I honestly wonder what happens behind many closed doors for those struggling to cope with partners/parents/etc who have #dementia. It's tiring & stressful work, and they are pitched into it with no training or qualifications for the work. Yes, there is plenty of support but you have to go find it. - ThreadSky

dymvue.bsky.social • 41 days ago

I honestly wonder what happens behind many closed doors for those struggling to cope with partners/parents/etc who have #dementia. It's tiring & stressful work, and they are pitched into it with no training or qualifications for the work. Yes, there is plenty of support but you have to go find it.

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schopflin.bsky.social•41 days ago

I know what you mean. You break down in patience and feel guilty about it. You do this with the person you love the most and wonder about people in caring roles just because they are the unmarried offspring.

dymvue.bsky.social•41 days ago

Very true. However, I am done with feeling guilty about having those moments where I feel I can't cope. Neither of us asked to be in this situation, I am not a trained helper and not a very patient person at the best of times, so he just has to have what he gets!!!

spacelibrarian.bsky.social•41 days ago

The support is not always accessible either. Mum has dementia, her and dad are still living independently but he's blind and can't really access the support (apart from a 6 weekly support worker visit).

dymvue.bsky.social•41 days ago

Gosh that sounds hard.

spacelibrarian.bsky.social•41 days ago

My sister and I aren't too far away but I work full time and she has young children. Working on getting them to accept a home help but it's not easy 🙄

dymvue.bsky.social•41 days ago

We're lucky where I live to have useful local support, but otherwise much of the help is general, or online ie no good for the non-computer literate. Looking at the #Alzheimers Society #Dementia Support forum reveals the terrible struggles so many experience. Social care needs attention.

siamesecaroline.bsky.social•41 days ago

This also worries me. I don’t have any answers but it occupies my thoughts increasingly as we get older, and this is so far without the added factor of dementia (although OH, with a number of health problems already, is increasingly forgetful so we may be heading in that direction).

valeriea.bsky.social•41 days ago

In addition, if it’s your partner, you lose the support and the companionship of the person who would normally be there for you in times of difficulty. It’s tough.

ladyweathergirl.bsky.social•41 days ago

I’m so sorry - just when you need it most to handle something so emotionally draining.

dymvue.bsky.social•41 days ago

So true. It's like living through a long divorce.

valeriea.bsky.social•41 days ago

Good description! I was explaining to an understanding friend that, when I drop OH off at his own home (we've always been " together-living-apart") I feel a huge sense of relief. He's very pleasant and grateful that I care about and for him, but he's not the same person.

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