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bantsandrants.bsky.social
I'm Autistic and I was only diagnosed a few years ago. I like puns and love making people smile ☺️
137 posts 61 followers 74 following
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Posts 38 Comments 9

I don't support the antivax stuff, we need these children strong and healthy so they can work in the factories

submitted 4 days ago • 49 comments

I cut my finger cutting cheese. I know it may be a cheesy story but I feel grate now. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 4 days ago • 15 comments

A dad washes his car with his son. But after a while, the son says, "why can't you just use a sponge?" #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...the sails are going through the roof #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

imagine having the kind of energy it takes to do things

submitted 9 days ago • 34 comments

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

submitted 11 days ago • 52 comments

I ordered the book “How to Scam People” over six months ago and it still hasn’t arrived…

submitted 12 days ago • 93 comments

submitted 12 days ago • 28 comments

Welcome to your 40s You now require a 2 minute readjustment period after rubbing your eyes.

submitted 12 days ago • 8 comments

They're saying "Here comes the airplane" when you can see plain as day that it's a spoon. They're playing you for a fool. They're laughing at you

submitted 13 days ago • 81 comments

I hope that hibernation is the next major human evolutionary phase.

submitted 12 days ago • 15 comments

submitted 13 days ago • 33 comments

My sea sickness comes in waves. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

A man was found in a pile of chick peas, lemon juice and olive oil. Authorities are ruling it a hummuside.

submitted 14 days ago • 53 comments

I think circles are pointless. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 15 days ago • 28 comments

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

submitted 15 days ago • 174 comments

submitted 23 days ago • 12 comments

submitted 23 days ago • 22 comments

If laziness were an Olympic sport, I would come in 4th just so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

submitted 24 days ago • 61 comments

I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

In the news a courtroom artist was arrested today, I'm not surprised, he always seemed sketchy. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

The best time on a clock is 6:30--hands down. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

So Daffy Duck finished shopping. At the checkout he asked for a carrier bag. The checkout girl said, “Shall I put it on your bill?” Daffy replied, “Don’t be thupid. I could thuffocate.”

submitted 34 days ago • 31 comments

Why do pirates not know the alphabet? They always get stuck at "C". #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Top left thinks he's bottom left 😂

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

Marriage tip: when your wife asks what’s on TV, do not say dust.

submitted 37 days ago • 57 comments

Why don’t I ever win arguments? Because my brain thinks of the perfect comeback 5 hours later. 🤦‍♂️🔥 #ShowerThoughts #TooLateNow

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Me after one workout: Checks for abs in the mirror. 💪😂 #FitnessJourney #ResultsPending

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

When life gives you lemons… Throw them back and demand chocolate! 🍋🍫 #SelfCare #Priorities

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Me: "I’m going to sleep early tonight." Also me at 3 AM: Watching conspiracy theories. 😵‍💫🔍 #NoSleep #DeepDive

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

Shot, poisoned and beaten to death: why leopard killings are soaring in Pakistan

submitted 39 days ago • 19 comments

People are shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician. #jokes #dadjoke #funny

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Why did my wallet break up with me? It couldn’t handle my spending habits! 💸💔 #RetailTherapy #SendHelp

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Why did the TikToker bring a pencil to the party? To draw attention! ✏️🎉 #CloutChaser #Trending

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments