benstockman.bsky.social
Wordsmith, author, internet person.
Wordsmithdigital.co.uk
138 posts
211 followers
537 following
Prolific Poster
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Please join us in signing this if youre a creative. And share it if youre not but you appreciate the work we do in bringing you your fave bits of media.
www.aitrainingstatement.org
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Reeeeallly niche joke. Like maybe @andrewkeithwalker.bsky.social and nobody else
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"It looks like you're losing the will to live. Would you like some help with that?"
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We use Gmail in chrome, teach me sensei
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Stretching this logic, On Her Majesty's Secret Service contains a Christmas tree and the word Christmas twice and so definitely also counts.
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Duuuude! Goose tacos is such a good idea 🤤😋
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Are you suggesting that we three are the final girls in your office-based slasher film? The lucky few who survived?!
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Nobody in their right mind should wear a buckle on their head. These people had so little imagination that they left Plymouth and called their new settlement Plymouth FFS. Anyway, bear all this in mind when you next wonder what's gone wrong with America.
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You may wonder... why come here to this Christmassy tatfest? What possible draw could there be in this madness? First, do not underestimate the pull of mulled wine. Second: samples of cheeses and boozes and chili jams and suchlike. But most important of all, this, the psychedelic fudge of dreams:
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Get them the gift they never knew they wanted! A guaranteed way to make your friends houses much classier this Christmas. Who could resist such witty charm?!
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"Mum, I know you wanted books for Christmas but instead I got you this enormous photo of Lily Allen taking a shit."
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Festive cakes! The Christmassiest of all the cakes right here; featuring child in a cage, woman covered with insects and man-eating plant (paging @semadivad.bsky.social on that last one)
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Personally I for one do not feel festive until I've sat in public with a big blue laser in my mouth.
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Here of course we see the true meaning of Christmas on display, for what could be more festive than modular flooring, uPvc windows, Santa's favourite hair removal stall (get waxed in public this Christmas!) or this very festive armoured car?
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Something I have only ever seen in this tat monument: MYSTERY BAGS. What's inside!? Only crossing this man's palm with silver (£10 in new money) will reveal the truth. These contain sweets (I think?) but there are others elsewhere that say simply "Adult", "Man", "woman" or "child". Fear them.
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Sidenote: I strongly urge you to read the ALT text on these - and also, please set your own settings to force you to upload ALT text to images because those googly-eyed reindeer aren't the only ones whose eyes don't work so good. Onwards to more tat!
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The actual Ideal home show is all sustainable and recyclable and solar (and an awful lot of people selling knives and blenders, or things that do the work of knives and blenders). The Christmas ideal home show is, well... the opposite of those worthy things. It is a glorious monument to festive tat.
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I have managed to escape from the world of chintz! Behold, and marvel at its awful festive sheen: