It has literally never happened to me. Zero times over the three years I've been out of the closet has any cis person responded to bad news on trans issues by checking in on me. - ThreadSky

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social • 34 days ago

It has literally never happened to me. Zero times over the three years I've been out of the closet has any cis person responded to bad news on trans issues by checking in on me.

Reposted from becs

cis friends, you have no idea how big the impact of just asking how we're doing, and then actually listening is

you have no idea how rare it is

absolutely zero cis friends of mine checked in on me today. we notice this shit.

Comments

therealmo.bsky.social•34 days ago

(Offers hug and a cup of tea). I am sorry you haven’t gotten the support you deserve.

How are you holding up?

curvise.bsky.social•34 days ago

not once. people generally don't reach out to me at all, which also sucks, but certainly never about being trans

ohno.imightbe.gay•34 days ago

fuck, i'm so sorry

and i really wish i didn't know how that felt

sending you care 🫂💜

ohno.imightbe.gay•34 days ago

🫂

rosalindanne.bsky.social•34 days ago

I have no trans pals. It’s just I now live in rural Dorset not up in London & working in the media when I had many diverse friends. So I can only show my support online. Which I do, it’s not much but at least it shows we are here!

aesri.bsky.social•34 days ago

Same. I've been out for decades and while you can hear of their concerns, generally, the number of times I've been asked about my feelings, unbidden, is zero.

yuzu-adagio.vtuber.house•34 days ago

I got one yesterday, I really appreciated it! Otherwise it's pretty much only in direct response to me screaming into the void

tomerik.bsky.social•33 days ago

Me being me just has no idea what it's like being you now, so I hope you're okay, atleast as okay as you can be.

4oh3.net•34 days ago

🫂❤️

mschemistrymd.bsky.social•34 days ago

Does it count if I reached out to my friends in the egg times? 🤔

dissembly.bsky.social•34 days ago

omg i had so much guilt when i came out based on "I guess i wasnt a good ally after all, i was unwittingly fighting for myself". I dont think thats right though, I think our experience favours us trying to be empathetic, but we also choose to be.

i got more philosophical than i meant to just then.

digitalwatches.bsky.social•34 days ago

Same, though to be fair, I seldom reach out to people and people seldom reach out to me at all

red-ginny.bsky.social•34 days ago

Most cis people don't care, it's just another piece of news to them and they don't realize how disastrous it is for us. I'm lucky to have a cis wife that is concerned for me and our community, still it would be appreciated if other cis people in my life reached out.

ciara2001.bsky.social•34 days ago

Oh you're not going to believe how many times anyone has checked in on me despite being out nearly ten times as long

hash-biome.bsky.social•33 days ago

like 2 or 3 weeks ago i saw a close friend and told her my worries and she was like "well i care about you but i agree with [transphobic shit] and you're being hyperbolic the government wont ban healthcare" and i was like "abortion" and she was like "ok but i agree with the other stuff"

fuck

eddeemn.bsky.social•33 days ago

How terrible of me to say this but the reality is that she is not a friend. Save yourself some heartache and cut her loose now.

hash-biome.bsky.social•33 days ago

not that simple. she's my dead best friend's mom and has supported me more than anyone else still alive, except my own mother. she truly is a friend to me. i don't know how to square that with the insane shit she said that night. but i'm not gonna accept it. anyone else, i'd agree with you.

iphigenic.bsky.social•34 days ago

I've been out for almost 9 years and it's never happened to me either, whether it be friends or the tiny number of family members I still have intermittent contact with. it doesn't really disappoint me anymore, i just try to not need anything from other people emotionally

the-khayes.bsky.social•34 days ago

Just reached out to my friends, appreciate the reminder.

It's a dark world and I'm so sorry for the evil in it 😔

veryberryland.bsky.social•34 days ago

i've noticed the same. i've also noticed that if i raise concern or want to talk about what's happening with a cis person, they seem disinterested at least and actively annoyed at most

aiesjay.bsky.social•34 days ago

❤️

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social•34 days ago

In 2023 when I was panicking about losing access to HRT because the private HRT provider I was getting it from lost their medical license? Even when I told people about the situation, they just blankly failed to connect the dots to how that might impact my mental state.

doneanddani.bsky.social•34 days ago

The manufacturer of the blockers stopped left the market here
I was panicked because I was running out
I had to go to 30 different pharmacies to find left overs
Told my cis friends, they didn't seem to get the big deal
Told my best friend (trans) she immediately offered me part of her stash

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social•34 days ago

Trans women on the internet offered me their own supply of HRT and directed me to resources I luckily didn't end up needing, by the way

aryafairywren.bsky.social•34 days ago

my experience is, cis people largely don't get what HRT is *for*, and ngl a ton of trans people don't get it either

the depersonalization, the body horror-esque experience of growing up in the wrong body, inability to see your own face in the mirror.. not propagandized as much as these are real

aremea.bsky.social•34 days ago

And as a trans man, I've been struggling for YEARS now, trying to get a reliable supply of HRT in Sweden and Norway. There are no channels for us to get safe HRT, we have no options since GenderGP stopped helping us 3 years ago.

gengoodrat.bsky.social•34 days ago

I got 2 yesterday and I feel unbelievably lucky to have such people in my life.

waywardwaverer.bsky.social•34 days ago

Me neither. I don't think any of the cisgender people I know would notice the bad news if I didn't try to explain it to them (which I usually don't, as they don't really care and won't take it seriously anyway).

It's really alienating. Though the lack of care is not confined to my transness either.

waywardwaverer.bsky.social•34 days ago

(Though I'm not in Norway, sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything...)

tpwrtrmnky.bsky.social•34 days ago

This is an international movement and your contributions are valued

Comments

Posting Rules

Reply