areseophrodite.bsky.social
Hellooo, Ares here!! This acc is dedicated for my studying progress, book reviews, and movie talk too!
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And we also could see through his dream about his childhood. Where everyone torturing the poor little horse and he wanted to protect it and when the horse was killed, he almost attacked the lady (?) But his father stopped him.
Interesting.
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—like how he has this sense to protect this young girl that intoxicated and assaulted by vile man! Or how he didn't want his sister to marry with Mr. Luzhin because he knows his sister know that what could her life be when she married Mr. Luzhin but she might thought it would be okay, for his sake!
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Chapter 5: So far what I could comprehend from this book are Rodya is a smart student but he didn't have a friend (he distance himself from his folks) and they perceived him as someone arrogant that probably looked down at them from being less intelligent than him.
He also has how own judgement—
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Chapter 4: At first I regard Rodya as a loser who is just being a burden and suffered his family. But gahh,, I don't blame him now if he does want to take the violence way.
These vile men! Who had degraded brain that deserved 200 shots on their head.
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-to buy drink.
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-state. He has his daughter—Sonya—sold herself to help her family which may affected her father—Zakharych—in some way. Sonya is his daughter that he's proud of, he loves her. That's why it's hurt his feeling that she didn't hit or do anything violent when he come up to her and asked her for money-
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But I ever thought to myself also, "Why does the Party never abolished this place as it could be a threat for the Party itself.”
But then the story began to kind of explain to me the Party never care of the Proles since they don't have the capability of thinking.
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I always thought Mr.Charrington could be some kind of hope to Winston as he collected many interesting stuff for Winston to developed, diary, the glass, and even renting the room.
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Spoiler
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From your expectations or from something you thought their expectations which actually your expectations as well.
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Salwa, Diva, or can't achieved something remarkable as getting accepted to police academy like Regita, or can't write something beautiful like Kak Syahna, doesn't mean you are less than you are.
You don't need to be genius to live. Sometimes you just need to accept and deattached.
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I always thought I'm a genius, I'm smart and I believed everyone think the same. But I know that I'm not and I need to accept that. Just because you can't do basic calculating or can't articulate your thoughts better than Agisna, Kak Olin, or can't go to reputable university like Catherine
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-that also telling me that I'm not, that's why there's constant craving of attention, validation.
Things that I still found hard to not do unconsciously. Whatever I do, speech, action, even thought! I think about how other people would perceived me.
It's the same thing with being a genius
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My mother is good with number, she can count very fast when calculating how much things cost so she won't went over the budge, which I admire from her and sometimes wondering why I didn't possess the same ability.
There's this mindset that keep telling me I'm special but there's also this voice-
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-kind of person who seek for people's validation over what truly I am. Those who bound to people's opinion won't have peace in mind since their purpose of life is to look different in people's mind.
But well, so be it.
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I could understand why it could drive some people mad. Because of how they love the media but people don't really like the media and only pretend to like the media to get certain view of themselves like, "Oh, you have unique taste"
And I don't judge that part but I laughed at it since I was that-
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新年快乐！
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If not, then ask yourself again, if you keep feeling like this does it change anything? Should you really feel like this? Write your reasons.
Andd it will definitely help you feel better becaue surrounding yourself with bad energy just will bring bad damage to your mentality.
Deattached yourself
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Real life application: I used to wish I'm richer which could be considered as something good but it ended up bring my mentality down because I'm not that rich. But after I accepted that I'm not rich and that's not a big deal, I feel better.
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or not, I don't give a damn fuck. You can hate me all you want, at least you are the one who feeling the negatif vibe not me! Haha! Cheers ❤️
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Because in reality, it all just happened in your head. All those thoughts and even if it did happened, what changed? Nothing, they are just bored and decide to talk about many things like you maybe do too.
I still act like decent human being but whether they perceived me as good or bad, asshole
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"-and it's fine since I can be closer to mom."
NO
I was thinking, "I am smart so this is not where I belong to! People going to make fun of me they are going to not believe that I am smart anymore!"
But now that I realised, your life is FUCKED if you focus on what people's think about you.
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I have this mindset that people label me as "innocent", "kind", and "smart". So when I failed to be what I thought they label me for I started to feel like I'm a crap.
Like when I enter university I didn't think of, "Well this is what I can afford since I'm not studying enough to get scholarship"
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This feels lonely but not so lonely, I don't know how to explain it but that's what I feel by watching this movie. 😿😿
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my mom and my cat!