One of my favorite Bible quotes is "Jesus, that's a lot of mayonnaise." - ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

allhailjerry.bsky.social • 4 days ago

One of my favorite Bible quotes is "Jesus, that's a lot of mayonnaise."

Comments

o-ouroborus-o.bsky.social•4 days ago

So many Miracle Whip jokes, so little time

eelaware.bsky.social•4 days ago

"The Son of Man requires a well-loaded hoagie, PETER"

infinitesexy.bsky.social•4 days ago

THE LORD LIKES IT WET

siberiantigger.bsky.social•4 days ago

"Hot jumpin' Jehosephat, that's too much mayo in the Kardashian fridge!"

-Clickhole, paraphrased

hoseycow.bsky.social•4 days ago

Mary told Jesus to hold the mayo.

francisgasparini.bsky.social•4 days ago

Mary, whispering: They’re out of mayonnaise at this wedding feast

Jesus: say no more, Ma

dootieface.bsky.social•4 days ago

Adding context, the next line is, “we’re out of lube”

borntoeatbacon.com•4 days ago

I was always partial to "And the deciples said unto Jesus 'Can't we have white wine once in a while?'"

jons253.bsky.social•4 days ago

And the LORD broke the bread and passed it to his disciples, saying, "This is My body."
And He poured forth the wine into their cups, saying, "This is My blood."
And He opened the mayonnaise, and Judas said, "Gonna stop you right there, Lord."

uhjustin.bsky.social•4 days ago

You don’t want to know what he used to turn into that mayonnaise

homonovae.bsky.social•4 days ago

It was to cover up the taste of his body washed down with his blood.
Boy, Christians are macabre including worshiping the cross he was crucified on.

richardny.bsky.social•3 days ago

Saint Helmann's

yellslikegoats.bsky.social•4 days ago

The king of kings; the Duke’s of peace.

imaybenuts.bsky.social•4 days ago

I seriously needed that! Thanks. Keep in mind, few things make me laugh--that did.

electricchimp.bsky.social•4 days ago

You'd think he'd like mustard, but no

allhailjerry.bsky.social•4 days ago

Maybe my AI-translated bible didn't get everything right?

crownvic63.bsky.social•4 days ago

If it was Duke’s mayonnaise is was right.

redletrcrusader.bsky.social•4 days ago

No, this one's real. It's in the part about the Last Lunch. (Last Supper is better known.) Gospel of James

electricchimp.bsky.social•4 days ago

I'd guess so - that's what messed up the other translations

thegodofcities.bsky.social•4 days ago

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jefflyons.bsky.social•4 days ago

you're gonna go to Hellmann's for that

swirlosquirrel.bsky.social•4 days ago

And with a wave of his gentle hand, mayonnaise became hollandaise, and thus, there was Brunch.