The number of times I have uncovered a Matchbox car covered in tape and hidden somewhere it absolutely should not be, only to tuck it back into place and hope no one ever ties me to its presence
My mother watched my brothers and me wrapping Christmas presents one year when we were young. She immediately invested in 3M because she figured they would never go out of business.
Parenting to me was mostly WTF was that? And me being ambushed by youngest and middle child starting shit the moment I walked in the door after an hour 15 drive home. To say that I had resting annoyance face for 10 years is an understatement.
When your kids are upstairs and you hear a loud bang followed by silence and a little part of you hopes it's an axe murderer because that would be easier to deal with 🙈
I worked with a person who went home one day to discover several Barbie Dolls tied, naked and upside down, to a leg of the dining room table.
This person was afraid to ask the children why.
By dinner time the dolls were back in their playhouse, clothed.
I'm kinda lucky because my unexpected daughter (now 7) is a Sagittarius and I'm Gemini, so I can say "Baby, Mama doesn't have the energy to do your mental labyrinth tonight.. can you just tell me what song you want to fall asleep to tonight, please? Mama can't play "guess how wrong I am"..
Mine are young adults and I continue to hear bits and pieces of juicy stories that make me put my fingers in my ears and sing loudly.
Some stories are recent, but way too many happened when I was, presumably, in charge.
In my defense, at one point I had 10 pre-teens under my roof.
It all started with, "Honey, is that a turd over there?" when they were toddlers. From there, my "Don't wanna know" filter has only grown exponentially in power and sensitivity.
I find myself saying “why would you do that?!?” quite a bit despite the fact that I have never once felt better after hearing their explanation - such as it is - of why they did that.
Hey?
I found a pair of Clean! Size 8-children jeans buried in a plastic shoebox in the backyard.
-over 12-years after the kid who buried them last wore them.
And she can’t/won’t tell me why.
Just no ducking clue.
Everyone’s laughing and I’m like -
WTAF?!
Confession to being on the other side of an incident- I still dread someone digging up a polyester skirt with a big melted spot that SOMEONE buried in my mom’s back yard after making a campfire. Is 40-ish years a proper statute of limitations?
Parenting: the world’s only unpaid detective job where the clues are always sticky. 🕵️♀️🍭
From mysterious floor stains to half-eaten snacks in toy boxes—@awelcomehomeorg gets it. We support families navigating all of life’s messy, beautiful chaos.
Comments
This person was afraid to ask the children why.
By dinner time the dolls were back in their playhouse, clothed.
I'm kinda lucky because my unexpected daughter (now 7) is a Sagittarius and I'm Gemini, so I can say "Baby, Mama doesn't have the energy to do your mental labyrinth tonight.. can you just tell me what song you want to fall asleep to tonight, please? Mama can't play "guess how wrong I am"..
Some stories are recent, but way too many happened when I was, presumably, in charge.
In my defense, at one point I had 10 pre-teens under my roof.
Ignorance truly is bliss in some cases.
I found a pair of Clean! Size 8-children jeans buried in a plastic shoebox in the backyard.
-over 12-years after the kid who buried them last wore them.
And she can’t/won’t tell me why.
Just no ducking clue.
Everyone’s laughing and I’m like -
WTAF?!
From mysterious floor stains to half-eaten snacks in toy boxes—@awelcomehomeorg gets it. We support families navigating all of life’s messy, beautiful chaos.
Did I have a few questions? Yes.
Did I ask them? No.
https://gofund.me/e1bf3890