for the sake of accountability i am reporting back four years later and have succeeded in remaining calm and have made small strides in becoming psychic but houseplants are harder to talk to than i thought they would be
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Thank you for your enquiry. Plants communicate though their roots. We suggest you bury yourself waste deep in soil, form a symbiotic relationship with a fungus, and keep trying for there.
Your friends,
Society for American Plant Psychics (SAPP)
Maybe houseplants have a completely different Maslow pyramid than we do. Yes, they need water and light and maybe some Mozart on the stereo, but perhaps their other interests don't align with ours. I bet half the plants in my house don't give a rat's ass about football or Kendrick Versus Drake.
Comments
Thank you for your enquiry. Plants communicate though their roots. We suggest you bury yourself waste deep in soil, form a symbiotic relationship with a fungus, and keep trying for there.
Your friends,
Society for American Plant Psychics (SAPP)