Autistic kids are so resilient, yet they perpetually get told they're not resilient enough. If people understood what they were managing, they'd soon stop being so ignorant. - ThreadSky

petewharmby.com • 96 days ago

Autistic kids are so resilient, yet they perpetually get told they're not resilient enough.

If people understood what they were managing, they'd soon stop being so ignorant.

Comments

sideroom.bsky.social•96 days ago

Yes we have to manage not only what "neurotyps" think of us but how they treat us, we are definitely resilient but also wary of non-safe people, so a lot goin' on ( just to do normal things like travelling on a train to work like I am now )

jeronimobrat.bsky.social•95 days ago

This is the truth… you really have to get inside their heads and rationalize a lot of their outlandish behavioral patterns but still admire how smart they are. My son is on the spectrum yet so very smart for a 2 year old.

laineyg.bsky.social•95 days ago

Not always. One youngster I know is extremely sensitive. Generally a happy young person but it someone has a go, it really affects them.

petewharmby.com•95 days ago

Are they managing to go to school? If so, they're more resilient than most as school can be hell for most autistic children

the-alchemist-01.bsky.social•96 days ago

https://bsky.app/profile/the-alchemist-01.bsky.social/post/3lbpnke5zps2d

happiestwabook.bsky.social•96 days ago

Absolutely agree-actually just been reading an article on this theme. https://bsky.app/profile/happiestwabook.bsky.social/post/3lbppmtr7tc2d

petewharmby.com•96 days ago

Managing sensory and communicative differences, social differences, being alienated and othered, managing the translative effort of masking - it's incredible resilience.

st1cky-p3anut-man.bsky.social•85 days ago

Being resilient is harder than it looks, and sometimes it isn't even resilience, it's just being used to it happening.

autistj3nnifer.bsky.social•95 days ago

It’s that whole, “damned if we do, and damned if we don’t” culture. The unfortunate circumstance is that autistic people are prone to this type of treatment, and that it’s practically unavoidable.

gemsfs.bsky.social•96 days ago

This is my sons experience,constantly trying to build resilience when he's already the most resilient person i know

evenicholls.bsky.social•96 days ago

I mean, we tend to end up with CPTSD though?

petewharmby.com•96 days ago

Well yeah, I'm not saying it's great, just that efforts to 'encourage' more resilience in autistic people causes even more cptsd

petewharmby.com•96 days ago

I've been talking about the trauma autistic people suffer from for years

evenicholls.bsky.social•96 days ago

Could you explain about the encouraging resilience thing? Did you mean for the people who are diagnosed autistic in childhood, or the ones where it isn't recognised?

I kept going until I burned out and became physically disabled, severely and permanently. At 19. Hard to think of that as resilience.

petewharmby.com•96 days ago

Diagnosed and undiagnosed autistic people might be pressured into being more 'resilient' due to a perceived (but wrong) impression of not being resilient, which damages us even more - demanding further resilience from people already forced to be (and displaying damage from) extremely resilient.

bloodcovenant.bsky.social•95 days ago

thisss!

power2thepeople.bsky.social•96 days ago

💯. Those who face great adversity are some of the strongest people in the world.

claretarling.bsky.social•95 days ago

It’s the systems and organisations who are supposed to be supporting kids who need to be more “resilient”.

metaphora42.bsky.social•95 days ago

Sounds like ableist people saying: "This situation is not overwhelming for ME, so just stop complaining & get used to it! (So I don't have to change to accomodate your needs or feel guilty about it.)"

brattykat.bsky.social•95 days ago

Ppl say kids are resilient, but then why is everyone messed up from their childhood?

Just cuz kids seem to shake it off in the moment don’t mean it won’t have effects decades later

undefinedopco.de•96 days ago

100%

Also, glad to see you made it over here!

effeneffervescent.bsky.social•96 days ago

My little 3 year old impressed me and inspires me every day with her resiliency and determination to grow.

emmargh.bsky.social•95 days ago

Advocating for my son has truly highlighted this. The challenges he’s faced over the past year have been both traumatising and disheartening. Yet, he consistently shows courage and determination, holding onto hope for better opportunities, only to be told he lacks resilience and needs to try harder

sanslibrearbitre.bsky.social•95 days ago

Unfortunately for many of us its invisible, add to that being able to hold a conversation for any length of time and people are quick to discount any struggle you're having cause we're all struggling right?

phoenixshield.bsky.social•96 days ago

"Spend a day in my shoes, you'll never treat me that way again." I know what you mean, but a lot of people don't seem to care enough to ask "are you OK?" better to focus on yourself, and not what those around you think is something I try to follow everyday.

lyrasatya.bsky.social•95 days ago

Inspiringly resilient. My son is on the spectrum.

inalienable.bsky.social•96 days ago

They also compromise so much to comply with rigid NT rules, and then when they struggle they are told to be more flexible. 😔

ronin420.bsky.social•96 days ago

Some of those kids "manage" until they're in their 50s, then everything falls apart and they burn out. Hello. I am one of those kids.

carotomes.bsky.social•96 days ago

Definitely. It’s what I’ve been reflecting on as a late-discovered autistic adult - just how much effort I put in to fit in / to be understood / to manage expectations vs allistics.

lokiriffic.bsky.social•95 days ago

Even for those of us who're high masking, neurotypicals can just tell we're different. I don't understand it and probably never will. We're just trying to exist atp because clearly rfk wants us erased from humanity.

tseikkis.bsky.social•95 days ago

We need a social anxiety simulator lol. I think the underlying problem here is general; we all compare to self. If someone is very different, many STILL do that even if they knew. I have people who've known me for 20 years still read hidden meanings into my sentences. It's hard even if you know.

jennyinbaltimore.bsky.social•96 days ago

I make an effort every day to distinguish between respecting my daughter’s uniqueness and helping her resist screaming when something goes wrong. I pray that one day she will remember her childhood with joy, and that she will forgive us our ignorance when we tried to “cure” her.

genestarwind.bsky.social•96 days ago

We had to be. It's not like many of us had a choice to do otherwise....
Certain types of Autism are a hell of a lot easier to diagnose now, than when I was a kid. I wasn't properly diagnosed until I was 42.

ndrichter.bsky.social•95 days ago

Even after my diagnosis I must always contend with the fact that my symptoms are widely considered personality flaws I must correct or else be considered living in bad faith and being of low moral character.

I do not think I will live to see the day I will be able to be mask off and truly free

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