Cardinal Who Spent Easter Dinner Telling Pope To Ease Off The Butter Feeling Pretty Vindicated theonion.com/cardina... - ThreadSky

Rumor has it, he went up to the casket and softly whispered "I told you it was too much" and then walked away

tchalla8282020.bsky.social•22 hours ago

This story is stupid and not nice on any level sometimes when you have nothing to say it’s ok to just print a blank space with the words - CANCEL MY COLUMN PLEASE-

reply

wynnenotwayne.bsky.social•1 day ago

The world loves a know-it-all 😒🤣

reply

violetjewel.bsky.social•1 day ago

reply

carliecad.bsky.social•1 day ago

To the chefs at the soiled White House:

Order extra butter

reply

armstrong2025.bsky.social•1 day ago

Butter on your Big Mac sir?

reply

thestoicone.bsky.social•1 day ago

I can think of one or two other “extras” they could put on Trump’s hamberder as well. Where are those 1970s type CIA agents when they could actually do some good in the world? America and the world would rejoice in a celebration that hasn’t been seen since the end of WWII!

reply

motheroftigers.bsky.social•1 day ago

Too soon, man. Too soon.

reply

marebear33.bsky.social•1 day ago

That's The Onion's sweet spot😂

reply

bigbangbuddha.bsky.social•1 day ago

Too soon

reply

msmaura.bsky.social•1 day ago

When he took the name of Saint Francis I knew he would be different. He was and I'm glad I was able to witness it.

reply

215poundsonthemoon.bsky.social•1 day ago

The bigger the cross, the closer to God. LOL

reply

sesjoeketesjoe.bsky.social•23 hours ago

My father wanted smoked eel on his deathbed in 2011. I went to the eel smokehouse to get some for him. He couldn’t swallow it, but just the feeling of it in his mouth and the taste of it was fantastic for him.
(I can’t image… I like chocolate, cheese or wine more. 😆)

reply

iranphotos.bsky.social•1 day ago

“Your holiness! Nobody puts butter on chocolate Easter eggs!” ~Cardinal Fellatio

reply

loudmind.bsky.social•1 day ago

Oh, Onion….🙅‍♀️💆‍♀️🤦‍♀️

reply

minkadoo.bsky.social•1 day ago

Really?

reply

deriamis.net•1 day ago

I’d say “too soon”, but given his humility and sense of humor, I get the feeling he’d be laughing, too.

reply

dvdrbnsn.bsky.social•1 day ago

reply

thatbakedguy.bsky.social•1 day ago

https://bsky.app/profile/thatbakedguy.bsky.social/post/3lnly7wcoms2b

reply

sunraa.bsky.social•1 day ago

OK good

reply

soozeq.bsky.social•1 day ago

You know, when I get to be his age, I'm going to eat all the butter I want.

reply

jackiefromtexas.bsky.social•1 day ago

Oh my, what a strange comment for him to make.

(Besides, we all know JD did it 😂)

reply

baristadoster.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Probably some stupid fucking maga

reply

trimaks.bsky.social•1 day ago

Don’t think this was one of his latest problems. Hope he enjoyed his last meal(s).

reply

yulriddick.bsky.social•1 day ago

Crispy Onion in hell...

reply

haterofhate.bsky.social•1 day ago

hmm, doesn't look to be on a low-fat diet himself

reply

h0pe4dfuture.bsky.social•1 day ago

Petty. You would think a Cardinal of the church would realize that we are there to spread the gospel and choose God. Not to worry about the butter or be "right". Of the 2 eating together, the Pope is most likely to see Heaven.

reply

deriamis.net•1 day ago

Sweetie, you just bit The Onion.

reply

jeffrey49.bsky.social•1 day ago

Once she was diagnosed with cancer, Mother said she could eat anything she wanted. Made no difference. Lots of butter. Fried crispy bacon....

reply

mattjlawlor.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Does give me some solace that Francis’ last big convo on this earth was to tell No-Pants-Dance-Vance what an awful human being he was. Bonus points on this piece’s correct usage of “house” as a verb.

reply

armstrong2025.bsky.social•1 day ago

At 89 years old, I would not be worried about butter.

reply

cosmiccreeper.bsky.social•1 day ago

reply

minutello1.bsky.social•1 day ago

He's home.🥰

reply

bobtheangryone.bsky.social•1 day ago

JD kiled the Pope.

The Pope's stroke occurred soon after the VP visit.

JD, a juvenile assclown, a toxic creature, appears to have caused the stroke with a toxic cloud of bullshit.

His boss, the Antichrist, made it clear he was, in fact, Satan's messenger wearing a Satan Blue suit to the funeral.

reply

niapsaka.bsky.social•1 day ago

Satan Blue?

reply

bobtheangryone.bsky.social•1 day ago

When he, who shall not be named, wears satin blue, it becomes satan blue.

reply

vinylgyroid.sparkle.blue•1 day ago

I don't like JD Vance either but this is some crazy BlueAnon shit lol

reply

ladyriven.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is definitely sarcasm

reply

ladyriven.bsky.social•1 day ago

I mean, they’re replying to an onion article

reply

vinylgyroid.sparkle.blue•1 day ago

Hopefully you're right but it honestly is really hard to tell sometimes.

reply

thesneebs.bsky.social•1 day ago

JD Vance didn’t kill the Pope. The Pope met him, then killed himself.

reply

amateurhuman.bsky.social•1 day ago

There is no evidence showing that JD Vance killed the Pope. But, since there is no evidence that JD Vance didn’t kill the Pope, he should definitely be deported to El Salvador. 👍

reply

mebennui.bsky.social•1 day ago

reply

regamos.bsky.social•1 day ago

reply

ian-goldie.bsky.social•1 day ago

My instinct to read headlines before looking to see who posts them will continue to pay off 😂

reply

nomorepropeganda.bsky.social•1 day ago

Please stop using the Pope. It's a dishonor to his honor.

reply

heliosx.bsky.social•1 day ago

Pedophiles and those that enable them have no honor.

reply

jresc.bsky.social•1 day ago

I'd argue that close to death is exactly when to eat too much butter, i.e., to actively enjoy life now, in the present, rather than...later, which often translates into...never.

reply

gatokty67.bsky.social•1 day ago

When people are on their last path they should have whatever they want to have to eat to hold to love whatever they want give them

reply

tea2teas.bsky.social•1 day ago

My granny wanted doughnuts on her last days. She could stomach much because of her illness, but she got her doughnuts.

reply

gatokty67.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Awesome
I'm sorry for your loss
But she left this earth happy

reply

tea2teas.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Thank you 🫶. She had stomach cancer so it was a miracle that she wanted to eat at all. The family made sure she got whatever she wanted.

reply

gatokty67.bsky.social•22 hours ago

You're welcome
I believe that when you're on your death path you should do whatever you want to do my heart goes out to you sweetheart

reply

kellyutykanski.bsky.social•1 day ago

Too soon?

reply

wendy76.bsky.social•1 day ago

😆 🤣

reply

firehawk46064.bsky.social•23 hours ago

reply

divebart.bsky.social•1 day ago

Rofl brutal

reply

vglntgrandma.bsky.social•23 hours ago

Step away from my butter. I get it.

reply

kbpiers.bsky.social•1 day ago

It was probably too much on Easter to ride around the square not the butter. Can believe this guy is a cardinal. Definitely won’t be the next pope

reply

jglendon.bsky.social•1 day ago

Where is my print copy.....you promised.

reply

bigfatbastard.bsky.social•1 day ago

Pope to Cardinal, "Why, you afraid to go to heaven???"

reply

acl01.bsky.social•1 day ago

It was all those chocolate easter eggs

reply

magentascreams.bsky.social•1 day ago

reply

magentascreams.bsky.social•1 day ago

Now here's my thing! The Fuhrer Donald Trump is coming out with a coin worth millions while President? Ask yourself this, who can afford this so called coin, and what type of people at this party can influents this President? And is he suppose to benefit from his position? Hello?

reply