networking for friends, mentors, jobs… i think having social media etiquette is SUPER important, and truly possibly my top pieces of advice are: don’t be a reply guy and don’t debate with people about their opinions - ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

heartimecia.bsky.social • 5 days ago

networking for friends, mentors, jobs… i think having social media etiquette is SUPER important, and truly possibly my top pieces of advice are: don’t be a reply guy and don’t debate with people about their opinions

Reposted from Natalie 🔜 GDC

i am begging more people who want to get into the industry or get a certain role to stop being reply guys. it is like one of THE top ways to do the opposite of endearing you to people. i see it happen all the time and i just want to gently pull ppl (usually men) aside and be like……. No

Comments

thetrin.bsky.social•5 days ago

I'm amazed that so many people think they can say things with impunity online and not have that backfire on them in the worst ways. I agree wholeheartedly with you. Your social media activity is part of how people see you!

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

considering how important social media is when it comes to finding work and forming bonds with some great people, I wish more people had better self awareness!

vben.bsky.social•5 days ago

DISAGREE and here is why

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

SDFGJKKF 😭

sam.robotsfightingdinosaurs.com•5 days ago

EXACTLY

austinmwav.com•5 days ago

i have told so many people that it is more important to make friends in your industry that you can grow together with, rather than getting on the radar of the “right” people

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

I’ve networked both vertically and horizontally, but mostly horizontally and always just with people I genuinely like. Works like a charm!

annacwebs.bsky.social•5 days ago

1000% this

diegoarguello.bsky.social•5 days ago

people out there embarrassing themselves when the one infallible way of getting our attention is with a simple "great work on this!"

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

yeah my social media etiquette basically boils down to:
-don't be a reply guy
-don't debate with people's harmless opinions
-when you genuinely like someone's work, tell them (don't fake it)
-post some opinions to give people an idea of who u are/ur principles
-don't be overfamiliar
-don't be rude

diegoarguello.bsky.social•5 days ago

100% agree on all of these, especially being genuine (so easy to tell when people aren't) and not being overfamiliar (it's incredibly annoying, and something i constantly see from people toward you)

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

it's definitely worse if ur a woman FKJFDJKFGD like wait... ur not my friend... why are u calling me Nat...

hownottodraw.bsky.social•5 days ago

YES! this was basically all the points in a talk I did about "how to contact press as a game dev"

I wish the advice wasn't just "be normal omg what are you doing we're just people" but there you go 🙃

diegoarguello.bsky.social•5 days ago

"you shouldn't be dm'ing me at 9pm on a sunday"

hownottodraw.bsky.social•5 days ago

"why are you sending me an unsolicited pitch for your game in a reply to a joke I made about sausages"

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

yeah idk like to me this is all common sense but some people do be on the internet not knowing how to act 😭 without having the excuse of being like... old people who don't know how the internet fundamentally works

hownottodraw.bsky.social•5 days ago

I think a lot of it is thinking of press as non-people who automatically turn press releases into news stories 🥲

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

unless their opinion is that yennefer of vengerberg or judy alvarez suck. in which case, i WILL debate,

vampfiend3.bsky.social•5 days ago

Naw at that point they are stuck in their ways might as well cut them off and let them find 9ut the hard way

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

ok real. I have never encountered such a person but if I do… Mark My Words….

vampfiend3.bsky.social•5 days ago

Oh I agree but arguing with them is like a brick wall and I give more credit to the wall lol

annacwebs.bsky.social•5 days ago

There’s also the weirdly common: your studio/project/work sucks, you should hire me. Like????

silvarils.bsky.social•5 days ago

I get this on linkedin.....all the time......

lootthehounds.bsky.social•5 days ago

“Here, I made it better with this Terms-violating add-on and released it to the community, hire me.”

No?

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

oh that goes from “deeply socially unaware” to “what the fuck excuse me” SO fast

annacwebs.bsky.social•5 days ago

I’ve seen it many times and it is deeply strange

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

I have not had it happen to me but I have Seen it happen to friends and it gives insanity every time

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

I haven't seen this one as much as I have seen people spreading doom about the industry in what should be a thread of support or congratulations.

