Appease your desperate need to belong. Become an Onion member today: membership.theonion.... - ThreadSky

theonion.com • 2 days ago

Appease your desperate need to belong.

Become an Onion member today:
https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfegPAAQ

Comments

rheuphus.bsky.social•2 days ago

Guess you don't have to worry about any MAGGOTS reading "The Onion"

masonbrwn.bsky.social•2 days ago

The phone number on the Pizza Hut coupon is eerily similar to the one from my hometown as a child, like I’m weirded out ad done with the internet for today

jxkstraw.bsky.social•1 day ago

Omg I remember picking them up in Madison when they looked like that! Flip to Jim's Journal to see what's up at the copy shop and hope there's a Jim Anchower piece. Brings back memories.

mikemenn.bsky.social•2 days ago

What a bunch of liars.
There's no Pizza Hut at 662 State Street!

robbwitmer.info•2 days ago

all dollars are pizza dollars if you think about it

zabroglexis.bsky.social•2 days ago

I actually don't doubt that the harnessed brain power of Onion enjoyers could very well fix the world. People who enjoy satire are typically very intelligent and creative.

lattesdotter.bsky.social•2 days ago

I.. I just don't think I'm smart enough.

owslicer.bsky.social•1 day ago

Thanks for the compliment.

cgordi.bsky.social•1 day ago

😂😂😂

ryanburchett.bsky.social•2 days ago

That headline makes sense to me!!!

chrisky3.bsky.social•2 days ago

Hah, everyone will join now!

nyisblue.nyc•1 day ago

Quick, check the listings - what’s playing at the Orpheum?

jazzrat2000.bsky.social•2 days ago

Do you take people who are somewhat sub super? Asking for me.

stcook.bsky.social•1 day ago

It's hard to argue with the science

imapest.bsky.social•2 days ago

Do I get to choose a commemorative tote bag with one of your best covers?

0gnomer.bsky.social•2 days ago

who are we, to argue against such an esteemed publication!

indi11.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wait..if it's the Onion, is it not true? Lol

owslicer.bsky.social•1 day ago

Satire can be funny because it's true at times. I will choose to believe that it is funny because it's true. Lol

indi11.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Satire is how we remain sane in an insane world.

valennb4.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is not news, it's common knowledge.

softblossom.bsky.social•1 day ago

I wanna get the Onion Newspaper… 🥺

freeatlass.bsky.social•1 day ago

Trump's tariffs are to steal more money from us. If you don't need it, don't buy it.

theangryepicbanana.bsky.social•1 day ago

$6 for a large cheese goes crazy (little caesars ❤️)

gaybaseballfanjer.bsky.social•1 day ago

For sure!!! 👍

saepurusass.bsky.social•1 day ago

What is your take of yesterday's state of the onion?

rockfordroe.xyz•1 day ago

I'm still waiting on February's issue

dddala.bsky.social•1 day ago

Yes

balloonboyuk.bsky.social•2 days ago

@theonion.com That headline should have been written as:

“Onion readers found to have many layers to them”.

It’d have been so much funnier! 🤣

pinutka.bsky.social•1 day ago

Be like Rincewind, look for onions.

bobrl.bsky.social•1 day ago

Trumf now stops protests and says no more town hall meetings!!!!! Fucking hitler and putin rolled into one slime piece of shit!!!!!!

akuryo.bsky.social•2 days ago

Oooh Pizza Hut

dustinmatheny.bsky.social•1 day ago

They should have swapped chimp and Nobel laureate on the graph.

callmerobo.com•1 day ago

Thank you for the reminder. I finally became an Onion member.

uasked4it.bsky.social•1 day ago

I thought I was smart for a minute. Screw you Onion! Lol

takarakujira.bsky.social•1 day ago

"They appear to be only contemplating fornication and hookey" this deserves a Pulitzer.

readmorepoetry.bsky.social•2 days ago

fancynestmn.bsky.social•1 day ago

UW Madison Library Mall 🥰🥰

huber.bsky.social•1 day ago

What a flashback to the T. Herman Zweibel days.

docempath.bsky.social•2 days ago

I'm cutting out those Pizza Hut coupons and will see if I can get them honored.

dogemag.bsky.social•1 day ago

so are you satire or not, schrodinger?

namehere0402.bsky.social•1 day ago

I subscribed in December and have only received one paper issue.

candoattitude.bsky.social•2 days ago

anxiouspepper.bsky.social•1 day ago

Still telling more truth than Washington Post

sk1ttl3z.bsky.social•2 days ago

Dude pizza hut 5 packs

temstarlite.bsky.social•2 days ago

Yall probably actually really need that membership money ‘cause there’s zero chance you can top what’s going on in America right now.

therasmussen.bsky.social•2 days ago

I new it!

kingmixer.bsky.social•1 day ago

I KNEW IT!!!!!!!🧠🧠🧠🧠

bob-parker.bsky.social•1 day ago

One of the few news sources I still trust, and I'm being serious.

noobtoob85.bsky.social•2 days ago

I KNEW it! 😊

electrogoth.bsky.social•1 day ago

What I love about this article is that it predicted so many sharebait articles I've seen friends share on Facebook saying this or that random thing shows high intelligence.

irongiant350.bsky.social•1 day ago

Finally! Some recognition!

r-david-robinson.bsky.social•2 days ago

You can FRO, you dilettantes.

haveric.bsky.social•1 day ago

Can I get my parking validated?

bullyday.bsky.social•1 day ago

Good old Library Mall. Did it have the same mud dauber problem back then that it does today?

bakerism.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is the kind of confirmation bias I can get behind.

bobwilleatyou.bsky.social•1 day ago

Tell coworkers at your company to Onionize today!

proton-donor.bsky.social•2 days ago

Do you still employ hermaphrodites? Asking for a friend

kelraith.bsky.social•2 days ago

Rather have a pdf instead of dead tree

solman06.bsky.social•1 day ago

Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary
necessity.

kryscolour.bsky.social•1 day ago

Ahhh, the old desktop publishing era of small newspapers. I miss this era.

crazykart.bsky.social•2 days ago

Appease your dirty mind.

Wash your fingers today:
https://Masturwave.com

softblossom.bsky.social•1 day ago

Why are there handle grips on the side if they’re suppose to clean your “fingers” 🤭😏

nothinggoodhappens.bsky.social•2 days ago

Citation needed.

realduckofdeath.bsky.social•2 days ago

"Citation needed."

pissinginthewind.bsky.social•2 days ago

Hears you’re citation: I reed the onion and I am reely smart

jfmanzo.bsky.social•1 day ago

I remember how your hook was that you could cut off the bottom few inches of the paper, which was all coupons. I loved Jim's Journal so, so much, too. UW PhD 1993 here, proud to have seen the birth of the campus paper that didn't feature Steve Marmel when he was still right wing.