Hi everyone, The Onion is very briefly very on sale. It's 25% off, $75 for a year's worth of issues right to your door. The paper is really good and the money will help us do a bunch of big, stupid shit we have planned in the near future. Subscribe! membership.theonion.com?campaign=701... - ThreadSky

bencollins.bsky.social • 1 day ago

Hi everyone, The Onion is very briefly very on sale. It's 25% off, $75 for a year's worth of issues right to your door.

The paper is really good and the money will help us do a bunch of big, stupid shit we have planned in the near future. Subscribe!

https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001pjeJZAAY

Comments

bluecollarman22.bsky.social•1 day ago

The Onion was funny until it became real news.

mikewen.bsky.social•1 day ago

Can you send me a cd-rom every week for a year?

megsyperk.bsky.social•1 day ago

Done. It’s been in the back of my mind to join and the sale put me over the top. Can’t wait my first issue!

feemus.bsky.social•1 day ago

The little shallots and the big boy leeks

pidxr.bsky.social•1 day ago

I always thought this was a joke.

waxpraxis.org•1 day ago

DAMMIT I’M IN! And you know what?! Just the giggles I got out of your checkout process made it worth it. The rest of the year is gonna be nothing but pure comedy PROFIT! (I’m assuming that’s how humor-based currency works…)

briankapusta.bsky.social•1 day ago

Hey even if you need paper just to light your fire pit, wood stove or fire place that’s a great deal. You won’t be disappointed.

okayfella.cool•1 day ago

You just bought the doggone website and you're already trying to sell it? Come on man, stick with it

drlendall.bsky.social•1 day ago

Oh I feel it. It makes me sick.

jambojeremy.bsky.social•1 day ago

Yes sir Tim Onion sir!

prog.bsky.social•1 day ago

That's very a-peeling

zerocrossing.bsky.social•1 day ago

How does that work? Does someone come to your house with a laptop and you just read a webpage or something and then hand the laptop back? Seems inefficient.

patrickcraig.bsky.social•1 day ago

Better call DOGE.

feemus.bsky.social•1 day ago

Of course not. This is a full-service subscription. They read it to you. You don’t even have to lay hands on the laptop.

zerocrossing.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wow, that’s a bargain, then.

feemus.bsky.social•1 day ago

Cheap at half the price!

freedom2b.bsky.social•1 day ago

Onion's BlueSky account has blocked me. I miss the wholesomeness. 😢

priyachand.bsky.social•1 day ago

Has anyone upgraded their existing membership? I am old and don't know how to computer anymore 🥺

korgel.bsky.social•1 day ago

On a scale of 1 to Catturd2's twitter feed, just HOW stupid are your plans?

patrickcraig.bsky.social•1 day ago

Tesla Trucks for all the staff.

bertil.bsky.social•1 day ago

So getting in a fight with OSHA?

mrknottea.bsky.social•1 day ago

Fire extinguishers not included.

davisionz.klero.com•1 day ago

Box of baking soda in the glove box for chemical fires?

santacruzmag.bsky.social•1 day ago

I'm in! Just signed up for a year. Hoping some of "big, stupid shit" involves the monster who harrasses children and grieving families. Thanks for all you do and for your humor. You rule, Tim.

blubeckett.bsky.social•1 day ago

I would so subscribe with money if you were 🇨🇦 💪

joshtpm.bsky.social•1 day ago

thought you meant you were flipping it

bencollins.bsky.social•1 day ago

Oh that's gonna cost at least $76.

taniagalloni.bsky.social•1 day ago

I’m saving that type of money for eggs.

joshtpm.bsky.social•1 day ago

i was going to say, it's in our price range

drewcurtis.bsky.social•1 day ago

Can I flip my subscription?

waynefryback.bsky.social•1 day ago

Yeah but how is the school district there?

andrewfeeney.au•1 day ago

Best I can do is $75.50

shawn.medero.net•1 day ago

I dunno about it at that price, i was only in it for the warehouse of brain force ultra supplements

mandelbrot2.bsky.social•1 day ago

lol

mwmcgonagle.bsky.social•1 day ago

Me too

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

The Onion likes trump too much

bencollins.bsky.social•1 day ago

Famously.

