Did that lemonade stop killing people or did we just give up on it like with most of our public health infrastructure? - ThreadSky

joshgondelman.bsky.social • 419 days ago

Did that lemonade stop killing people or did we just give up on it like with most of our public health infrastructure?

Comments

mtnsnark.bsky.social•419 days ago

I can only thoughts and prayers so hard Josh!

russbengtson.bsky.social•419 days ago

pretty sure boeing bought all of it to serve exclusively on 737 Max 9s

joshgondelman.bsky.social•419 days ago

Let’s roll the dice, baby!!!

russbengtson.bsky.social•419 days ago

"it'll blow your doors off!"

musicboxonline.bsky.social•419 days ago

America: Where we make it harder to buy lemonade and easier to get a gun.

slinkingflorist.bsky.social•419 days ago

Everybody knows you can only drink it with a mullet and cut off jeans now so it's fine

88corbs.bsky.social•419 days ago

Turns out, it only kills people who were still looking into the Panama Papers.

88corbs.bsky.social•419 days ago

The Panera-Panama connection.

tedcruzinusa.bsky.social•419 days ago

It’s actually just the Panera Papers. The connection was bad on the phone.

amdo.bsky.social•419 days ago

that lemonade is going to have to kidnap a senator’s daughter before anything is done about it

raccoonmoose.bsky.social•419 days ago

You can get the murder lemonade by the half gallon! It does have a little disclaimer at the top

thefienprint.bsky.social•419 days ago

I think folks just made the best of it.

“When life gives you heart attack lemonade…” and whatnot.

japple323.bsky.social•419 days ago

They actually made a vaccine for it, but people won’t take it because it’s full of microchips.

joi-itos-jibo.bsky.social•419 days ago

It's like the water in Flint, it was fixed long ago but everyone loves to doom

vgcatano.bsky.social•419 days ago

Panera actually just put it behind the counter, so you can no longer pour yourself endless refills of turbo caffeinated death juice.
So the metaphor still holds.

bigfatbartolocolon.bsky.social•419 days ago

it only harms the immuno-compromised so it doesn't count

mxowl.bsky.social•419 days ago

They posted a sign I think

kevinseesghosts.bsky.social•419 days ago

don’t wanna brag but i drank two and now i have the ability to see sound

tedcruzinusa.bsky.social•419 days ago

Jokes on you , I drank 4 and now I can Ruth’s Chris

justinalevine.bsky.social•419 days ago

Yes.

burghpunk.bsky.social•419 days ago

It’s out there silencing the critics and cowing everyone into submission

dinfontay.com•419 days ago

let the market work its magic josh

karlrolson.com•419 days ago

they put a warning on it, so clearly, that's working. it's not just that it fell off the news cycle, no.

amandabf.bsky.social•419 days ago

It's gone quiet so the FBIs Behavioral Science division is forming a task force. It feels as it will strike again with the next full moon.

richterscale.bsky.social•419 days ago

we can't go on living in fear of the deadly lemonade!

misterjayem.bsky.social•419 days ago

It's behind the counter with the cigarettes and Sudafed.

i-rohl.bsky.social•405 days ago

This seems like a reasonable remedy? Like, qua beverage, this stuff didn't have an especially outlandish units-caffeine-per-unit-volume figure. The issue was that it was too easy for people to not realize/understand what they were getting.

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