A follow-up on this - a confirmed diagnosis today, of the Inattentive type. If I had not thought "that's just the way I am" for years and blamed myself for being a scatterbrain, maybe I would have looked into it earlier instead of at 41. For anyone who needs to hear that. - ThreadSky

katebeaton.bsky.social • 46 days ago

A follow-up on this - a confirmed diagnosis today, of the Inattentive type. If I had not thought "that's just the way I am" for years and blamed myself for being a scatterbrain, maybe I would have looked into it earlier instead of at 41. For anyone who needs to hear that.

Reposted from Kate Beaton

I have an ADHD assessment tomorrow morning, and did not fill out the intake forms until the very last second because I also didn't fully read the email, and for the first time ever I hope they take this into account

Comments

sophiahelix.bsky.social•46 days ago

I finally got my kid diagnosed in January, after getting sent a packet last summer that was so intimidating it took me 2 months to get it done

felt like I should have been given a 2 for 1 diagnosis

mitcheldritch.bsky.social•45 days ago

Welcome to the tribe!

sinclaire149.bsky.social•45 days ago

Welcome to the squirrel club 😄 we got your back. If you need information about coping mechanism to help you please feel free to ask and I can hopefully point you in some good directions that will help you.... Just remember you are not broken you just think in spaghetti instead of waffles

jessicabsays.bsky.social•45 days ago

Got my autism diagnosis this past weekend at 47, share some of these feelings for sure.

krantul.bsky.social•42 days ago

Basically my wife's story, compounded by the fact that she was told throughout high school (early 1990's) that "only boys have ADHD."

demonoflight.bsky.social•45 days ago

Getting a diagnosis can be so relieving after living for years wondering what's "wrong" with you. I got my autism diagnosis well into my 30s and I feel so much lighter.
Also found out I got diagnosed with ADHD at 13 but my parents never bothered telling me so... learning that was nice too.

nyadnar17.bsky.social•46 days ago

Its so frustrating watching so many people I know get diagnosis in their late 30s/early 40s.

So much time blaming themselves and so many years of coping mechanism.

sigh, anyway glad you are getting help. Proper treatment has been life altering for the people I know.

panmaruda13.bsky.social•45 days ago

44. It mostly helped me mitigate self loathing. My ways haven’t changed all that much.

leaveittopsteph.bsky.social•46 days ago

Same. Just got diagnosed in October, at 46.

lainitaylor.bsky.social•46 days ago

Also diagnosed on my 40s when women started talking about it online. It never occurred to me, not even for a millisecond. The characterization of “ADD” when o was growing up was the disruptive boys in elementary school, period!

theclobberinkid.bsky.social•45 days ago

Same age i found out!

thewerle.bsky.social•45 days ago

Welcome to the tribe Kate, you're instantly the best of us and I
I'm thrilled to have you in the team

boinzy.bsky.social•45 days ago

I didn't even understand it was a possibility until my mid-40s. Got a diagnosis and I am still trying to figure out how to work with my brain.

itscarryl.bsky.social•46 days ago

The vindication is huge. Glad they saw it.

fourteenacross.bsky.social•46 days ago

I was diagnosed at 37, so I feel you. So many "what if?" thoughts.

whirligigsaw.bsky.social•46 days ago

I was also diagnosed super late, after having my tendencies of failing to concentrate and procrastinating despite full awareness of the consequences being attributed to innate irresponsibility and laziness, so i totally understand 😭

maddiequestions.bsky.social•46 days ago

If there's one thing I remember about growing up with ADHD it's definitely being taught that it was all my fault and that I had to fix it through sheer willpower and that definitely caused some issues

I'm glad you could get a diagnosis

tyrotcm.bsky.social•45 days ago

*waves in severe C-PTSD*

starvinartist6.bsky.social•45 days ago

How do you go about getting assessed for that? Cuz i have my own suspicions about myself but no docs to confirm it

mfelps.bsky.social•46 days ago

Diagnosed at 55. Glad you got the diagnosis, hope it helps. Welcome to the club. We hold meetings on Thursdays, but it's okay if you forget.

zacbentz.com•46 days ago

@leaveittopsteph.bsky.social Sound familiar? 😅

tassja.bsky.social•46 days ago

I just got my diagnosis this weekend at 34! Feels weird but it's better than not having it did. Spent so much life telling myself I was just lazy and trying to berate myself out of it, lo and behold it's a medical thing.

sarcasmorator.bsky.social•46 days ago

I was 38 or 39, I think

tassja.bsky.social•46 days ago

old

felgraf.bsky.social•46 days ago

My mom was in her late 20 or early 30's, I think.
I got diagnosed at a young age, and so to understand what I'd be going through, she sat down and started reading "You mean I'm not Stupid, Lazy, or Crazy?"

... and got about 1 chapter in before she went "WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE."

sarcasmorator.bsky.social•46 days ago

I was diagnosed as a kid but at the time it was assumed you grew out of it, so it wasn't until 20 years into adulthood that I started seeing people talk about stuff and went "waaaaaaait a minute here"

felgraf.bsky.social•46 days ago

I am glad social media has helped people find these things out.
It's how I realized I'm probably also autistic.

(Not getting tested for it, b/c at my age--well, unlike with ADHD, there's not really any possible benefit to an official diagnosis, and a HOST of possible downsides.)

felgraf.bsky.social•46 days ago

While I suspect ADHD may have a couple different causes that present similarly, I can 100% say that our families is absolutely genetic.
I have it. Little brother has it. Mom has it.
*EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MOM'S SIBLINGS* has it.

felgraf.bsky.social•46 days ago

Her parents never got tested, but--in the days before cordless phones, every phone in her house had a 50 foot cord because her dad HAD to pace when on the phone...

sparklemarkers.bsky.social•45 days ago

I think I DO need to hear this because I have danced around getting evaluations for years yet I still can't shake the thought that nah, I'm just bad at functioning

markusbuhmann.bsky.social•46 days ago

That hits hard. The worst part of a late diagnosis is those lost years and doubting yourself.

macalbatross.bsky.social•46 days ago

Got a call from a restricted number, took the chance, and it was from Merton's ADHD team asking why I'd not sent them the form they'd sent me before it no longer applied

Erm..

Seems like they set out for us to fail

mkreed.bsky.social•45 days ago

I was 43. It's been amazing to figure this out! Only 80's kids will understand AFAB attention disorders being read as a personal failing! 🫠

colindweir.bsky.social•45 days ago

Can't imagine a more encouraging person to read this from.

clarlune.bsky.social•46 days ago

Diagnosed at 70 😂 Explains a lot about my past and present. I would feel better if I believed in reincarnation 🐦‍🔥

feralleslie.bsky.social•45 days ago

Welcome to the clerb! I found therapy super helpful for processing all the feelings that come with an adult diagnosis. 🧡

themckenziest.gay•46 days ago

I didn’t get my adhd diagnosis until I was like 34 <3

Frustrating to know I could’ve had the help I needed at a young age but so grateful I know now

dykemax.bsky.social•45 days ago

just went through the same thing last week! decades of losing things, missing appointments and being chronically late, struggling in school and feeling like a failure for not being able to keep up with my peers...and finally having it confirmed as adhd! what a coincidence! cheers to us 🥂✨

dykemax.bsky.social•45 days ago

im happy to be moving forward with a better understanding of myself but i cant help but mourn all the lost time and worry and anger at myself for struggling when i could have been kinder to myself or asked for necessary accommodations in school or the workplace 😥 😒

fergus.oolong.co.uk•45 days ago

Hey, congratulations, and welcome to the community of people who know they're neurodivergent!

ratherdrawn.bsky.social•45 days ago

Welcome to the club <3

alterici.bsky.social•46 days ago

All my life I attributed this kind of stuff to being an artist. "Artists are just like that." Turns out the symptoms of being an artist and having ADHD are pretty dang similar.

funhilde.bsky.social•45 days ago

So similar! Too similar!

lavawings.bsky.social•44 days ago

I bought the game due to how funny this was to watch.

atrus.bsky.social•45 days ago

I'm trying to get a diagnosis at 45 and not only it's been an obstacle course, but there's always this annoying voice in my head going "just because you're getting tested it doesn't mean they'll find anything, maybe you're just lazy".

richjohnston.bsky.social•46 days ago

Me too. It took Armando Iannucci explaining it on the Richard Herring podcast for me to go "oh no, that explains everything". 52 here.,

aiannucci.bsky.social•45 days ago

Glad you’re taking steps. Sometime it’s just the acknowledgement you have it that switches you into thinking more positively about yourself and whatever life will throw at you next.

richjohnston.bsky.social•45 days ago

Also I just laughed out loud in the biscuit aisle in ASDA at your Rachel Reeves zillion year plan, so thanks for that too.

richjohnston.bsky.social•45 days ago

Got diagnosed, getting treatment but understanding myself more. No one had explained it in that way, about actions having to be fuelled by deadline adrenaline, that I had ever heard or seen until I was sat in that theatre last summer. It changed everything. I doubt I am alone.

dtheslop.bsky.social•45 days ago

A couple of years ago, I was producing these BBC talks to children in schools, and we had a lot of neurodivergent people speaking, and I was listening to them thinking "oh, yeah, that's like me, that would explain EVERYTHING".

I feel like maybe I should get an assessment at some point...

richjohnston.bsky.social•45 days ago

do you have a partner you can tell to bully you into getting a medical appointment? Then to fill in the forms they send you? And then to keep checking your portal? If so, I recommend you do. If not, set up an AI to do it.

dtheslop.bsky.social•45 days ago

Hi, thanks. Yeah if I asked for an assessment I'm sure my wife would be supportive. I just have this weird thing where I feel like I'm trying to co-opt other people's issues! Like, I can live with whatever I have, why should I try to claim to be whatever?! But I should probably yep to get over that!

scottjohnsonart.bsky.social•46 days ago

I wasn't diagnosed until age 40. My son's teacher suggested that we get him assessed. I was like "What? But why? He's fine! He's exactly like me!"

scottmccloud.bsky.social•46 days ago

Many parents, myself included, learned of their own ADHD after being told repeatedly about it by their own ADHD kids (for whom it had been patently *obvious* for years).

feralleslie.bsky.social•45 days ago

When I got my diagnosis at 30 and talked to my mom about it, she was like “well, we all experience that.” No mom. You just think we *all* do because you have it too! 🤣 I’m 39 now and last year she was like “I think maybe I have adhd?” I told her yep! That’s how being a neurodivergent family works.

daruniasage.com•46 days ago

That's precisely why I got an assessment. My kid is ADHD. I saw all of her mannerisms and said "well fuck, this makes perfect sense".

daruniasage.com•46 days ago

I wonder how many people got whipped and told they were lazy by their parents for not doing certain things due to executive dysfunction...

celiniezucchini.bsky.social•45 days ago

That's how a friend found out about her's. Then she talked about how she knew and what being ADHD is like in such a way that I could tell she was saying you also totally have ADHD without literally saying it.

richjohnston.bsky.social•45 days ago

I had to wait for my daughter's autism...

jenniewren.bsky.social•45 days ago

Same

mckelvie.bsky.social•46 days ago

Welcome. ❤️

willemite.bsky.social•46 days ago

Yep, I finally got checked out at 36. It's pretty hard thinking about all those years that could've been so different if I'd just had the proper support earlier in life... 😐

alert74.bsky.social•45 days ago

Diagnosed last week at 50. If I was a MAGAt I'd spitefully want anyone else from getting a diagnosis because why should they have what I didn't?

maydaytrippe.bsky.social•45 days ago

same. only clinically diagnosed in my mid thirties and they finally started me on stimulant meds a few years ago. unbelievable what a difference it makes. the freedom to cut your past self some slack for making it this far is a helpful element for me.

infinitesidequests.bsky.social•45 days ago

My cousin was diagnosed in his 40s, and my reaction was, "But we're all like that?" 💀

kylethemighty.bsky.social•45 days ago

Exact same as you except 48 when diagnosed

nicholeoduffy.bsky.social•45 days ago

I feel this! Similar experience a couple years ago. Welcome! It is friendly here.

goatsarah.org•45 days ago

51 here.

My appointment is next month

itsmelikewhoa.bsky.social•45 days ago

Tfw you realize you’ve been masking all this time across every dimension of you life

seandove.bsky.social•46 days ago

I went in for the test a couple weeks ago. She explained the first test and I was so excited to do it I didn’t take in any of the instructions and she was like…. Ahhhh that was a test run. Hahahahahh

willemite.bsky.social•46 days ago

Lol, my psychologist was doing the assessment with me and she asked "do you have trouble sitting still?" and I said "... no, I don't think so?" and she said, "you've been bouncing your knee for the last 20 minutes." and I was like, "oh, does that count?" 💀

paulajbecker.bsky.social•45 days ago

Good for you, Kate! But, sheesh...When I was younger, none of these terms, etc. existed, except maybe "hyper", but it was just an adjective. I wonder if 66 is too late to check my brain...

newwaterfordgirl.bsky.social•45 days ago

It is not and if you have it, it may change your whole perception of yourself for the better.

paulajbecker.bsky.social•42 days ago

I wish I knew what this was in reply to so I could know what this means...I had the same issue with Twitter. Couldn't find the initial post a reply was to. 🤷🤔

markandydcnxii.bsky.social•45 days ago

I got diagnosed when I was 35. My whole life suddenly made so much more sense. I also found out that apparently nicotine is really good at suppressing ADHD symptoms. So it made it clear how no one noticed when I was growing up because of the constant secondhand smoke I was surrounded by

metrokitty.bsky.social•45 days ago

For me, the obstacle was not conforming to the typical characteristics. “I do well in school and I can hold down a job. I guess I don’t have ADHD, then, and I just need to try harder.” Nobody told me about the different ways that it can present.

