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alcamaggiore.bsky.social
Here for early access memes.
23 posts 115 followers 820 following
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Posts 44 Comments 2

a skeet so bad, it lowered your credit score

submitted 3 days ago • 7 comments

Stacy, your mother and I are in love

submitted 2 days ago • 9 comments

One day, it happens. Doughnut holes taste much too sweet. Savor what you love.

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

one can eventually tire of simply crossing the road

submitted 6 days ago • 25 comments

Goddammit I think I just heard the Jumanji drums.

submitted 6 days ago • 32 comments

Welcome to the Bluesky account for Stand Up for Science 2025! Keep an eye on this space for updates, event information, and ways to get involved. We can't wait to see everyone #standupforscience2025 on March 7th, both in DC and locations nationwide! #scienceforall #sciencenotsilence

submitted 27 days ago • 300 comments

“Here comes the sun.” - George Harrison, amateur astronomer

submitted 8 days ago • 11 comments

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

If the gas pump says to see attendant I won't. I would rather ride a horse.

submitted 8 days ago • 5 comments

You can just give someone a Klondike bar. It doesn't have to be a weird power trip.

submitted 11 days ago • 12 comments

On my third hour of food preparation videos while I pour myself another bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments

disappointing to learn toyota made more than one highlander

submitted 11 days ago • 19 comments

the worst part of waking up is the buffering

submitted 11 days ago • 8 comments

Inside our wolf exhibit are two wolves. We are missing one wolf.

submitted 11 days ago • 8 comments

Tfw u are level 3 in ffxiv and you haven’t unlocked glams yet

submitted 12 days ago • 12 comments

Reminder to everyone who signed up for our bird walk, it’s just a regular hike around the park, but you’re expected to walk like a bird.

submitted 13 days ago • 12 comments

“K-911. What’s your emergency?” “THERE’S A SQUIRREL!” “Please calm down, sir. Where is it?” “IN THE TREE ACROSS THE STREET!” “Have you tried barking at it?” “OF COURSE!! I’M NOT AN IDIOT!!!” “Okay, put down the phone and try again now, I’ll stay on the line.”

submitted 12 days ago • 11 comments

Pronounces “legume” like “résumé”

submitted 13 days ago • 9 comments

if ur not supposed to put ur phone in the toaster they shouldn’t make it fit

submitted 13 days ago • 9 comments

Slack is down! Now's our chance. Boot up AOL Instant Messenger and tell everyone this is the new chat. Come on people we've been training for this

submitted 13 days ago • 122 comments

i find provolone to be a really underrated cheese. telemarketer: sir I really have to go

submitted 14 days ago • 57 comments

yet another spinoff

submitted 14 days ago • 13 comments

Marine biologists studying orca vocalizations have recorded what they swear sounds just like “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.”

submitted 15 days ago • 11 comments

adulthood means finding out that every single one of your childhood fears was totally valid

submitted 15 days ago • 23 comments

Stark Tower Google Reviews ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "We miss you Tony 🥺🥺🥺" ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Really appreciate the Clean Energy Initiative!" ⭐☆☆☆☆ "QUIT BLOWING UP THE G*****N BODEGA ON E. 5TH YOU CLOWNS"

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Crows can recognize people many years later, even if they are wearing a disguise. However, science cannot explain why the crows would wear a disguise.

submitted 16 days ago • 9 comments

Alexa, get me to the church on time.

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

YOUNG MAN, there's no need to feel down i said YOUNG MAN, pagliacci the clown you can SEE HIM he is playing in town you should go and have a good time

submitted 16 days ago • 71 comments

waiter: wine? date: no, I don't drink waiter: water? me: she said she doesn't drink, pal

submitted 18 days ago • 11 comments

some men just want to watch the world lightly brown under an even heat

submitted 18 days ago • 4 comments

"I am absolutely NOT going to launch myself at your ankles as you walk down this darkened stairwell, and frankly I am offended that you would even entertain such a thought."

submitted 18 days ago • 24 comments

My daughter and her friends made this “Remy cake.” And having seen it, I must now walk into the sea.

submitted 18 days ago • 521 comments

I think I know this Lord Huron song, gimme the album date?

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

A tiny mouse bar during the Prohibition era, call that a squeakeasy send post

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

If it's called a sleeve of crackers, I just ate a sweater.

submitted 20 days ago • 8 comments

Humble Software Bundle: Fallout RPG - The Complete Collection https://buff.ly/3Xafaq2 #ad

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments

grammar was more important in the days of you’re

submitted 19 days ago • 30 comments

The job market has never been better for shills, stooges, and toadies of all stripes. Linkedin absolutely buzzing if you're a sycophant, a flunky, or even an unctuous little worm

submitted 19 days ago • 222 comments

Are news anchors secretly insulting you? Moron this story at 11

submitted 20 days ago • 1 comment

Couldn't remember the name 'komodo dragon' earlier so I called it a biguana.

submitted 20 days ago • 16 comments

submitted 20 days ago • 3 comments

A kid just got me to say Squidward backwards and it won't be the last time I am outsmarted by a 9 year old today.

submitted 21 days ago • 9 comments

submitted 21 days ago • 200 comments

Good morning gang, let's fulfill this prophecy

submitted 20 days ago • 16 comments