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

VERY famously

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

Don’t see any The Onion headlines saying trump is a murderer, I wonder why?

Probably the same reason all the tent protests disappeared on college campuses!

thembo.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wow that's a really dumb couple of things to say.

bencollins.bsky.social•1 day ago

Try not to wade in on this shit, but it's frankly flattering you think we never said Trump is a murderer. In the Onion canon he is constantly personally murdering people!

bencollins.bsky.social•1 day ago

It won't let me post images right now so here are links:

https://theonion.com/we-need-to-take-trumps-rhetoric-seriously-but-not-literally-vs-have-that-guy-killed/

https://theonion.com/trump-held-in-contempt-of-court-after-stabbing-michael-1851429453/

https://theonion.com/what-trump-meant-by-there-would-be-a-bloodbath-if-he-1851346115/

https://theonion.com/new-trump-ad-shows-montage-of-people-he-ll-kill-if-elec-1851573199/

https://theonion.com/bored-trump-spends-afternoon-stabbing-secret-service-ag-1845327597/

https://theonion.com/trump-administration-urges-saudis-to-stick-to-killing-r-1829713565/

https://theonion.com/trump-fascinated-by-israeli-cultural-tradition-of-mass-1826014445/

kbenjaminstone.bsky.social•1 day ago

I try not wade into it either, Ben, but your publication owes Tim Duncan an apology.

This is an article from 2021. What, the man can’t retire in peace without these hit jobs? Shameless.

korgx3.bsky.social•1 day ago

If you need validation, there are a variety of TV shows with talking names that will tell you what you want to hear. Newspapers have meaningless games that become your last thread of contact with your parents. It's very gratifying.

chumbillups.bsky.social•1 day ago

It's a satire magazine, they don't print the truth you fucking idiot.

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

I’m talking about their editorial decisions to support trump and bash democrats.

The Onion is probably told to do it by their billionaire owners.

hootboots.bsky.social•1 day ago

The tent protests disappeared because colleges cleared them violently and universities threatened everyone with expulsion, and then the trump admin threatened everyone who participated with terrorism charges and/or deportation

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

That’s funnier then anything the onion has wrote in a while!

hootboots.bsky.social•1 day ago

Like come on homie

aestro.bsky.social•1 day ago

Guys this is bluesky and the irritating reply guy can be blocked out of existence.

Not me the other guy.

cercies.bsky.social•1 day ago

Are you sure, seems suspicious

aestro.bsky.social•1 day ago

This could be mastodon I'm losing track at this point.

jetsamnflotsam.bsky.social•1 day ago

Are you sure this isn't a trick?

aestro.bsky.social•1 day ago

No but I blocked the idiot anyway.

aestro.bsky.social•1 day ago

Again, not me, the other idiot.

mattlav83.bsky.social•1 day ago

this kind of person,

who believes all "mocking or critical of a Democrat" things, are implicitly and automatically "pro Trump things"...

is the bane of the internet in general, and BlueSky in particular.

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

The Onion’s support of trump is probably by the direction of it’s billionaire owners.

mattlav83.bsky.social•1 day ago

As most people have tried to explain to you, they do not support Trump, they have in fact constantly attacked him in their articles for years and years and years.

Their perspective is a pretty standard leftwing comedy one.

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

I know that they support trump, they throw fluff at him while claiming Joe Biden is a mass murderer

mattlav83.bsky.social•1 day ago

They do occasionally ALSO attack Democrats, mostly for being weak and feckless in dealing with him and other Republicans, or doing immoral things that someone like Trump might do, such as Biden's unlimited support for the war in Gaza.

grey.tertiusfamily.net•1 day ago

What are you smoking? Must be some hella psychoactive shit if you live in a timeline where The Onion likes Trump... at all.

