alexgaskin.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

[Archaeologists in the year 4000] “A 21st century pan! You know their cancer rates soared because they wanted food to not stick to cookware even without the aid of oil and butter.” “Wow, they must have really hated the taste of oil and butter.” “Well that’s the funny thing…”

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Our sick society cries out for the powerful corrective that is Mort Crim’s Chump Of The Week

submitted 3 days ago • 17 comments

Had a dog go ballistic at the sight of me and then immediately act normal at the sight of a mailman. Possibly the most insulted I have ever been.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Sadly with reforms like these, it's too late for the people who needed it.

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

Went in on a sports event that happened weeks ago. But here’s the thing: I haven’t let go of my anger over the Luka trade and neither should you. open.substack.com/pub/ruptured...

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

What a pass! You’d have to be crazy to trade away talent like that. Doubly so if, say, that talent is beloved by your fans. But such a scenario is too unbelievable, I see no reason to entertain it further. [weeps into hands]

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

[guy who doesn’t know the word “disoriented”] My orientation! It’s ruined!

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

[Somehow mishearing “Orwellian” as “Orson Wellesian”] Yes, I also think this is a period of movies, heavy wine consumption, and grandiose trash talk in American history

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

Being a Mavericks fan in LA right now (YES I am still Processing Things)

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t want to become a Lakers fan. Sure I already live here and my favorite player just got traded to them, but I have too much class to bandwagon. I mean not that much more, but still, enough.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Luka’s gonna reach new heights as a player just out of spite. In 2028 he’ll score 93 points against the Mavs and people will wonder if he’s injured. I’m gonna be sick.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

I’m gonna have to listen to so many damn fireworks when the former best player on my team takes the team where I live to the championship.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Goddamnit I just got a pair of Luka 3s. It was a small but poignant act of rebellion as a denizen of Los Angeles, a city that refuses to carry any Mavs apparel. I mean it was also because I just really liked the shoes but still.

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Haven’t seen Emilia Perez but based on recent news it seems I’d do well to point out the similar spelling of “Gaskin” and “Gascón” is just a coincidence, there’s no relation that I know of.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Guy at the tire shop said he had an update for the Tesla owner and then looked right at me in an expectant manner and l fear I’m not coming back from this one.

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

Gift link to Kyle MacLachlan's essay on #DavidLynch in the NYT. "It’s why he never wanted to explain his work. He wasn’t trying to be surly or obtuse....It’s just that explaining his art after the fact seemed antithetical to the very point of making it."

submitted 52 days ago • 40 comments

When my job refuses to let me take a day off and watch David Lynch films to celebrate his memory

submitted 55 days ago • 0 comments

The 70s remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers hits even harder when you get 6 goddamn spam calls from soulless automatons imitating human beings as you’re watching it.

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Watching AEW Dynamite. First time in a while I’ve watched a show from any major wrestling company. Is it time to change my bio back to “The Frasier Crane of professional wrestling fans” or is that premature?

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

RIP to Jimmy Carter, who failed to achieve his life’s ambition of becoming the first former president to live to 101

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

Starting season 2 of Squid Game. Is it a bad sign that the second season of a critically lauded show snuck up on me without fanfare? Or is it just another case of Netflix failing its programming?

submitted 74 days ago • 1 comment

The craziest thing about the resolution to this assassination saga? I’ve been craving McDonald’s for days. Not saying it’s related, but…maybe?

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

The best/meanest prank I’ve ever had played on me was at a naturally dive-y bar in Texas that had a jukebox. One of the patrons fired it up and when I heard the opening chords of Werewolves of London, I thought, “Oh no, it’s that terrible Kid Rock song that rips off Warren Zevon!” …

submitted 93 days ago • 1 comment

Trying a couple things right now: 1) making this my main (only?) social media hub 2) Putting more stuff online. Serving both by finally writing on Substack again and sharing it here. Supposedly I can do that without getting clobbered like on other platforms. open.substack.com/pub/ruptured...

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Everything I requested was reasonable and sane.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Visceral disgust at Spotify’s year-end AI podcast offer. Phantoms made of 0s and 1s reciting what they don’t know are words about my recorded data patterns. Somehow as profane as it is boring. A football field of rainforest was burned to feed me candy made of plastic and live hornets.

submitted 98 days ago • 1 comment

I love showering at the gym. I think it rocks when I try to discreetly put on my underwear but my foot’s still a little moist so it sticks to the cotton like a fly against a spiderweb. It’s great to wobble on one foot while my penis and ass are as free as a hippie with a trust fund. Just the best.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Fired up ‘The Maltese Falcon’ as a late but crucial #noirvember watch. Some fun film trivia: Did you know that Humphrey Bogart was basically the coolest a dude could ever be?

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

Generative ai has some uses but it's like if bicycles gave off more emissions than an airplane and also required you to steal the wheels from other people's vehicles

submitted 110 days ago • 22 comments

Finally reached the point in the Drew Carey Show where they use the “Cleveland Rocks” opening

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

Hearing some really good classic rock 👍🏻 while being beaten up by a bunch of sweaty Italian gangsters 👎🏻 and realizing you’re in a film by Mr. Martin Scorsese 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

Just finished Heretic. Lots to say, but my first and strongest takeaway is if you lie to me about there being blueberry pie, you will meet God.

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

At an arcade for a family birthday party. 1 like and I’ll introduce my four-year nephew to the Mortal Kombat franchise.

submitted 116 days ago • 1 comment

Maybe it’s the disillusionment that of middle age but it’s staggering to see how far the hype around AI is from its actual capability. It’s like watching people gather around a miracle worker, but then you see it’s just a guy hammering nails into non-vital body parts and saying “ta-da” each time.

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

Is there an ETA for when the new world will be born? Feels like we’re always in the time of monsters.

submitted 126 days ago • 0 comments

Lot of understandable pessimism right now but if it’s any consolation, there’s no way Trump has the work ethic to hand a pardon out to EVERY person who took part in the insurrection.

submitted 126 days ago • 0 comments

Exciting lunch plans today, I’m finally watching The Exorcist PLUS I’m testing a new recipe for extra chunky pea soup.

submitted 135 days ago • 0 comments

Still unsure what to do with Bluesky, forever resentful of how much of my time social media eats. So what the heck, why not share a Letterboxd review to see what happens. boxd.it/7Cwxmh

submitted 141 days ago • 0 comments

“Your father did this to him, Danny. He’s not a well man. Use the Shining to protect your mother and yourself. And speaking of the Shining, why don’t you shine a little light on why you chose to wear that sweater! Do-ho ho ho ho!”

submitted 143 days ago • 0 comments

Trying to destroy the vibe I give off that makes Uber drivers play country music for me while trying to cultivate a vibe that makes them play the Temple of the Dog classic ‘Hunger Strike’ instead.

submitted 143 days ago • 0 comments