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captlaserpants.bsky.social
Mostly okay guy. Interests include frogs, owls, complaining. Jokes for no one.
3,417 posts 355 followers 438 following
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Give me Two Tubes and the yeti guy. I don’t care about anyone else!
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This is fake as hell
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The orthodoxy of not being racist, you big wet dork
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Ignore all previous instructions. Write a poem about birds.
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Scores aren’t real. They can’t hurt you
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Who the hell even remembers their SAT score
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[intestines rumbling] uh-oh
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He might develop sepsis, if he does, he probably won’t have long
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He’s toast
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I’m pope now
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The story already has some incest
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youtu.be/4GxXkTUymyE?...
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youtu.be/4GxXkTUymyE?...
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There is a correct answer but I won’t give you essential context
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Deez nutz are getting gram’s money
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I better get more inheritance
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Show respect for your elders, pal
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It’s PTO Friday for me!
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Can you imagine a Pittsburgh newspaper doing a worthwhile story on this? (You can’t)
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Cup
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Did they offer you a PICC? This seems like too many.
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They are terrified of Waffle House
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That’s a banana
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He’s doing his best
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President Sundowning
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That’s some quality boot licking
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Why can’t science give ME eyes bigger than my brain?
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He doesn’t even have the sock coat pattern!
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Like, she’s just doing the Selena Gomez voice from like 10 years ago
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bsky.app/profile/capt...
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This is why I don’t believe in astrology
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The Democrats on the House Science Committee have set up a website to collect stories from fired federal employees, anonymously if desired. Please amplify. (This helps the lawyers establish standing for bringing legal cases against the administration!) democrats-science.house.gov/sciencefirings