I made the comment to my bil that parents aren't the sole influence on their children, and how they turn out (especially once the children are adults) and he got so mad. He said if he tells his kids who they have to be, they have to be that for the rest of their lives, even once he's dead
I got news for ya. You can raise your kid in a hermetically sealed envelope, and the world will still raise it's stupid ugly head to influence them.
Best Wishes.
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Another way of thinking of this is to be one of the major forces in your child's life. There is no eliminating the other forces, just adding your force and not abdicating the responsibility.
This! I see parents throwing up their hands re: phones like they’re not the ones who buy & allow their use. My child didn’t keep hers in her room overnight. She wasn’t on social media until she was 17. We had fights over it but we talked about why. She’s now an adult & thanks me for the limits.
I love raising my children! The best part is affirming their gender identities! Who cares what they want to be! My oldest says she is an artic fox so I bought her the fox ears and she's wears them to school! The other kids make fun of her for it but that's okay because she's being true to herself!
Keep talking to your children, even if you think they're not listening, talk, not screaming or yelling, they are listening. Ages especially thru 10 to 12 years old are super important. The creation of their foundation for the rest of their life.🦋
In addition to talking, we need to listen to kids. It was one of the hardest lessons I learned as a parent, esp when my child had a problem I knew I could solve if she would just do what I advised. I learned if I asked what she thought, she’d often figure it out on her own.
But esp in the tween years (which were the hardest IMO), if you just tell them what to do, they will tune you out. Even when they try to push you away, you have to hang in there because they need you.
And being the “bad guy” who says “no phones at dinner” as soon as they get a phone will get you eye rolls, but you’re not doing your job as a parent correctly if they don’t roll their eyes regularly and loudly at you.
What I wrote prepares parent and child for the tween/teen years as part of a basis for a success. For over 10 years worked managing, and modeling positive behaviors for tween/teen kids remanded by family court to juvenile secure detention facilities.
You get about 8-10 years to instill basic, core values like decency, compassion, intellectual curiosity, self-respect and inner strength, then they're gonna go off and be more influenced by their peer group.
Every parent should try to make those years count.
Every moment with your child is an opportunity to shape their future. They’re watching, learning, and growing through the values we show them every day. Be present and involved in their lives, not just for big events, but for the little things too.
My truth about raising children; it was my job was to socialize them so they could function in society or others would and they wouldn't do it with love!
Make them strong, resilient, confident, critical and feisty. Non compliance and resistance. That’s what society needs in future. If they understand that it’s not about money, we all won. That’s how I was raised and that’s how I’m raising my son.
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Best Wishes.
Are the same that raise children
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Kids are really adaptive and impressionable, thats because their brains are still growing.
Damn if it doesn't build some resilience, though.
(Big shout out to all the children of divorce. We got this.)
You get about 8-10 years to instill basic, core values like decency, compassion, intellectual curiosity, self-respect and inner strength, then they're gonna go off and be more influenced by their peer group.
Every parent should try to make those years count.