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bellikoff.bsky.social
Writer, singer & guitarist; Swimmer, skier & mountain hiker; Boxing, tennis, football & hockey fan; Sinatra, Steely Dan & Mahler fan
25 posts 2 followers 2 following
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Posts 24 Comments 1

"It’s as if Trump and Musk are intent on staging a natural experiment on whether Republicans can tick off or terrify 69 million Americans at one fell swoop by taking away their sustenance in old age or disability — and still win elections." www.latimes.com/business/sto...

submitted 11 hours ago • 2 comments

"Congressional Republicans were awestruck by their leader’s ability, at the age of 78, to give such a sustained fact-free oration." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

"Striking a menacing tone, Musk threatened to mount lavishly funded primary campaigns against congressional Republicans unless they gave him a standing ovation after every line in his speech." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"For almost an hour, Trump was on the receiving end of blistering attacks from Putin and his vice president, JD Vasilevsky." "Attempting to mend fences, Trump offered to let Putin run his next Cabinet meeting instead of Elon Musk." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"Instead of Windsor Castle, where the state visit was to be held, the lunch between Andrew and Trump will now occur at a Pizza Express restaurant in Woking." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"“Going forward, all government communications must be really short and lack any kind of coherent grammatical structure,” read the executive order, which also mandated that official documents could not contain words that were more than one syllable long. theonion.com/trump-signs-...

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

"Zelenskyy said he was aware that meeting the enemy agent would stir controversy, but added, “It was important to communicate with someone who speaks for Putin.”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

"Musk said he was “totally pumped” to see what Trump can accomplish at DOZE, which stands for the Department Of Zero Efficiency." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

"At press time, Kennedy added that one day measles deaths would be so common that no one would even care if he died from the disease, too." theonion.com/rfk-jr-vows-...

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

“I’m only accepting clients who are willing to put in the work,” he said. “If you think you can speak Canadian just by ending every sentence with ‘eh,’ you’re wasting my time and yours.” open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

"Although Musk will be known informally as King DOUCHE, his official title will be Completely Repulsive Individual Never Genuinely Elected (CRINGE)." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Nickname: This fuckin’ guy Religion: Born-again MAGA Second-In-Command: Whoever hasn’t resigned yet Favorite Borough: Istanbul Price: Recently lowered Turkish Airlines Status: Elite Plus Greatest Achievement: Making Bill de Blasio look good by comparison theonion.com/political-pr...

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

". . Trump . . was struggling to decide whether free jazz, hot jazz, or jazz fusion would make a better theme for the month of July. At press time, reports confirmed Trump had accidentally deployed Herbie Hancock to the border.” theonion.com/trump-unable...

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

". . the data analysis suggests that many members of the AfD’s new audience are probably not voters in Germany’s election Sunday. Instead, user engagement on AfD-related posts during the campaign suggests a surge in English-language followers." www.washingtonpost.com/world/2025/0...

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

"“From torpedoing gun laws to boosting sexual assailants onto the Supreme Court, I have been tireless in my effort to make this land unfit for human habitation,” he said." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

They got forked. "Some urged their colleagues not to accept, pointing out that the “fork” email resembled one that Musk . . sent to employees at Twitter, before he reduced the workforce by 80 percent and refused to pay promised severance." www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2025/...

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

"“We are not going to be held ransom by some birds that are, quite frankly, disgusting,” he said. “This should never be allowed to happen in this country.” Trump vowed retribution against the poultry, calling the birds “far left radical Trump haters.”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

"Those negotiations, however, are proving contentious, as the Russian president is arguing that, having fully owned Trump between 2017 and 2021, he is entitled to a majority stake now." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

"“I’ve tried the Education Department, USAID, the FBI, and still he keeps showing up,” said Trump . . “Even worse, every day JD Vance is still hanging around is one more day I have to spend with Musk.”" theonion.com/trump-unsure...

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

"Musk garnered a lower approval rating than the avian flu, RFK Jr.’s worm, and the asteroid called 2024 YR4, which scientists believe could destroy Earth in 7 years." open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

"Wayne Gretzky prepares to take office on Monday as the first Canadian-born president of the United States since the 2026 annexation and statehood of Canada . . " www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

"“If it spelled ‘Melanie,’ ‘Melanin,’ or ‘Malala,’ then I’d know it from him,” she said." "“It was signed ‘the President,’” she continued. “So I guess it from Elon.”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Trump doesn't know the difference between Neville Chamberlain and Wilt Chamberlain.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

"“For years, the funeral industry has suffered as a result of the Democratic Party’s unabashed anti-death agenda,” the group said in an official statement. “We are confident that Secretary Kennedy will make death great again.”" open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments