Profile avatar
aaronkauffman.bsky.social
1 posts 56 followers 72 following
Regular Contributor
Posts 18 Comments 1

try to be there if you can

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

Millennials are a goldilocks generation raised in the narrow window between leaded gasoline and social media and hooooo boy is that showing these days

submitted 15 days ago • 90 comments

rfk jr. coughing up a whole flattened armadillo with tire tread marks on it and suddenly talking normal

submitted 17 days ago • 10 comments

People frantically googling “egg replacement” and finding themselves in the Architect room from The Matrix Reloaded with their one vegan friend who has 20 food allergies holding bowl of Chia seed.

submitted 33 days ago • 107 comments

Sometimes I'll just make thumbnail graphics for YouTube videos that don't exist.

submitted 39 days ago • 343 comments

submitted 40 days ago • 84 comments

(GIANT KAIJU EMERGES IN THE ATLANTIC OCEAN) ugh can we not? sorta got a lot going on rn

submitted 41 days ago • 315 comments

Acting nice to chatgpt in advance because it's going to decide whether I get social security

submitted 42 days ago • 44 comments

enough is enough. democratic leadership in congress needs to act now and text me saying they need five to ten dollars

submitted 44 days ago • 98 comments

i'm tired of being told to stop doomscrolling. i'm just scrolling, it's not my fault there's doom on there

submitted 47 days ago • 270 comments

Sorry, America. We can feed the elderly with Meals on Wheels or we can let billionaires cheat on their taxes. We can't do both.

submitted 48 days ago • 46 comments

I think a decade or so from now "too much screentime can make you think society is collapsing" will be so commonly known that we'll have a name for it and it will be as universally understood as "too much sun can give you a sunburn"

submitted 49 days ago • 36 comments

Ugh FINE I'll show up to work "sober" to lead the department of defense. YES without "sexually assaulting" everyone, christ anything else?

submitted 103 days ago • 475 comments

i stride into the grocery store with two guns, blood from the razor sewn into the waistband of my pants drips down my ass while blood from the razor blade in the tongue of my shoe soaks the escape map that shows me how to get back to my house two miles away. i have forgotten my wallet.

submitted 55 days ago • 415 comments

as much as i love rice, i HATE cooking it. throw a grain into a pot of boiling water, wait, fish it out. throw in another, wait, fish it out. i’m still cooking friday night’s fucking dinner. sorry for the language but i am so over this

submitted 56 days ago • 146 comments

Raw milk is one of those ideas that can really only take hold when people haven't seen a cow. if you see a cow from let's say ten feet or less you immediately understand the problem that pasteurization is solving

submitted 88 days ago • 353 comments

the college football playoff selection show is so good. it's like if the news began with 25 minutes of anchors talking to each other like "i'm looking forward to reporting the news. it will be very interesting to find out what the news will be"

submitted 100 days ago • 32 comments

Imagine if woke gen Z fought the first world war lol. They would be all like where's my safe space, and please respect my pronouns and give me trigger warnings, instead of killing each other on behalf of some incestuous monarchs like real men

submitted 108 days ago • 38 comments