First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk theonion.com/first-neural... - ThreadSky

adawehi369.bsky.social•137 days ago

https://youtu.be/Y7QXq2BO4uQ?si=eF4KXSp4Q3pXo-S4

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nativcowboy.bsky.social•137 days ago

Sick punk

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drosgood.bsky.social•138 days ago

Does he still get a pony?

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drosgood.bsky.social•138 days ago

Hopefully he didn't have a memory chip installed. Otherwise--the nightmares!

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suhnih.kawaii.social•138 days ago

YIPPEE

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arya-pr-24.bsky.social•138 days ago

Too bad the first recipient wasn't the orange RAPIST! 🤔

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adamhertz.bsky.social•138 days ago

This is the sort of fantasy that I’m totally here for

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captain-corona.bsky.social•138 days ago

And Elon liked it.

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csapidus.bsky.social•138 days ago

https://www.businessinsider.in/science/research/news/scientists-create-remote-controlled-cyborg-cockroaches-that-can-go-under-search-and-rescue-missions/articleshow/94022392.cms

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l0stsect0r.bsky.social•138 days ago

after i get my jd
im working for the onion

1st amendment
is all good in your hands

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curioetclarus.bsky.social•138 days ago

I bet Elon promised to 'upload' tramp to live forever in a computer, grifters grift grifters too you know

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curioetclarus.bsky.social•138 days ago

Not the heroes we thought we wanted...but here we are

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belish.bsky.social•138 days ago

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argomon.bsky.social•137 days ago

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cgvieth.bsky.social•138 days ago

Wow! Finally some good news about Elon..

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bemoredc.bsky.social•138 days ago

Fetterman?

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wrexphillips.bsky.social•138 days ago

Looks too healthy to be Fetterman

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stevenmaines.bsky.social•138 days ago

LOL

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rickymalibu.bsky.social•138 days ago

I knew it! That nefarious muskrat

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bikepathrickross.bsky.social•138 days ago

A liddle glitch.

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sleepywriter77.bsky.social•138 days ago

🤣🤣🤣

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michaelrozumesq.bsky.social•138 days ago

Which senator?

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voiceofjeff.bsky.social•138 days ago

Oh god, that made me chuckle 😃 and slightly vomit in my own mouth 🤢

Interesting times ahead

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creator55.bsky.social•138 days ago

I just want to know if the recipient will conceive a child for Elon? Why else would anyone, even implanted, want to do such a thing? Give the recipient a gift card for Petri dishes.

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bobazfar.bsky.social•138 days ago

God I wish this is real

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abrapw.bsky.social•138 days ago

Probably a coincidence.

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mixie943.bsky.social•138 days ago

DOGE - Depravity On Gagging Elon

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jcoltrane.bsky.social•138 days ago

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confusedcorvid.bsky.social•138 days ago

What worries me is, how long before this satire becomes a reality?😨

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rosidaevirides.bsky.social•138 days ago

Probably why he did it! That and controlling enslaved workers.

Down with broligarchs, never down *on* them.

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yadonkey.bsky.social•138 days ago

... I mean the guy was on Epstein's AND P. Diddy's guest lists

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pastella.bsky.social•138 days ago

Don’t worry 😉 I’m going to “click the fucking link so we get paid” to paraphrase one of your articles

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itsbeka.bsky.social•138 days ago

How many women work here? Just asking

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richarddubourg.bsky.social•138 days ago

Out of thanks, though. Out of thanks.

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diederickab.bsky.social•138 days ago

That poor -way too hot- guy. No one should be made to do that to Elon, because he is what makes it depraved. Even if they wanted to, for some bizarre reason; I think public health officials should step in and protect our collective mental health.

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tcfka-stevas.bsky.social•137 days ago

They don't count as depraved if the target deserved way worse

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runningmandan.bsky.social•138 days ago

Wow, I always thought the Onion only told fake stories 🤷🏼‍♂️

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nativcowboy.bsky.social•137 days ago

Yeah, you better not drop the soap, because nowadays, you may not remember why your azz hurts.

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troelshjort.bsky.social•138 days ago

*he became Elons first, true friend*

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scottsthaname.bsky.social•138 days ago

This is a start, but we want real questions answered like..."Is Putin an alien, and did he put something up Trump's butt?" I don't think there could be any other explanation for their behavior.

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