A wizard has to look Like That. Stop giving wizards sexy disheveled hair and stubble and a leather duster. If you want arcane wonders you need the stupid fucking hat. That's the tradeoff. - ThreadSky

voicesbyzane.bsky.social • 2 days ago

A wizard has to look Like That. Stop giving wizards sexy disheveled hair and stubble and a leather duster. If you want arcane wonders you need the stupid fucking hat. That's the tradeoff.

Reposted from Ordoalea Izdavaštvo✅

Admit your biggest "cringy" fantasy takes:

I like unrealistic swords.

Comments

jimblus.bsky.social•2 days ago

you need a knobbly old wooden staff that's at least as tall as you are, and it better have a crystal lodged in the top

vistu.bsky.social•2 days ago

A wizard needs to look like they can be airbrushed on the side of a van at all times no matter what

windlass.bsky.social•2 days ago

I entirely agree which is why I must also disappoint you in telling you that the wizard character in my novel is a reedy, thin elf with a sidelock. Forgive me.

drchaosnoir.bsky.social•2 days ago

Absolutely correct, no cheating with a hood either. You gotta have the big goofy hat.

stoffeloni.bsky.social•2 days ago

look I love Gale Baldursgate as much as the next guy but between him and Elminster I know which one of those is the capital W Wizard

biggestgal.bsky.social•2 days ago

Bro is basically the main character of the Forgotten Realms so it checks out.

stoffeloni.bsky.social•1 day ago

yeah from what I understand it's basically him and Volo, but in volos case it's derogatory

paintomphan.bsky.social•1 day ago

He's gonna get there eventually, his defining character trait is basically "wants to be just like Elminster when he grows up"

dmadhd.bsky.social•1 day ago

Goddamned right.

rinric.bsky.social•2 days ago

Okay consider all of that AND the stupid fucking hat?

cigarrett.bsky.social•2 days ago

The hat IS the magic. 😤

quilowisp.bsky.social•2 days ago

As long as they have The Hat a lot else can work.

wolfwraithpress.bsky.social•2 days ago

Normalize wizards that autistically forget to like, eat drink and shower. Because of the mysteries.

livingbodypillo.bsky.social•2 days ago

without the hat you just have a magic inclined madman or scholar, which is also cool but not a wizard

m00nton.bsky.social•2 days ago

And the dribbly candles! And the stuffed crocodile hanging from the ceiling!

Otherwise what's the damn point!

snaptrappress.bsky.social•2 days ago

Also: staff wizards are ALWAYS cooler than wand wizards. Wands are for losers, if you ain't got the staff you ain't gonna pass.

snaptrappress.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wizards who just use their hands are also way cooler than wand wizards. Dr. Strange and the like? All cool! Harry Potter? Lame as fuck!

feypatches.bsky.social•1 day ago

listen when final fantasy is sticking to its high fantasy roots and i see one of these mf walking around i know im home, you can tell how much a FF game is subverting from the fantasy genere based on how close they get to the OG black mage outfit

gavaroc.bsky.social•2 days ago

Counterpoint - Balthasar Gelt

voicesbyzane.bsky.social•2 days ago

The fuck you mean "counterpoint." Gelt is a prime example of a wizard who looks wizardly. The mask counts as the stupid hat. It's got pointy bits. Look at the collar.

gavaroc.bsky.social•2 days ago

If the mask counts, then great!

bilious.bsky.social•2 days ago

Stubble and fashionable jackets are for Warlocks. Wizards gotta have a dumb hat and silly robes and too many books!!

mistakrabs.bsky.social•2 days ago

I love the DnD take on the difference between types of magic users where Wizards are basically just big fuckin nerds who spend all their time reading books and memorizing things. They're the programmers of the magic world and dammit they should look the part!

evanmaplevo.com•2 days ago

this is why i need ENA: Dream BBQ to come out as fast as possible so i can see what the FUCK this dude's deal is

roxtob.bsky.social•2 days ago

they need to have a beard to contemplate with its non-negotiable

fearjunkie.bsky.social•2 days ago

I will not tolerate Harry Dresden slander /lh

waldobutterdf.bsky.social•2 days ago

That's half the fun

jetblackraider.itch.io•2 days ago

robes embroidered with stars and suns and moons

voicesbyzane.bsky.social•2 days ago

Also a big stupid staff with a big stupid thing on it

zosmel.bsky.social•2 days ago

The big thing on the staff and the pattern on the robes should be reflective of the magics available to the wizard

jetblackraider.itch.io•2 days ago

very important !

bjorning.bsky.social•2 days ago

A knob on the end, perhaps?

jetblackraider.itch.io•2 days ago

YES, it's got to be slightly goofy

thelimeofdoom.bsky.social•2 days ago

A wizard without a beard isn't a wizard

paintomphan.bsky.social•2 days ago

If your wizard doesn't look like a wizard, they might be a warlock pulling a fast one on you!!!

rupertdawiz.bsky.social•2 days ago

The hat both gives me my powers and also hides my deformed conjoined twin that also gives me powers

realwhitechoko.bsky.social•2 days ago

All I can think of is the Nic Cage Sorcerer's Apprentice, where you HAVE to wear the old man shoes. Leather soles help conduct energy rather than rubber soles that block it.

pearblossomva.bsky.social•2 days ago

Wizard Classic's a good look for a wizard. I've rolled up entirely too many goth girl necromancers to say it's the only wizard for me, but you can't go wrong with a big floppy hat and a starry bathrobe.

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