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

the editorial slant from The Onion went decisively anti-democrats starting in 2016 when Bernie Sanders lost the democratic nomination for president.

It’s been that way ever since. That and looking the other way on trump.

patrickcraig.bsky.social•1 day ago

Take your damn ❤️

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

Funnier then anything posted on the onion in 10 years:

stannislaw.bsky.social•1 day ago

This Machine Produces Malarkey

Shut up bot ass, fight me at a home depot.

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

https://bsky.app/profile/lavendesic.bsky.social/post/3lkwfhs6eps2i

stannislaw.bsky.social•1 day ago

Biden is a mass murderer.

Fucking stupid ass.

Beep Boop back home.

lavendesic.bsky.social•1 day ago

You should work for the onion, you are funnier then the current writers

stannislaw.bsky.social•1 day ago

You you make like your username and spare us.

winterpancake.bsky.social•1 day ago

Maybe Biden shouldn't have murdered all those kids then

winterpancake.bsky.social•1 day ago

Fuckaas bitch

stannislaw.bsky.social•1 day ago

Its too bad, its 100% obvious this is some troll.

I would love a fuckass beat down.

winterpancake.bsky.social•1 day ago

It's interesting they'd rather kill malarkey than fascists

taterpie.bsky.social•1 day ago

Woohoo, dunzo. thanks!

actuallymossman.bsky.social•1 day ago

Onion slogan should be America’s Only Real News

guidoasanchez.bsky.social•1 day ago

😱

howlin.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wow I feel cool.

reggiewallinsky.bsky.social•1 day ago

That is Hilarious!

eoinlefada.bsky.social•1 day ago

Can I request an option to subscribe for a year at $75-$100 Canadian dollars?

$75 USD is currently $108 CAD and… that’s kind of on you guys (Americans, not all of the little shallots who do great work at The Onion).

Just tie it to the subscriber’s credit card or delivery address.

jasonandrade.bsky.social•1 day ago

Has The Onion ever partnered with someone internationally to also offer print editions in other countries?

timb07.bsky.social•1 day ago

From https://membership.theonion.com:

“We ship internationally.”

hnimntwo.bsky.social•1 day ago

I smelled a return of multimedia content on the onion grapevine. Is this true?

309baseball.bsky.social•1 day ago

This is one of the best possible uses of American currency. I haven't had a physical copy in many many years but am looking forward to it.

sarahdptearth.bsky.social•1 day ago

I thought this was a joke about you all discounting it to sell The Onion to one of the faces in the republican administration of the USA. I'm glad it has nothing to do with that!

albizu.com•1 day ago

I get mine shipped all the way in Spain and I giggle like an idiot every time I see it in my mailbox.

self-potato.bsky.social•1 day ago

timsugrue.bsky.social•1 day ago

Is it run for office lol

liwenzao.bsky.social•1 day ago

Your name is Tim Onion? Or is it like Tim Apple?

janiczek.cz•1 day ago

Hey Tim, I'm subscribing from Czech Republic but the issues aren't arriving. Am I stupid for holding onto hope

maybelle2.bsky.social•21 hours ago

Done!

djkahn.bsky.social•1 day ago

Long overdue but DONE.

debrreed.bsky.social•17 hours ago

And smell the news with The Onion. #OnTheNose

patrickcraig.bsky.social•1 day ago

Is this real or just another funny Onion post? I mean, I support big, stupid shit, hell I am a big, stupid shit. In today's world, it's hard to tell what is real and what is made up.

eoinlefada.bsky.social•1 day ago

It’s both. You can always trust The Onion.

jetsamnflotsam.bsky.social•1 day ago

Wait , you are the onion? The holy magican turns satire into reality?

jakedotworld.bsky.social•1 day ago

Oh shit I'm totally going to buy The Onion right out from under that dude who bought it last year. Oh man his face is gonna be priceless. Anyone want to jump in on the financing with me.

respiewak.bsky.social•1 day ago

Fine, take my money (so that I can give my dad a very belated birthday present)

averyofbirds.bsky.social•1 day ago

You know you could use this money to have Alex Jones killed, then just never report on it. Literally the perfect crime, how will anyone know you did it?

heyitsdaniel.bsky.social•1 day ago

does the print edition have exclusive articles?

