Here's the thing that I've come to realize: Our sons are going to be shaping THEIR friends, too. It's not a one-way street of bad messages. Do what you can so that your sons will become the friends who are doing the influencing. - ThreadSky

caseinmicelles.bsky.social • 5 days ago

Here's the thing that I've come to realize: Our sons are going to be shaping THEIR friends, too. It's not a one-way street of bad messages. Do what you can so that your sons will become the friends who are doing the influencing.

Reposted from Pete Keeley

The sad truth for parents is, at some point, your child’s friends start to shape their character more than you. Do what you can, when you can.

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nalextaylor.bsky.social•5 days ago

more worried youtube and tiktok groupthink shaping their character

valymonahan.bsky.social•3 days ago

Dude, online society is society: some good, some bad, some radicalizing. If you talk to kids about racism/sexism/ableism bullying/consent, they will RECOGNIZE those things, online. Tiktok has been TRANSFORMATIONAL for disabled folks. Isolated queer kids found community on line. Baby/bathwater etc.

caseinmicelles.bsky.social•5 days ago

I think one of the issues we are facing is the line between friend and social media personality has been blurred by the presentation of new media figures, appearing on the same device that they use to socialize with friends, sometimes right along side videos OF their friends.

caseinmicelles.bsky.social•5 days ago

But that's something we as parents can also begin to counteract early, sharing media with them, watching what they watch, dissecting it, helping them think critically about the media they're engaging with when they're young so they've strengthened those muscles for when they're older.

valymonahan.bsky.social•4 days ago

Yes! Didn't really watch what our teen was viewing, on-line, but by then we had had lots of family tv/movie watching that included discussing racism/sexism/ableism/queer and trans-phobia. We also listened to national radio before dinner and yelled at some stories, in a very small house.

caseinmicelles.bsky.social•5 days ago

With my own kid, I don't force him to stick to strictly age-appropriate media now so we can start having those conversations when he's still comfortable with my presence and guidance instead of encountering the wide world of bullshit without mom or dad hanging over his shoulder.

caseinmicelles.bsky.social•5 days ago

Saying, "Oh, but their peers will be a bigger influence on them than parents," is true, but it makes the act sound passive.

YOUR CHILD WILL BE A FRIEND TO OTHERS AS WELL.

chuckwendig.bsky.social•5 days ago

Exactly right!

caseinmicelles.bsky.social•5 days ago

The way this information is framed often feels so passive and hopeless, like kids just get out of your control one day into a herd of friends who sweep them away. That takes agency away from parents AND kids.

chuckwendig.bsky.social•5 days ago

Bingo. You never really control them anyway! But there are so many good ways to teach and show and lead by example and then they carry that forward into the world. And you can always be there for them in times of turbulence to guide, even at a distance. Ideally!

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