As someone who actually writes TV listings for a living, this cracked me up. Schedules are released tomorrow and it's our busiest night of the whole year.
Thank you Sooz. This is why I endure your 200 random posts a day. This and Boris (your Boris, not the fat, fluffy one who got prosecuted when he was spreading Covid).
DEC 18TH-20TH: Single page format per day. Good stuff in Eastenders as we approach the big day. Randomly a Rising Damp Christmas special airs. Pointless Celebrities Christmas Special FROM LAST YEAR also features.
DEC 21ST: Still single page format. The soaps are really amping up, probably cutting down to just one PROPER INSANE storyline now. THIS year’s Pointless Celebrities Christmas Special airs.
DEC 22ND: Double page format per day FINALLY. Eastenders is OFF THE CHAIN INCREDIBLE by now, like season 4 of Breaking Bad. BBC1 shows Cars 2 but who gives a shit.
CHRISTMAS EVE EVE: Double page format. Eastenders like EVERY season finale of Breaking Bad, Mad Men, 24 and The Wire. Channel 4 shows Elf and everyone goes BERSERK on the socials even though they all own it on DVD (derogatory). BBC2 shows Die Hard which CRASHES Edgelord BlueSky (complimentary).
CHRISTMAS EVE: QUADRUPLE PAGE FORMAT. Flog It is STILL on like it's just some weekday in April or some shit WTF! A repeat of Nigella, a Victoria Wood compilation and EASTENDERS IS LIKE MAD MAX FURY ROAD CROSSED WITH CITIZEN KANE.
CHRISTMAS DAY: You've got the Pixar-Doctor Who-Call the Midwife-EastEnders quadfecta and it's across eight fucking pages. You've got sick coming up but you can't look away and the Radio Times knows it. EastEnders makes your TV explode like the Trinity Test sequence in Oppenheimer.
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