Forward-Thinking CEO Hoping Company Can Capture New Audience By Making Product Worse In Every Conceivable Way theonion.com/forward... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 21 days ago

Forward-Thinking CEO Hoping Company Can Capture New Audience By Making Product Worse In Every Conceivable Way
https://theonion.com/forward-thinking-ceo-hoping-company-can-capture-new-aud-1846058985/

Comments

shawndhumphrey.bsky.social•21 days ago

New Jenny Nicholson video: So I decided to try Disney's Galactic Starcruiser II. They stuck me behind a pole for the dinner show AGAIN.

bentheadequate.bsky.social•21 days ago

They noticed a lot of people googling "galaxy starcruiser pole" so they added more.

paintslow.bsky.social•21 days ago

I think they call that USDA

courtjezter84.bsky.social•21 days ago

Is his name Elon?

calgaryrds.bsky.social•21 days ago

Worked with the last election.

moneyisspeech.bsky.social•21 days ago

Welcome to the video game industry CEO club.

ekkochambers.bsky.social•21 days ago

They are two reasons two kinds of deliberately miserable game design: to create an oppressive atmosphere or to sell overpriced micro transactions

Kind of makes Iron Lung's commentary on authoritarian capitalism wayyy too on the nose lol.

mikejstarks.bsky.social•21 days ago

@edzitron.com I think the writers at The Onion have been listening to your podcast.

sphereofinfluence.bsky.social•21 days ago

BMW, this is you.

queenfriday.bsky.social•21 days ago

It’s giving monopoly

benjkrause.bsky.social•21 days ago

This is every company “adding AI features” to every product and service.

seandobrien.bsky.social•21 days ago

Why not? It worked for the Republican Party.

craigmcgregortex.bsky.social•20 days ago

America

md-garp.bsky.social•21 days ago

Isn't that what the republican party is doing now?

ioana-andrei.bsky.social•21 days ago

Where's his bonus

saddestclown.bsky.social•21 days ago

Definitely going to get recruited by Meta

docneedsaholiday.bsky.social•21 days ago

If that plan does not work out, he would have a stellar career in healthcare management.

billdenmark.bsky.social•21 days ago

Airlines

ihippie.bsky.social•21 days ago

Now is president of the US

realraydog.bsky.social•20 days ago

Believe the head honcho in DC read his book.

seansmithcr.bsky.social•20 days ago

Sounds like the SHAW / ROGERS Internet Service business plan…

alwayscorrect.bsky.social•21 days ago

At least he's not trying to generate new revenue with a fascistic takeover of the treasury department's IT system and all govt personnel

bsky.aireat.lol•21 days ago

wooo!! capitalism!!! infinite growth forever!!!!

theguiltyfemboy.bsky.social•20 days ago

The genius of Cybertrucks

laissezunfaire.bsky.social•21 days ago

People are responsible for innovation. Corporations then find ways to take advantage of those until they are no longer good products.

mr-hecx.bsky.social•21 days ago

When our greatest satire is indistinguishable from reality…we truly are in the darkest stupidest timeline.

whysoglum.bsky.social•21 days ago

First they came for the parody, and I didn't speak up because I thought it was silly.
Then they came for the satire, and I didn't speak up because I didn't get it.
Then they came for the sarcasm, and there was no way left for me to speak...

mlzarathustra.bsky.social•21 days ago

He must work for Facebook. Or Micro$oft.

kabukistar.bsky.social•21 days ago

Why is The Onion just describing what's actually happening in the printer industry?

nothinggoodhappens.bsky.social•21 days ago

*Every industry.

fplpensioner.bsky.social•21 days ago

It is the WestJet way.

buckyrea.bsky.social•21 days ago

Hey, The Onion, enshittification isn't a joke. It's a business strategy.

And now we're gonna run government like a business

tm-zovc.bsky.social•21 days ago

Microsoft Windows

difficultopinions.com•21 days ago

antuatha.bsky.social•21 days ago

TF is that!?

whysoglum.bsky.social•21 days ago

It's the old prank call "Is your refrigerator running"...

sellasoul.bsky.social•21 days ago

One of the new swasticars

antuatha.bsky.social•21 days ago

Nipple blades
German dungeon porn
Whatever master wants

pseudoscorpion.bsky.social•21 days ago

Growth at all costs baybee!!

demak2375.bsky.social•21 days ago

That CEO is a visionary!

solowingpenny.bsky.social•21 days ago

Inb4 "i thought Onion was satire"

koertje.bsky.social•21 days ago

The Onion is just dumb.
I repeat, they are DUMB

brightanimal.bsky.social•21 days ago

Look out, the Dutch guy has opinions

koertje.bsky.social•21 days ago

Yo, we all have opinions
naic

momo-randy.bsky.social•21 days ago

Thats their selling point. It makes a big difference with current GOP politics, right? 😂

koertje.bsky.social•21 days ago

yur right

pakipou.bsky.social•20 days ago

the onion gets to real sometimes

harrypujols.com•21 days ago

His resume includes Google and Apple.

the-shuu.bsky.social•21 days ago

Lol literally my client

gen2todile.bsky.social•20 days ago

apple

cag119.bsky.social•20 days ago

Sonos

wesvdv.bsky.social•21 days ago

Oh hi Mark!

trueisai.bsky.social•21 days ago

Eloncore

rhondaar.bsky.social•20 days ago

Must work for Meta.

danielbullen.bsky.social•20 days ago

SONOS LOL

olenatheshroomlady.bsky.social•21 days ago

And now they are revealing last November gop author?

sdvibe.bsky.social•21 days ago

Requests 47 as Consultant in Recently Leaked Memo

averagingjoe.bsky.social•21 days ago

That's what an MBA is for

hydra77.bsky.social•21 days ago

Are you talking about the USA?

steveperkins62.bsky.social•21 days ago

The burnt coffee flavor was pretty horrible,but the added ass sweat has truly made it disgusting! Kudos!

casthelilghostie.bsky.social•21 days ago

Forward-Thinking CEO added in shareholder meeting "We'll get them on a free trial, kill the competition then crank the prices up and lock them in for a year, it'll be great!"

Rumours of plans to add ads that inject directly into your eyes without a $10 'premium plus' sub unconfirmed at this time.

dj-ginsu.bsky.social•21 days ago

Where’s the lie?

geraldcbrowning.bsky.social•21 days ago

The Tim Cook way…

sissyleona.bsky.social•20 days ago

Well, they often succeed in driving audiences to a new product. Close to migrating to Linux from Windows after their nonsense. Recall was just the last straw.

burner2937377383.bsky.social•21 days ago

Peacock app

4breemovement.bsky.social•21 days ago

Why is this LITERALLY every saas company I’ve worked for

frank1999.bsky.social•21 days ago

Oh ! the fingers... Spells AI...

mxmllnr.bsky.social•21 days ago

Jacksfilms brother

zenlen.bsky.social•21 days ago

That’s how Trump does it. Gaslight people while putting your finger on the scale to make products worse in this case, immigration law, then swoop in and act like you’re gonna fix it once you are back in charge again.