Like, I have seen a few indies post their completed game, and there were a few posts talking about how to not get their hopes up and stuff.

abeewords.bsky.social•5 days ago

One time I met a dude in real life and he just did not introduce himself or say his name because I guess he just assumed I would know it was Shmark from my menchies

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

some men just have no social skills whatsoever which is like….. okay! i will go hang out over there… with people who know how to socialize at least semi-properly…

vampfiend3.bsky.social•5 days ago

I'm also trying to network and make friends bluesky has been great tbh met more actual friends than the we shall not name platform

patrickdane.bsky.social•5 days ago

I definitely unlearned being a reply guy in my early years. This was way back in like 2014-2015 but I think for a time I was looking for validation from peers that I belonged so I tried to engage with everyone. I just learned to invest in the connections I have, which has been much more fulfilling.

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

yeah i think this is at the core of a lot of reply guys! it's a lot of what i see. relationships just can't be forced and i think more men need to be aware of that + consider boundaries and soft "no"s

patrickdane.bsky.social•5 days ago

Yeah. I console myself that maybe my social anxiety makes me remember it worse than it was and a little in that it was at a time when everyone was still trying to figure out how to interact on Twitter - but for sure learned many lessons going from a guy in mentions to talking to people in real life.

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

for sure, i think definitely give yourself some grace given the circumstances — and especially since you felt like you improved later! socializing doesn’t come super naturally to me so i get it. :)

patrickdane.bsky.social•5 days ago

There's learning in those mistakes. Get distance to be self-aware, and try to make deeper connections with fewer people. I think that is good professional advice for anyone in any field - but especially men.

easbygames.bsky.social•5 days ago

Well actually I think that the best way to network is (1/56)

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

I am still learning about all the etiquette and terminology regarding social media. Most I ever done is reddit which is basically like a forum board (or at least in feel).

Is a reply guy the person who just trolls in replies by being openly antagonistic to GET replies?

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

nah! a reply guy is someone who replies to every post someone makes. it just becomes very off-putting because not everything needs a response and it comes across way too strongly. connections are meant to grow organically, without forcing stuff through a torrent of interactions.

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

Oh! Oh oh!

I might indirectly have done this without realizing. I just like talking to people so anytime I see something cool or I want to say hi or whatever, I swing by. I thought it was considered a good thing to do because of how bluesky works. I didn't realize that could be construed as bm!

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

i think engaging in conversation is good!! being friendly and personable and open to talking is a really nice trait!! i think it only becomes off-putting if a person replies to almost everything someone else replies. like, u gotta let them breathe on social media, u know?

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

No, I definitely agree, but I do get self conscious sometimes cause I see no one is engaging with someone and it breaks my heart so I want to at least talk. Sort of a no one left behind sort of deal. Then I wonder "well, maybe there was a reason" so I get all in my head about it.

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

that is really kind of you!!

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

But just to clarify, that isn't me saying I make it a point that I respond to everyone's post single-handedly or anything. I "do" discover feed and following feed surf to check on folks and speak to them that way. It's a tricky thing though! Definitely.

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

In the off chance I have done that, I do apologize! I mean granted, I don't respond to EVERYTHING, but I do talk a lot on here.

I will keep that in mind going forward, but thanks for letting me know! I don't really have anyone to bounce questions off, so I am learning as I go.

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

no apologies necessary, i haven't gotten that from you at all!

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

I appreciate it! No one approached me about it (otherwise I would stop), but I definitely don't want to make this about me. But I "do" post a lot sooo, just wanted to check in on that.

...Gives me an idea for a status though. Thanks!

drseda.bsky.social•5 days ago

I sometimes also have this concern, so you're not alone. I like genuinely interacting with people but I hope I'm not being annoying lol

heartimecia.bsky.social•5 days ago

(not at all!)

luchalutra.bsky.social•5 days ago

No, it was very clear with how she defined it. As an example, it would be like if Brad Pitt was on here, and you decided to take to replying to every single post they made. and I do mean, EVERY single post.

It is bad etiquette b/c, you know brad pitt is huge, and you aren't letting him breathe.

squiblon.bsky.social•5 days ago