45adapter.bsky.social•1 day ago

I can confirm that there is a good chunk of content (ads, sidebar pieces, and a big spread in each issue) that is exclusive, as far as I can tell

heyitsdaniel.bsky.social•1 day ago

thanks!

auntiegg.bsky.social•1 day ago

Will subscriptions help you buy Infowars?

janeysays.bsky.social•1 day ago

I'm so tempted. Do they deliver to the UK?

snowdaylearninglab.org•1 day ago

In honor of my employer shitting the bed today, and the alcohol I’ve consumed to inscribe on my liver this moment, I am in.

mrknottea.bsky.social•1 day ago

Save money on Onions to offset the price of eggs. A year's supply for only $75

nickcyclingchemist.bsky.social•1 day ago

They’re peeling back the price! 😂😂😂

willow.sh•1 day ago

🫡

ianholmes.org•1 day ago

This finally got me to subscribe, thank you. I look forward - hopefully - to the kind of in-depth discussion of the Onion Router protocol I’ve been looking for since the early Cypherpunk days https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onion_routing

javl.bsky.social•1 day ago

I bought one for my sister, since I get it already, but don't see a Gift option. Did I miss something? Thanks for the laughs. My family gets stupid excited when the big white envelope from Global Tetrahedron arrives. I have to say, we like it so much, I've subscribed to actual magazines again

jdizzle81.bsky.social•1 day ago

Done

jaxsun72.bsky.social•1 day ago

Do you bitches mail to Puerto Rico?

nutritionistfoo.bsky.social•1 day ago

You got me. I have such fond memories of picking up a free copy in the student center in the late 90’s/early aughts and I still have a clipping of a favorite article in the bottom of a drawer. It’s something I want to make sure sticks around.

nicosen.bsky.social•1 day ago

Done.

dyony-sus.bsky.social•1 day ago

ok I subscribed but I am expecting very big very stupid shit now

stevenevets.bsky.social•1 day ago

Done!

jcuish.bsky.social•1 day ago

The Finest News ground down to the smoothest polishing powder to buff the biggest turds.

michaelatdisney.bsky.social•1 day ago

I signed up and every bit of fine print on every page was a true delight to read.

jb-goodbody.bsky.social•1 day ago

Tim(Ben).
My very smart and very kind son bought me a subscription just this last Christmas. Can I guilt him into buying an extension for this upcoming holiday and get the discount or will I begin to get 2x envelopes each month for the next 8 months?

isaaccp.bsky.social•1 day ago

Subscribed!

fuck-dt.bsky.social•20 hours ago

Raw onions smell really bad...

davisionz.klero.com•1 day ago

When Elon gets Twitter Repo'd, try to buy that from the banks, too 😎

bestillandknow.bsky.social•1 day ago

I literally bought a full price subscription yesterday. Come on! 😡

jaymarose.bsky.social•1 day ago

Done.

andrewrockwell.bsky.social•1 day ago

Elon eyeballing the 25% off sale. 😁

freeagent.bsky.social•1 day ago

I'd buy the monthly plan but Canada is going to place a tariff on American vegetables.

cybrogtribe.bsky.social•1 day ago

I signed up!

My dad had years of National Geographic issues stored away when I was growing up. I remember going through them at like 13 and seeing how amazing the 🌎 was.

I hope in 8 years my son goes through a collection (bushel?) of Onions to see how ridiculous it is too.

nicholasabrown.bsky.social•1 day ago

I would love to work for The Onion! Reach out if you ever are looking for anyone !

pennica.bsky.social•1 day ago

Done! Subscribing to all the things that bring me joy in these shit times.

supersloth.net•1 day ago

definitely counting on USPS lighting it on fire but congrats on getting the money anyway.

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