 days ago

My husband wistfully pointed out that our Taco Bell is closed today. It was on the way to my sister's, who isn't known for her culinary skills. 😆

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edenai95.bsky.social•86 days ago

Where's the lie? 👀

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skyeraven.bsky.social•86 days ago

Wait wait wait that’s not satire!

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alumniblues.bsky.social•86 days ago

That’s what I came to say! Minus the Taco Bell for me😆

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94044qb.bsky.social•86 days ago

Who remembers Jeff Spicoli? 😂

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revjoey.bsky.social•80 days ago

That works

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jonathanmlewis.bsky.social•86 days ago

"Then one day he walked on Mom and Dad burning one down and figured out his folks were liberals and actually acted like MAGA a-holes to get him out of the house on Thanksgiving every year......"

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slriley.com•86 days ago

OMG! I am that guy today! Dude! Wow! I smell cookies! I'm so hungry!

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stevetristano.bsky.social•86 days ago

Wow!

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moonchyld72.bsky.social•86 days ago

That was hilarious! I am loving this, thank you for making me laugh again!! 😅💙💙👣

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savedemocracy.bsky.social•86 days ago

Getting high after?? Hmmmmm.....

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writaobscura.bsky.social•86 days ago

Next year, weed cheaper than tomato sauce.

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kateoincanada.bsky.social•86 days ago

Grow your own, I have been for years.

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selkselk.bsky.social•86 days ago

Here’s hoping

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writaobscura.bsky.social•86 days ago

50% of tomatoes come from Mexico, that's a 25% tarrif. Homegrown? No immigrants to pick them and they'll likely rot in the fields. Expect a single tomato to cost $20 this time next year if they pull off all their plans.

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marcos-fs92.bsky.social•86 days ago

I don’t think they will. Not because they’re not dumb enough to do it, but because their billionaire pals will realize they are losing money

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unionthugmuffin.bsky.social•86 days ago

I feel so attacked right now.

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laurietrth2powr.bsky.social•85 days ago

I tried a really low dose gummy in Denver recently and it gave me vertigo!
Like, literally falling over dizzy. Not fun!
I’ve never smoked but wanted to try it.

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laharl808.bsky.social•85 days ago

If you are *just* starting using MJ, while the experience is less pleasant than eating a gummy, I suggest smoking a small amount. When you are laughing at stupid shit and forget what it was you were laughing about to begin with, you have done it right.

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laharl808.bsky.social•85 days ago

Gummies and dabs are a more recent development and as such have less consistent predictability in their outcomes. I’ve been smoking for 26 years now and never experienced vertigo, or anything like that.

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laurietrth2powr.bsky.social•85 days ago

Fantastic description!!
Thanks!!

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weaian.bsky.social•86 days ago

hittin that german geek

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steveisdamages.bsky.social•86 days ago

As the world becomes so that you'd refuse to believe the headlines if you weren't living it, the Onion's only real option was to eschew parody and just lay the truth in front of us stark naked.

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cerebralelixir16.bsky.social•86 days ago

I see nothing wrong here.

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alansmithee1956.bsky.social•86 days ago

Livin’ the life

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ferst60.bsky.social•86 days ago

I heard they had new seating

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dirtywater22.bsky.social•86 days ago

😆

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watson-ad.bsky.social•86 days ago

Godspeed brother.

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phatosas.bsky.social•86 days ago

That’s me right now having the best thanksgiving. Drinking wine, watching football and eating non-Thanksgiving food alone in my apartment.

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s3dsd.bsky.social•86 days ago

God, I wish this were me

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panchapuravida.bsky.social•85 days ago

So distant from the indigenous populations annually traumatized by this Feckin' Farce.

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crackityjones31.bsky.social•86 days ago

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corneliusg.bsky.social•86 days ago

Confirmed

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timbspencer.bsky.social•86 days ago

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malleus888.bsky.social•86 days ago

When there's no cat in the photo, you can tell that he's just pretending to be happy 😼

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lily-bel.bsky.social•86 days ago

Literally this. No family, boyfriend is busy. But I'm just here alone getting high and eating marshmallows. lol

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kurtwhat.bsky.social•86 days ago

Until around 4am. 😉

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lost-soul.bsky.social•86 days ago

It’s always funny how The Onion is more truthful than big media.

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onhishighhorse.bsky.social•86 days ago

I’m at a resort in Mexico having the best thanksgiving of my life (in spite of the Bears shitting the bed)

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balbus-maximus.bsky.social•86 days ago

The Onion always offers real solutions

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situationalmuffin.bsky.social•86 days ago

Or how about no thanksgiving on stolen land wtf

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comealongpond42.bsky.social•86 days ago

It’s just another Thursday to me so, yeah, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

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yanadear.bsky.social•86 days ago

stay single stud

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bbaker2004.bsky.social•86 days ago

Grass is always greener

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shenannigans.bsky.social•86 days ago

This guy's my hero I love how genuinely happy he looks.

