I think those "the keyblade is a terrible weapon" people approach it from the wrong angle. It's not a sword, despite the name. It is in fact a magic club that you beat people with. It's more akin to a nail bat powered through sorcery
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Also it's made for striking ethereal beings that canonically can't be hit with non-magic weapons due to not being fully corporeal.
Source: beginning of Kingdom Hearts II whej Roxas tries to hit nobodies with a struggle bat
"The keyboard is a terrible weapon" is gonna sound real stupid when it morphs into a gun and blasts you with an energy beam. Good luck parrying that with your broadsword you schmuck
The true power of the keyblade is weilding it with both hands and interlocked fingers like you are holding the hand of a friend unlocking the powers of friendship, making it the ultimate weapon!
Well, one of those is more of a spellcasting keyblade with very short reach. One you're absolutely right on. And the first, well, that's more use for tearing yourself a new plot hole.
I don't mean these specifically, I mean in general - like, 'a stick with a sideways protrusion at the end' is actually a pretty common design in weapons (and tools), including war-picks, axes, warhammers. It concentrates entire force of your strike to a very small area. That can be devastating.
Also the most important rule of designing a fantasy weapon
Does it look really cool when being held or on someone's back?
Doesn't matter how it looks being swung. You can make that as flashy flashy as you want with special effects. It's gotta look cool when it's doing nothing.
They literally hand you a wooden sword and a bat in the "tutorial" segments of both Kingsom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts II respectively. This would be a completely different franchise were Sora had to contemplate the morality of killing the mold marines or the latex oopy goopy gang.
I think there's more too it than that as well. Technically it's not even really a weapon, so much as a conduit for light. Sometimes light just needs to be conducted into smacking a bitch.
So it's blade of light, that could be called an elegant weapon for a more civilized age, wielded by a magical chosen one against those who work for/in relation with the universal darkness?
Yeah like people literally summon it with the power of friendship and it makes funny noises and has a shape dependent on a little trinket you keep on you, I don't think that's a physical weapon that's a psychosomatic emanation, there are clearly different rules at play here.
It's a world of realms that you travel between, people's essence can be split to form Nobodies and Heartless, the main villain keeps taking new bodies(?).
Yet the weapon is what people get hung up on? Arguably the coolest part of the series too
It's less about the bonk stick, and more about applying it outside of the media it was written in. Like Monster Hunter stuff. That's also multiple violations on practical usage, but I'm still smacking that giant lizard with a giant exploding mechanical morphing weapon.
As with most fiction, these chats aren't saying "stop liking thing". It's just in their opinion ways to "improve" or point out what doesn't work if you wanted to keyblade in real life.
In which case, you just flip the guard 90 degrees. Job done.
It's a terrible weapon in the same way a magic wand is a terrible weapon. Like if I had a magic wand yeah it'd be shit, best I could do would be give somebody a splinter because magic isn't real. It's like saying a gun is a terrible weapon and disregarding the fact you can load it with bullets.
"keyblade is a terrible weapon" oh sorry, can your hyper optimised poleaxe shoot fire out of it's tip?? Can it strike raid? Can a zweihander really seal the keyholes?
Not to mention that one cutscene where sora dissapears his keyblade to get it out of a locked position and uses this to his advantage to instantly kill roxas, I don't think a halberd could do that
The first is a twist on a gunlance from Monster Hunter, the second is just the name of a technique that could be adapted upon, and the latter isn't tied to the weapons physicality, but to an effect it can do.
Oh, sorry, it's just my own head canon. No arguments will be accepted.
"how can they swing around a cumbersome weapon like that?" Magic. "Oh but the guard would be annoying because it prevents you from using it like a sword" not a sword, also, magic.
Conversely, I would like to see less magic in the way of opening doors. No spears of light from twenty feet away, more straightforward keyhole interaction. First you kill the unholy god of Wreck-It Ralph, then you walk up and watch those tumblers at work. The deadbolt is stuck, jiggle it a little.
honestly neither of those things bother me, but the free-dangling chain does. there’s no way sora hasn’t whacked himself in the face with that Mickey Mouse head while doing some kind of sick spin-flip Jedi move
Those people understand nothing. First of all, the only thing that matters is how whip-ass cool they are. Second of all: assessing it as if it should have the actual physics of a piece of metal in that shape is really ignoring the fact you can ride one like it was a rocket-skateboard.
Third of all: They are a conceptually wrought symbol-weapon with a permanent bond and connection to their wielder that bridges them into the control mechanism of a broken universe. Their ability to be used like a weapon may genuinely be based on the wielders intent see again WHIPS TOTAL ASS.
It's a one handed axe/pick/club (depending on specific keyblade) and not a sword - like any axe/pick/club it's a striking weapon clearly meant to concentrate all force at one point (blunt or sharp). The only unusual part is that in our world, axes/maces don't typically have guards, but that is...
...because they are not used for ritualized/sport fencing. Since keyblades ARE the "noble" weapon of the setting (rather than swords like in most cultures IRL), then protecting the users hand for fencing duels makes sense.
I have to be completely honest they are simply failing to understand that how effective JRPG weapons are is directly proportionate to how cool they look being swung around by the wielder's character model literally nothing else matters
Isn't Berserk, like, THE work that really popularized the concept of the Huge Fuckoff Signature Weapon in more fantastical fiction with a focus on combat, actually
also like keyblades literally have native abilities to help you Swing Them Better. My giant sorcery bat has a feature that gives me a buy one get one free deal on giving you concussions.
i'd say the same for a lot of fantasy swords out there. they look practical as a sword but they're more magical than a practical way of "solving" things
Considering later games started giving Keyblades forms that are better as weapons, I'm not sure how much of a problem the impracticality of the default form would even be. And that's not even mentioning how much Keyblades boost magical ability.
I remember somebody seeing it in KH3 and going "that's not a key, that's a length of pipe" and it's so true, Sora is out there breaking Heartless kneecaps
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Thinking of them as normal weapons is just reductive and silly
Source: beginning of Kingdom Hearts II whej Roxas tries to hit nobodies with a struggle bat
Dang, Key"blades" can just do everything-
I've seen people test 'headhunter axes' that are structured somewhat similarly and they were *devastating.*
Does it look really cool when being held or on someone's back?
Doesn't matter how it looks being swung. You can make that as flashy flashy as you want with special effects. It's gotta look cool when it's doing nothing.
In short, is KH an unexplored Star Wars? :p
Yet the weapon is what people get hung up on? Arguably the coolest part of the series too
In which case, you just flip the guard 90 degrees. Job done.
Stances nothing, it's one of the most flexible tools you can ask for and that's before getting into all the magical bs it lets you do
Oh, sorry, it's just my own head canon. No arguments will be accepted.
Having fun, yet?
It's a piece of fiction. It can do whatever the hell we want it to do.
keyBLADE
these bad boys
Similar to a spirit blade... Or a Shwartz from spaceballs.
Regardless, just because it's impractical in real life, doesn't mean you "have to stop liking that thing".
You can ignore it. Just as I ignore it clipping through Sora's hand.
Everything else is pointless arguing over personal preference.