His sailors dying of scurvy and his ship hopelessly off course, Cap'n Crunch sits in the galley eating another bowl of cereal - ThreadSky

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viktorwinetrout.bsky.social • 2 days ago

His sailors dying of scurvy and his ship hopelessly off course, Cap'n Crunch sits in the galley eating another bowl of cereal

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o-ouroborus-o.bsky.social•2 days ago

Milk dribbling down his nude body, the Cap'n gazes mournfully at the bloody corpse of Count Chocula on the bed. "You were right," he whispers. "Froot Loops don't contain vitamin C."

bensmom33.bsky.social•2 days ago

"Aye, perhaps I was too hasty in rejecting the Quartermaster's suggestion to add berries."

mesugo.bsky.social•2 days ago

He can't give orders because the roof of his mouth is all cut up.

nilbog3000.bsky.social•2 days ago

…as the effects of diabetes ravage his frail body

jeffabbott.bsky.social•2 days ago

uh he just has to follow the maze on the back of the cereal box, all will be fine

viktorwinetrout.bsky.social•2 days ago

Jeff, his sailors are dying of scurvy

jeffabbott.bsky.social•2 days ago

not for long

viktorwinetrout.bsky.social•2 days ago

"orange creampop crunch"? i would rather die of scurvy

jeffabbott.bsky.social•2 days ago

your choice Viktor Loosetooth

writingdcm.bsky.social•2 days ago

💀🤣🏆 yo ho ho GODDAMMIT another piece of cereal in my gums

thatbrentonguy.bsky.social•2 days ago

His dead-eyed smile never wavers. The crew are too terrified to attempt mutiny

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