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thetracker.bsky.social•86 days ago

It always hurts seeing others live out your dreams.

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ridleykai.bsky.social•86 days ago

this is what boundaries look like

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wbrushing.bsky.social•86 days ago

I literally did a spit take when I read this. They’re not wrong.

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thogstacker.bsky.social•86 days ago

Double heart

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ebroms.bsky.social•86 days ago

me but it’s Chinese food

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ohlookitschris.bsky.social•86 days ago

Oh look it’s me

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christopher-mclean.bsky.social•86 days ago

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pmoehringer.bsky.social•86 days ago

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iamthebiggs.bsky.social•86 days ago

My family is small and tight-knit so this didn't apply to me, but damn can I appreciate this!

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pancake-addict.bsky.social•86 days ago

Taco Bell is closed today which means that man was smart and planned ahead.

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theyellowfinch.bsky.social•81 days ago

Absolutely.

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bobmock.bsky.social•86 days ago

@mouth.bsky.social is this you?

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mouth.bsky.social•86 days ago

Yes

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any78way.bsky.social•86 days ago

I come here for satire, not truth.
Wait. Damn.
This hurts my head.

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markort89.bsky.social•86 days ago

I'd be happy too with a Mexican pizza and cinnamon twists lol.

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kel-the-artificer.bsky.social•86 days ago

I thought this was a satire account?

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boneybeard.bsky.social•86 days ago

Happy Day-After-Apesgiving! 🦧

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drjt4real.bsky.social•86 days ago

#truth

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runsonveg.bsky.social•86 days ago

That hits hard right now.. real hard 🤣🤣

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bobochimpan.bsky.social•86 days ago

Me but for Christmas and cats instead of weed

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gingerjohn68.bsky.social•86 days ago

I had a Christmas like that once in Egypt it was Ramadan. It wasn’t Christmas there. 🥳

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kitharrisonproper.bsky.social•86 days ago

And still they never learn.

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tempestori.bsky.social•86 days ago

Letting go is the hardest thing humans do. But we are brave and strong, and we can do hard things.🙏❤️‍🔥🙏

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tempestori.bsky.social•86 days ago

Photo from Etsy

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tempestori.bsky.social•86 days ago

Fuck yeah, he is.

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theyellowfinch.bsky.social•81 days ago

Best Thanksgiving Ever!

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brianhill53703.bsky.social•86 days ago

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tacohistorian.bsky.social•86 days ago

Every year they post this, and every year it’s the same level of relevance.

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thewither129.bsky.social•86 days ago

Real

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aspiringhermit.bsky.social•86 days ago

This is the way 😆

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karendotcom.bsky.social•86 days ago

Taco Bell was my favorite place to eat when I was 8

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drumnutt.bsky.social•86 days ago

Hell yes!

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oliviasweet.bsky.social•84 days ago

It's a free world, enjoy yourself.

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wallbie.bsky.social•86 days ago

I'm going to have breakfast for dinner after I get off of my shift. Plan to make steak and eggs with biscuits and gravy.

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hamkold.bsky.social•86 days ago

The nearest taco bell is 20 miles away... dammit!

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saltygary.bsky.social•86 days ago

I feel seen https://bsky.app/profile/saltygary.bsky.social/post/3lbzxbcfrv22m

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superrduderr.bsky.social•86 days ago

God I wish he was me

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gentleyblue.bsky.social•86 days ago

Live mas

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timanderson.bsky.social•86 days ago

Living his best life.

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6stringj.bsky.social•86 days ago

Me Right NOW 😂

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6stringj.bsky.social•86 days ago

Minus the Taco Bell part

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meanderinglife.bsky.social•86 days ago

😂👏

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thomasredwing.bsky.social•86 days ago

Good Times

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xisforhate.bsky.social•86 days ago

I can see it.

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tracytrips.com•85 days ago

Plus they just got back empanadas!!!!

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therealbigmoe.bsky.social•86 days ago

What heaven looks like

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djagard.bsky.social•85 days ago

Is it causation or correlation that the family’s best Thanksgiving dinner is without this bruh?

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beaconosm.bsky.social•86 days ago

Average Gen Z (I say this as a member of Gen Z)

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inspectorkamoo.bsky.social•86 days ago

Cutting off your scumbag-family will be one of the best decisions you'll ever make, probably top 5.

It really is that simple, I assure you of this.

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katekelton.bsky.social•86 days ago

😂

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