Thank Scott, this is a timely message as usual. What changed for you at 44? Was is a conscious choice to relearn how to cry, was it a particular life event or something else? I’m curious
Men are taught to associate kindness & empathy with weakness bc it's easier
Interestingly kindness is hard to master. It's easier to act out of anger, an acceptable emotion for men, than to have control of oneself before acting at all
I did time. I was 18 years old doing 15 to life for being in an apartment that contained drugs. - the first time I saw someone get cut it horrified me. The pure violence. After a while I started asking what did that person do to deserve being cut. That thinking haunted me. Scared me. I lost me.
Great message to figure out why it's making you cry/laugh too. We should actively engage with the media we consume and think about it. Lots of media slop is thrown in our faces with the expectation that we'll eat it up because we don't care. Which is why they think AI is just as good as human art.
Actively engage with the movies/TV you watch and novels you read. Discuss the themes and emotions you experience with your friends. Read breakdowns about it. Media is created via human connection for human connection. To engage with it any less is to miss the point.
Not only men. When my husband died suddenly I couldn't cry.
I had to pick up the pieces of his business. I felt I had to stay strong for my adult children.
Then one day, I got so damn angry at the situation I cried.
I agree, I looked at crying as being as you described. If I cried it meant I cared. Then I would sift through it all work out irrationalities, then validate X feeling, onto plan for Y , just work through cause and effect… felt normal.
I love someone who forgot how to cry. This helped.
This is incredibly timely. We need to double down on empathy and challenge conventional ideas of masculinity. We need to pay attention to how we are raising and supporting our boys. Thank you for modelling vulnerability in a meaningful way @profgalloway.com.
I had a moment at 21 where I wasn't even that torn up about something, but for some reason I felt I could cry for the first time since elementary school. I let it happen and it was therapeutic. It helped me to be so much more in touch with myself and my emotions. It's become very important as a dad.
Sorry but no - U swallow that shit up and bottle up inside until u get drunk at a friends wedding and u let it all out in an massive rant about everything unrelated to what got u upset to begin with. Then u apologize, blame the booze and relax again.
This kind of assumes that a man actually does feel anything much. It's learned behavior not to, but if seven decades have given me perspective what I see in younger men I know is that they've learned it well indeed.
But you're entirely right. And your last statement in this clip seems the norm now.
I heard a man on the radio as I was walking home from work this evening. He runs a steel plant that’s lost all its orders because of the tariffs. He’s been getting calls from people all over Canada expressing sympathy. /2
What the actual fuck are you talking about? Do you know how damaged war makes people? Veterans have an absurd rate of suicide. Military training/work destroys the bodies of young people and the things they see and do destory them mentally. The generations drafted are the most emotionally damaged.
Seriously, you know how many marines I know can’t do shit like walk up stairs? Just from fucking “training” not even deployment. We fuck our soliders up big time and then let them down every step of the way after that. Especially with recent VA cuts and shit, it’s about to get wild.
I've got two friends in their mid thirties. One can't walk without a cane and one can't hear without incredibly expensive hearing aids due to their service. Incredibly worried what's going to happen to them with all the VA cuts if they can't get access to help.
Yeah it’s horrendous, the way this administration is going I think we’re all pretty well fucked. Unless we can reverse the coup with our own coup. Soon there will be lots of veterans without much to lose hopefully waging war on republican traitors.
I so love you, Scott. You're like a ton of guys I worked with on Wall Street, except you went on - relatively late in life - to grow a soul and a conscience and a real heart. You should be proud of your huge, massive capacity for change long after others have lost it.
Comments
Interestingly kindness is hard to master. It's easier to act out of anger, an acceptable emotion for men, than to have control of oneself before acting at all
Kindness & empathy req self reflection & control
I had to pick up the pieces of his business. I felt I had to stay strong for my adult children.
Then one day, I got so damn angry at the situation I cried.
I can personally say it feels so good to let the stress out. Better out than in!
I didn’t realize someone could forget how to cry until last night.
This message just kind of feel in my lap and to see it articulated so well…
I appreciate the approach crying being a canary in the mine to build emotional intelligence.
Thank you ☺️
I agree, I looked at crying as being as you described. If I cried it meant I cared. Then I would sift through it all work out irrationalities, then validate X feeling, onto plan for Y , just work through cause and effect… felt normal.
I love someone who forgot how to cry. This helped.
https://youtu.be/HIg5d8zYAWg?si=bVoFSDwgmJEES8TS
Navigating and regulating tough emotions like sadness and anger are important skills for men and women.
https://youtu.be/57BwHKcrO5o?si=lLIoM_Ms9Ni2d2Su
I cry at cartoons when they're making a point about some moral issue.
I do have an issue with death though, seen too much and I don't cry, I seize up.
But I'm a wuss most of the time.
Just sayin'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NfaXsSSVj8
But you're entirely right. And your last statement in this clip seems the norm now.
Tag someone who needs this empowering reminder.