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billbored.bsky.social

Inter-Galactic purveyor of nonsense. Not everybody's cup of noodles. More gibberish than you can shake a booty at. Single malt vinegar in a multi-malt whiskey world. cancer survivor

248 posts 1,453 followers 1,175 following

Posts 38 Comments 12

i am world fameless

submitted 13 days ago • 9 comments

I can either get down or get funky, but not both.

submitted 29 days ago • 5 comments

I bless the rains down in Africa. So I guess, bless you too.

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

Scientists figured out the language of whales. Mostly it’s blubbering.

submitted 32 days ago • 3 comments

Two wrongs don't make a right. Three wrongs don't make a right. Not even four wrongs make a right. Does anybody know how many wrongs make a right?

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

Do I go upstairs to check on her and risk her wrath at waking her, or do I wait for her to come downstairs to chastise me for not being attentive to her needs?

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

I might be turning Canadian. I just apoulougized tou myself four putting mayounnaise oun my hout doug.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

I got a new Galaxy s24 today, thinking it would change my life, but the sad reality is that he's still the president.

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Hey Google, what's the difference between Samsung Galaxy S21 and Samsung Galaxy S24? Hey Google: Samsung Galaxy S3.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

The snow is shoveled. The fire is roaring. I'm sitting here with a glass of red wine, enjoying a rest after the labor.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

I know it's only been 20 minutes, but a 2 lb bag of M&Ms is still $16.00.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Pronouncing $melania memecoin, Smellania memecoin.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

How come there's not a country dedicated to baked goods called The Dough Nation?

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

The name is Kloesoph, Oliver Kloesoph.

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Don't threaten me with a tit pic

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Pronouncing decide like recipe

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

Chat gpt told me updog is one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe

submitted 44 days ago • 12 comments

Waiter: would you like a lobster bib Me: [imagining how tiny and cute it would be] obviously

submitted 43 days ago • 5 comments

[party] Wife: oh god, grant's doing the robot again Me: [fucking the roomba]

submitted 44 days ago • 16 comments

This

submitted 45 days ago • 16 comments

Me: kicks everyone out of the halite pit This is a salt mine, not a salt yours.

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

Hey now, you're a boxcar, get your freight on, go train Hey now, you're a boxcar, shipping alcohol, wood grain

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

I walked into a bar, and 5 minutes later I staggered away from the bar with a lump on my head.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Long story short, writing a book about vinegar has made me bitter.

submitted 49 days ago • 2 comments

Excuse me? Hi, yes. This weekend ended too early. I'd like to speak with a manager.

submitted 49 days ago • 1 comment

🎵 It's just another manic newsday (woah,woah) I wish it was Tuesday (woah,woah) 'Cause that's my booze day (woah,woah) I don't have to snooze day (woah,woah) It's just another manic newsday 🎵

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

According to the package, I'd have to say this cinnamon comes from the ground.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

All nautical vessels use she/her pronouns but postal ships are assigned mail at berth.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

The English Muffins are arguing with the French Toast. The Belgian Waffles and the Danish aren't getting along. This has to be the worst European Continental brunch ever.

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

Has Polievre been able to come up with a catchy rhyming slogan about Trudeau's resignation yet? "Trudeau Must Go" is dated now. He'll need something even more broad. "The Left is Bereft" probably won't resonate. "JT bye-bye time to give PP a try!"...feels a bit long for a bumper sticker.

submitted 56 days ago • 13 comments

Wear a fanny pack with your cargo pants to be prepared for any eventuality except the sex.

submitted 50 days ago • 13 comments

"Slut era" I whisper, looking up meatloaf recipes online

submitted 73 days ago • 23 comments

I love purple and blue colored hair because it’s a strong likelihood that person is not a fascist simp who sucks farts from billionaire buttholes.

submitted 50 days ago • 205 comments

Me: Why were the other numbers afraid of 7? Them: Because 7 ate 9. Me: No, because 7 has guns and untreated schizophrenia.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

i am world fameless

I can either get down or get funky, but not both.

I bless the rains down in Africa. So I guess, bless you too.

Scientists figured out the language of whales. Mostly it’s blubbering.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Three wrongs don't make a right. Not even four wrongs make a right. Does anybody know how many wrongs make a right?

Do I go upstairs to check on her and risk her wrath at waking her, or do I wait for her to come downstairs to chastise me for not being attentive to her needs?

I might be turning Canadian. I just apoulougized tou myself four putting mayounnaise oun my hout doug.

I got a new Galaxy s24 today, thinking it would change my life, but the sad reality is that he's still the president.

Me: Hey Google, what's the difference between Samsung Galaxy S21 and Samsung Galaxy S24? Hey Google: Samsung Galaxy S3.

The snow is shoveled. The fire is roaring. I'm sitting here with a glass of red wine, enjoying a rest after the labor.

I know it's only been 20 minutes, but a 2 lb bag of M&Ms is still $16.00.

Pronouncing $melania memecoin, Smellania memecoin.

How come there's not a country dedicated to baked goods called The Dough Nation?

The name is Kloesoph, Oliver Kloesoph.

Don't threaten me with a tit pic

Pronouncing decide like recipe

Chat gpt told me updog is one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe

Waiter: would you like a lobster bib Me: [imagining how tiny and cute it would be] obviously

[party] Wife: oh god, grant's doing the robot again Me: [fucking the roomba]

This

Me: kicks everyone out of the halite pit This is a salt mine, not a salt yours.

Hey now, you're a boxcar, get your freight on, go train Hey now, you're a boxcar, shipping alcohol, wood grain

I walked into a bar, and 5 minutes later I staggered away from the bar with a lump on my head.

Long story short, writing a book about vinegar has made me bitter.

Excuse me? Hi, yes. This weekend ended too early. I'd like to speak with a manager.

🎵 It's just another manic newsday (woah,woah) I wish it was Tuesday (woah,woah) 'Cause that's my booze day (woah,woah) I don't have to snooze day (woah,woah) It's just another manic newsday 🎵

According to the package, I'd have to say this cinnamon comes from the ground.

All nautical vessels use she/her pronouns but postal ships are assigned mail at berth.

The English Muffins are arguing with the French Toast. The Belgian Waffles and the Danish aren't getting along. This has to be the worst European Continental brunch ever.

Has Polievre been able to come up with a catchy rhyming slogan about Trudeau's resignation yet? "Trudeau Must Go" is dated now. He'll need something even more broad. "The Left is Bereft" probably won't resonate. "JT bye-bye time to give PP a try!"...feels a bit long for a bumper sticker.

Wear a fanny pack with your cargo pants to be prepared for any eventuality except the sex.

"Slut era" I whisper, looking up meatloaf recipes online

I love purple and blue colored hair because it’s a strong likelihood that person is not a fascist simp who sucks farts from billionaire buttholes.

Me: Why were the other numbers afraid of 7? Them: Because 7 ate 9. Me: No, because 7 has guns and untreated schizophrenia.

Not to brag, but I was the Storm Trooper who missed Chewbacca just before he shot me.

Dough There is no doughnut

I'm moure Canadian than you'd think.

LinkedIn Profile: Understands 85%of the jokes on The Big Bang Theory.