Metroid Prime has the funniest lore drop where a log reveals the space pirates can’t for the love of god figure out how Samus’s morph ball works and every time they try to replicate it they crush themselves. I dunno why but I find that really funny
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Another great tidbit is the excerpts about how spooky Prime is, when it instantly adopts the space pirates weaponry onto itself, integrating it all biomechanically
Honestly with the stuff in the space pirate logs, i was Honestly surprised there wasn't one that said.
"I'm done with this pirate business. I'm getting on the next transport out of here and going to start a ramen shop on some back alley world away from pain, stupidity, and armored bounty hunters!"
Or the ones where they have to keep telling the workforce to stop fucking around with the metroids lol.
"Injury Report 07.200.07
Unit 686 released a Metroid for target practice today: the Metroid then assaulted 686. He should be regaining brain functions in a cycle."
👓: There's also the bit that's like "So it turns out the Hunter has been hacking our shit and reading our emails, we should encrypt our communications" and then you still read everything with no problems
The funniest thing about this is that the ball form of the morph suit is objectively bad, but only useful to Samus because the space pirates keep building convenient ball-sized tubes for her to travel in.
Only sometimes true: usually it's Chozo structures she's travelling through. Those make sense, because they made her Power Suit.
But it is weird that the Space Pirates still do it in their ships anyway, even though they've seen her go through Chozo tubes.
God I loved the lore in Metroid Prime, not just the space pirate logs, but those in particularly were great. I know some people disliked the scanning mechanic but I loved it, it really made me feel like an investigator piecing together what happened and added a lot to the setting.
In 'Metroid Prime 3: Corruption', the Pirates happen across Dark Samus and make a log about the phenomenon of having two Samus Arans running about. Near the bottom, it says
My favorite part is the log entry that's like "We won't stand for this! We will NOT be under the thumb of Dark Samus any longer! We shall FIGHT for our freedom!" and the very next entry begins with "We have seen the error of our ways."
telling the people who are getting mutated by the radioactive mutagen they're mining to report to the science team and mentioning that they can get a raise and increase in rations if their mutation is found to be useful
I can't help but imagine a bunch of space pirate rollie pollies zooming up to Samus in the phazon mines if they mastered that morph and it's making me laugh to much
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they just keep replacing chill with die horrifically
“Science Team has vapor for brains.”
Weevil being utterly insane because of the experimenting they did on him in pursuit of replicating Morph Ball tech.
Prime 3’s the only one without, but then it’s made up for with the Corrupted Pirates’ dark humor.
Also shoutout to the one Prime 2 wall scan where a Pirate says "yeah let's see how funny Command finds it when the fuckin toilets stop working"
https://metroid.fandom.com/wiki/Central_Mining_Station
"Latrine" is just a fancy word for toilet, basically.
"Horrific as it may sound, there are two of them now."
That's a classic. 🤣
Another great tidbit is the excerpts about how spooky Prime is, when it instantly adopts the space pirates weaponry onto itself, integrating it all biomechanically
Fantastic games, I'm overdue for a replay
"I'm done with this pirate business. I'm getting on the next transport out of here and going to start a ramen shop on some back alley world away from pain, stupidity, and armored bounty hunters!"
Meanwhile, Samus's ship is just parked right there in the open only a few rooms away from their crashed frigate.
"Injury Report 07.200.07
Unit 686 released a Metroid for target practice today: the Metroid then assaulted 686. He should be regaining brain functions in a cycle."
They all get squished, but stay alive.
But it is weird that the Space Pirates still do it in their ships anyway, even though they've seen her go through Chozo tubes.
“science team has vapor for brains”
“samus came to this planet with this weird dark suit, she’s just wrecking our shit”
“oh fuck there’s another”
"Surely, we are cursed."
is that literally the same gag from the opening of iron man 2
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ET8N7BGweCU