beidouka.bsky.social
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it helps to keep things interesting! you don't have to do the same workout or practice the same song on the guitar, you can change it up to whatever you'd like that day. It also helps to do it without expectation or needing to improve. Just doing it is already a pretty big achievement imo
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me when i need to study
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Mass Effect!
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and so much damage to my self-esteem for not pursuing my interests and becoming good at anything. i'm learning to let these thoughts go and learning to see the fun in things instead. but i find that it's harder to change the way i see myself
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one other thing i've realised after talking to a friend is that i've lost any ability to "just do it". so many interests lost bc i forsee the struggle and feared not being able to recover. so much anxiety from possibly not meeting my own expectations
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i've deliberately avoided any triggering situations and tried to introduce them bit by bit and gauging my own reactions. so far so good, so i remain positive about the future at least and hopefully i'll learn more things from my therapist
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the results of these can vary but i do notice being calmer and having a clearer mind in approaching subjects that cause me much anxiety, like thinking of my career and the overall fear of failure on many aspects of my life. however, i still don't feel ready to face them head on
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exercising is slightly harder to keep up, there's more barriers to go through compared to just picking up a guitar. but i think of how it often affects my mood for the rest of the day and it gets a little easier to convince myself to get up
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one of my favourite things to come out of enforcing these habits into my daily routine is that it lacks the pressure to be good at something right away, especially in playing an instrument. it ironically made me practice more for fun, instead of succumbing to the anxiety of not meeting expectations
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first useful thing i learned is how the body needs a reset, usually by releasing endorphins - which is why exercising is a popular advice to give but it can also be in the form of music, playing instruments, singing etc.