I used to oscillate between feeling unattractive and feeling like all people cared about was my looks bc of being hypersexualized. It was v confusing 😵💫
No. I was bullied bad by black men unfortunately and it was even worse online. Tumblr actually boosted my confidence because I never thought anyone could be attracted to me.
LMAOOOOO Nah...I grew up wit all girls so I've been used to being called Fugly since 3yrs old 😂😂😂 I blame my #Hoe years on them 💯 A girl coulda looked like a Wildebeest...if she thought I wasn't fugly..I was in Lub🤷🏽♂️ #childhoodtrauma
All I have to say is I lived in Italy in the early 2000 and late nineties.
I’d say only for the past 2 years I’ve been really feeling myself like that. Took a long time to heal
Nah… my gap always made me self-conscious and I weighed like 100lbs dripping wet 😅 My parents always complimented me but I was in my early 20s when I started to believe them
Not until I got with my first girlfriend after high-school. I was punching above my weight class and joked about it. "I don't date ugly people." Those words changed my entire thought process.
no because my family was my first bullies 😭 they made me think a lot of my afro features were ugly & made fun of my weight all the time. I was like 120 pounds thinkin i was the size of a whale 💀
not really, probably not until my senior year of high school on. I had never really received any romantic validation until I got to college, so I internalized that something was wrong with the way I looked. glad I did a lot of inner work unpacking that though 💗💗💗
Yeah. I always ranked myself as good-looking/handsome but overall “Cute”. I never inflated my head though. It was more about self-awareness and how I analyzed physical appearance.
Not at all. Had to learn to love the skin I’m in 😩. Growing up darker skinned was really not the wave in the 90s/early 2000s and really didn’t start feeling appreciated until college
Nah, I was told I’m “build like a white man” whatever tf that means. & funny lookin as well. . . Tbh, I still think I’m funny looking. But I’m working on it. . . 😔
Hell if I know. But between all that and being constantly told I was adopted and that’s why I didn’t fit in w the family, I’ve been gathering my confidence as I grow. And they’ve learned to respect me as well. FAFO kicked in around 10th grade. They left me alone after that.
Those prepubescent years were not good. Some time after puberty there was attention I didn’t recognize. But by college I knew what I was working with and flaunted it.
Nah. I had frizzy, poofy hair, couldn’t afford trendy clothes, and was easily the tallest kid in class until the boys started hitting puberty. Stood out like a sore thumb.
From the neck up. Hell yeah! I give good face, no matter my size my jawline is snatched and cheekbones popping.
Neck down tho, no. Frankly I still don't. I have come to accept that I can fix little things but I have too many health issues and negative amounts of ass to really change that.
damn, i was always the nerd in the crew, but I was young gifted beautiful and Black. Was definitely called lame cause of my fashion, I was always ahead of the curve so a year after being called lame they be wearing what I was wearing but now I was on some next shit, loved growing up in Harlem
Definitely not, and looking back on photos, I don't think I managed to approach anything less than hideous until I was 19. Photos suggest I managed to be passable until my late 30s, after which it's all gone downhill again. But even those pics I think are decent, at the time I definitely didn't.
I had a collection of brown-skinned Barbie dolls and one of those head-to-shoulder dolls that you comb her hair, courtesy of my light-skinned mom. I also had a Creole great great aunt who called me her "chocolate cupcake." I think those two went out if their way to make sure I had self-love.
Nope and it’s something I battle with to this day. I take a picture maybe twice a year. But from age 11 - 16 a picture of me quite literally doesn’t exist….
Yea… my mom and aunts all told me how handsome and good looking I was… and I remember that striking fear me, because I saw how grown men treat beautiful things.
Not at all, I didn't feel pretty and my peers didn't help either. I think when I finally realised I can be pretty was around Senior year in Highschool/Secondary School. 😭😭
Nope, still don’t think I am to a large degree. It’s not that important overall to my life goals of being a better person so it’s not something that I’ve ever focused that much on 🤷♀️
No. Granted, I never felt too much like I was ugly. I was just... There's always been a face in the mirror, and I couldn't rightly say anything in particular was wrong with it, it was simply never 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚.
I was/am overweight, and don't like it, but far fatter fuckers than I have pulled, so...
Not at all. And it's not that I thought I was ugly, I was just very unaware of myself in that aspect. As of now, my perception of myself is up and down, and I'm working on finding a consistency.
No. My mom went out of her way to keep us humble and sheltered in the 70s & 80s.
Many men (and an uncle or 2) were creeps, but I thought all girls were ogled and propositioned constantly.
It wasn’t until I was married and moved out of Texas that I realized I was slightly attractive, perhaps.
I grew up being told I wasn't, and just assumed no one would ever find me attractive. So imagine my surprise when someone first told me they found me attractive at age 19. Alas, growing up with self-doubt led me to unintentionally sabotage that relationship.
Yes and kinda no. I have an Irish twin. Both born in 87’. I’m clearly brown skinned, whereas she’s light skinned. I felt that (and it was so vividly highlighted by a former gf of ours every time we went out) she got more “attention” BECAUSE she was light skinned. I felt cute, but not as cute as…
I grew up around white people and then went overseas with people having similar skin complexion saying stuff like that and now currently as an adult so it's kind of a loss.
Nah. I felt like people often had their ‘he’s cute!’ convos behind my back. 😭 Rarely did anyone say it to me directly, and that changed from high school on forward. Now? I don’t sell myself short! 🤣
Nope! I thought I was fat and “look like a boy“. Plus, I was a teen before Sir Mix-a-Lot made big butt appreciation a thing and was teased mercilessly about the size of my derrière.
oh hell yes. it took me into my 30s to realize the doors opened and opportunities afforded me because I was cute. still trying to reconcile that. now I'm old & fat and things aren't easy...but I remember, so I'm kinder now.
dealt with haters as much for my brains as my looks, growing up, though.
I'm 61 years old. whatever privilege I have, I've earned by now. I have pangs of pretty guilt sometimes based on my past lives, but to know me now, I'm invisible to many. an old lady with a walker with impeccable taste in streetwear and a face aged by pain..but still smiling.
Yes, but not because of people approaching me or anything. I built my self-respect and self-admiration brick by brick. It was hard work, but now so it tearing me down.
I was bullied for being tall but I thought I was pretty. Overall my self esteem fluctuated a lot but by sophomore year in high school you couldn’t tell me nothing
Issues with body confidence stemmed when I was a kid; in particular, something my Mom would say. If I tried on a shirt, and if it was too snug, she'd ask I suck in my stomach. She'd then audibly gasp & go on about how good I would've looked.
No. My parents made sure to tell me bur black kids and teens around me made sure to let me know I wasn’t 😃.
THEN when I realized I was attractive I found out that generally positive non physical traits about myself were ALSO unattractive to black teens. The real Fine ones to . It hurt to know
I grew up being told things like “as long as you’re smart it doesn’t matter what people think” by my dad and “you’re so ugly nobody will ever like you, you should just kys” by my best friend. I was stuck in an ugly duckling phase for a very long time
Yes she was very insecure herself and took it out on people in very disturbing ways. We haven’t spoken in like 15 years, once I finally realized that I cant emotionally afford to have a “friend” like her anyway. Beautiful girl, soul needed some help!
Not until high school. Being husky and dark-skinned pre-Wesley Snipes era was rough. After "New Jack City" came out in 91, I learned to leverage my skin tone, height and now deeper voice. By the time I hit college, girls were lining up to violate me.
No. I thought I was ugly. I was a tall girl, 5'8, quiet and observant, and so insecure. I didn't stop wearing a ponytail until 30. My self-esteem was shattered. I didn't begin to recover from my childhood until I went into rehab for the drinking I relied on to make everything alright
Nope. In fact I never felt any kind of confidence until 5 years after I got sober at age 35. I’m not making any huge claims, but I can look back now and see the missed opportunities (and I mean not dating at all in HS or into my 20’s) solely due to my lack of confidence.
I don't think that even now despite people trying to tell me that I am.
the song "Workin on It" with Meghan Trainor, Lennon Stella and Sasha Alex Sloan is my anthem while dating so I don't ruin it while disbelieving them. 😂
Nah...I grow up in the era where dark skinned was NOT in. I used to hear them all the time. So never got the sense that people (girls) thought I was handsome.
Be overboard about telling them how beautiful they are and what about them is beautiful. Compliment EVERYTHING ! “Great decision on the nail color, so pretty !” type shit over “beautiful nails” to affirm their minds equally and not just their looks 🫶🏼
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Outside of family, I got picked on for my chin a whole lot. Now I kind of like it cuz my youngest has it.
I’d say only for the past 2 years I’ve been really feeling myself like that. Took a long time to heal
#RealityComedy
I’m not for everybody.
Everyone else thought….. otherwise🥴
Neck down tho, no. Frankly I still don't. I have come to accept that I can fix little things but I have too many health issues and negative amounts of ass to really change that.
No
https://getdewey.co/bluesky/
Hey Siri, play Hunted by Childish Gambino.
https://youtu.be/w4QuavOSPaA?si=YRtLogbBAOEFu2Vs
I was/am overweight, and don't like it, but far fatter fuckers than I have pulled, so...
Not until high school, and then I became a complete bitch because of it
Many men (and an uncle or 2) were creeps, but I thought all girls were ogled and propositioned constantly.
It wasn’t until I was married and moved out of Texas that I realized I was slightly attractive, perhaps.
I didnt care too much until high
School lol
dealt with haters as much for my brains as my looks, growing up, though.
I'm 61 years old. whatever privilege I have, I've earned by now. I have pangs of pretty guilt sometimes based on my past lives, but to know me now, I'm invisible to many. an old lady with a walker with impeccable taste in streetwear and a face aged by pain..but still smiling.
I am smart and tough and determined and that doesn't go away with age, so I've got that going for me.
Issues with body confidence stemmed when I was a kid; in particular, something my Mom would say. If I tried on a shirt, and if it was too snug, she'd ask I suck in my stomach. She'd then audibly gasp & go on about how good I would've looked.
As if my body, as it was, wasn't good enough
I was a late bloomer 🤣
THEN when I realized I was attractive I found out that generally positive non physical traits about myself were ALSO unattractive to black teens. The real Fine ones to . It hurt to know
I decided to focus on poetry and performing music on stage, which got me noticed.
In college, things changed dramatically. I'll share one of the tales.
http://zootsblogspot.com/2024/03/01/now-hiring-woman-with-a-heart/
the song "Workin on It" with Meghan Trainor, Lennon Stella and Sasha Alex Sloan is my anthem while dating so I don't ruin it while disbelieving them. 😂
them “pretty girl” but I also call my students this.