newwaterfordgirl.bsky.social•45 days ago

I got diagnosed at 46. It has made a world of positive difference in how I see myself so I hope it does the same for you. As an example, procrastinating is a very typical ADHD behavior. That's probably why you didn't fill out the forms until the last minute 😊

zenslumbers.bsky.social•46 days ago

Late diagnoses are wild. Going so long thinking you were broken only to find out there was something legit behind it all

amyathene.bsky.social•45 days ago

I hear that. I got diagnosed at 38.

britterson.bsky.social•45 days ago

I also got this diagnosis a couple weeks ago. There’s definitely A LOT OF FEELS to sort through.

draculaisland.bsky.social•46 days ago

just diagnosed at 35, they recommended i speak with a therapist to unlearn any associated negative self image that came with decades of nontreatment lol

felgraf.bsky.social•46 days ago

there's a reason why one of the earliest books about this is titled "You Mean I'm Not Stupid, Lazy, or Crazy?"

scolopendra.bsky.social•45 days ago

If it makes you feel any better, my parents (who are about to break 70) are just now starting to realize that they have the 'tism.

And I didn't realize I was nonbinary until I was 36.

ratheranimated.bsky.social•46 days ago

Welcome to the club!
I have to say it is very perturbing how many women I know, some of whom are very close friends, who didn't get a diagnosis till their late 30's/40's. Meanwhile they got me bang to rights in childhood.

pixelsbyprince.bsky.social•45 days ago

I'm in a similar boat at 45. I didn't have a clue, because my ability to hyper-focus at the last minute made up for all the procrastination and wheel-spinning. As soon as I became a Lead Artist and had to keep track of a dozen things at once ... I thought I was gonna die.

fergus.oolong.co.uk•45 days ago

Companies have a horrible way of pushing monotropic people to stop hyperfocusing and take on responsibilities for keeping track of many things at once...

pixelsbyprince.bsky.social•45 days ago

Fortunately I have an absolutely lovely Art Director who gave me time to figure out some strategies to make it work. I nearly ended up on a PIP but was able to pull out of the nosedive. If I'd been working anywhere else ...

deadbirdparty.bsky.social•46 days ago

congrats!! My adhd and then subsequent autism diagnosis (it wasnt until my adhd was medicated that my autism really punched through) basically saved my life in my early thirties. Its such a huge game changer!

joshscherr.bsky.social•46 days ago

I got the same diagnosis under similar scatterbrain circumstances 2 weeks before my 50th birthday; it's never too late. I spent a few months kicking myself for not checking sooner, but just having the knowledge helps me (& my family/friends) going forward. Wishing you the best!

seanallday.bsky.social•46 days ago

Yup, was diagnosed at 36, it explained so much about my 10- to 35-year-old selves 😂🙃

artyewok.bsky.social•46 days ago

I was also diagnosed with the inattentive type in my 40s.

It makes so much sense.

a4rdvark.bsky.social•46 days ago

I feel like there should be a card for neurodivergent diagnosis occassions.

The front would be completely covered in text:

Congrats/Condolences/Welcome/I'm sorry/One of Us!/Hugs/Hooray/You did it!/We're here for you...etc.

scottchantler.bsky.social•46 days ago

Irene was diagnosed last year, at 39. Similar deal. On the upside: she’s making a comic about it.

ironwren.bsky.social•46 days ago

I was due to get the results of my ADHD assessment a week ago but I missed the followup appointment. Make of that what you will.

susanlbridges.bsky.social•46 days ago

I was diagnosed this year as well. I have met SO many other writers who have ADHD, it’s bonkers.

misterhooper.bsky.social•46 days ago

How do you actually write for long enough that you feel confident enough to keep writing!?

susanlbridges.bsky.social•45 days ago

A lot of it is writing something, finishing, then going to the next thing to keep things exciting and fresh. I’m also a research junkie, but I hate long slow projects. Let me finish and move on! Also learning what part of day works best for you is key, for me it’s mornings.

gravitybreak.media•46 days ago

"ADHD? are you sure you're not just bad at life and need to try harder?"

willemite.bsky.social•46 days ago

"Are you sure you don't just have bad character and need to pray more?"

thecerpent.bsky.social•45 days ago

I got diagnosed ADHD - Inattentive at 37. Better late than never, but man, would that have helped me stave off some grief and unhealthy coping mechanisms for the decades prior if I'd gotten diagnosed in childhood. Sadly, my parents were of the "ADHD is just an excuse to put kids on drugs" camp.

weaseloid.bsky.social•45 days ago

Congrats. I just got diagnosed a couple of years ago, at about the same age as you.

ninamodaffari.bsky.social•46 days ago

I recently got diagnosed as well! For most of my life my mom said (who doesn't believe in female autism / ADHD) that I was just an indigo child / Gemini and that's why I had issues focusing. So glad I sought my diagnoses, and so happy for you too

articulateautistic.bsky.social•43 days ago

My mom said I was left-handed and a Sagittarius. Both true, but I’m still autistic 😉

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