[in the park] ME: aww look a baby WIFE: is it on me?! ME: um no it's in a stroll- WIFE: *swatting herself* I FEEL LIKE IT'S ON ME - ThreadSky

lukelukeluke.bsky.social • 566 days ago

[in the park]

ME: aww look a baby

WIFE: is it on me?!

ME: um no it's in a stroll-

WIFE: *swatting herself* I FEEL LIKE IT'S ON ME

Comments

tiredmegafauna.com•541 days ago

Are we married? Because this is absolutely me

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•541 days ago

*husband looks back at a wife that also looks different than he remembered, gets a headache, forgets what he had just been wondering about*

tiredmegafauna.com•541 days ago

Who am I anyways

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•541 days ago

“Atom by atom you return to the universe, atom by atom i join you”

maryscottoconnor.com•563 days ago

😂

Fucking love this.

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•563 days ago

Ty 🫶 it’s based on real

maryscottoconnor.com•563 days ago

I said something quite like it about nature.

"I don't like being outside. I keep getting NATURE all over me."

rebeccaallen.bsky.social•563 days ago

🤣

88corbs.bsky.social•544 days ago

Is that how babies are made?

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•544 days ago

Usually

msvugraduate.bsky.social•411 days ago

I want all the babies on me. I can't get enough of them. Bury me in babies.
(Not when I'm dead. Now. Like dump a basket of babies on me. It would be better than hot towels from the dryer.)

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•411 days ago

Hell yeah Patricia live your dream

bornmiserable.bsky.social•437 days ago

[more babies crawl out of the woodwork]

WIFE: save yourself

YOU: ok

W: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I WAS TESTING YOU

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•437 days ago

You don’t have to be faster than the baby, just faster than your wife

bornmiserable.bsky.social•437 days ago

YOU: [safe from all babies] I'll always love you

WIFE: [being drowned by babies in the distance] ᵗ ʰ ᵃ ᵗ ᵐ ᵃ ᵏ ᵉ ˢ ᵒ ⁿ ᵉ. ᵒ ᶠ ᵘ ˢ

itsabbyyep.bsky.social•438 days ago

Are you a tater tot??

batkaren.bsky.social•437 days ago

I want to know too! Those brothers were the tits. Are you one of them?

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•437 days ago

Lol yes my brother Nick and I ran @thetits all those years ago

Hiii 👋

rebrafsim.bsky.social•437 days ago

Nice! This is one of my all-time favorites…

lukelukeluke.bsky.social•437 days ago

I appreciate that 😄 when I wrote it seven years ago neither myself or my wife ever wanted babies

But we changed our minds about a year ago and now we have one and we love her

This tweet is still true but in a different way now