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chaortic.bsky.social
5 posts 32 followers 19 following
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Posts 30 Comments 3

I "replied all" to something I didn't need to today, and an AARP card appeared in my wallet instantly.

submitted 21 days ago • 3 comments

I was looking at a bob olley sculpt of a troll yesterday and it occurred to me a RFK Jr paint job would work…

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Lemme know when the stock market hits 1929! (rimshot) (cow moo) (old-timey car horn) (boooooing! noise) (edge of the sky cracking open to let in spectral ice-spiders)

submitted 48 days ago • 327 comments

Your go to Spring Break tank top. buff.ly/2Du2ZmY

submitted 48 days ago • 3 comments

(Me flirting) Did you know microbes in the human body contribute MORE to the human body’s survival than our bodies themselves? And there are more microbial genes than human in our bodies? We just big ol’ walkin’ terrariums. The sauce: www.nih.gov/news-events/...

submitted 67 days ago • 149 comments

submitted 73 days ago • 854 comments

The show that started it all! Radio updates from a weird desert town that doesn't exist. Or does it? Over a decade in, we are still having a blast writing this show, and our Patreon is what allows us to do it. Find out how to support the show you love here: buff.ly/lagcGRu

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 94 days ago • 177 comments

whoever keeps screaming "oh god fuck me Aquaman" needs to keep it down because my wife is trying to take a bath

submitted 97 days ago • 11 comments

Every kiss begins with Kay. Every death takes place during a Day. Every weird impulse eventually finds a Way.

submitted 101 days ago • 1 comment

Incoming message from the Grammy’s. Lady Gaga wants to know what the fuck you’re doing so close to the Neutral Zone.

submitted 108 days ago • 39 comments

Traffic report: Glowing hieroglyphs emerging through all road signs. Drivers advised to obey whatever ancient traffic laws they represent.

submitted 108 days ago • 1 comment

MORE OF THIS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

submitted 108 days ago • 1024 comments

I think it already is. But seriously. Don’t call them names. We want the door open for them when they realize the mistake they made. We are for a better America. Not a vindictive America

submitted 111 days ago • 5928 comments

submitted 121 days ago • 427 comments

Human Altitude xkcd.com/3039

submitted 124 days ago • 289 comments

sometimes i see weird news from Australia and wonder if i'm reading The Bloomin' Onion

submitted 128 days ago • 8 comments

I don't really use TikTok that much, but I find it fascinating that our government is on the verge of banning an app for national security reasons that are still unclear in the same week that Meta, the largest social media company, says it's now fine to hate LGBTQ people and call us mentally ill.

submitted 132 days ago • 1487 comments

If any of this helps…

submitted 132 days ago • 16 comments

When driving, remember to have your hands on the ten and the two, your left foot on yellow and your right foot on blue.

submitted 132 days ago • 0 comments

@pattonoswalt.bsky.social absolutely crushed @bilheimercap.bsky.social last night, despite the crazy but adorable interruption. #Miami friends, don't miss this show!

submitted 144 days ago • 0 comments

Happy Roof Stranger Night! May you hear the hollow boom of footsteps through your ceiling tonight!

submitted 149 days ago • 4 comments

Credit to @startrekshitposti.ng

submitted 161 days ago • 0 comments

Patton Oswalt and Jordan Blum unpack the Marvel comics that made them cry — or scream

submitted 161 days ago • 2 comments

I love Christmas. It’s the one day I can eat like I’m on death row, surrounded by the people who put me there

submitted 166 days ago • 33 comments

submitted 167 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 168 days ago • 978 comments

Sunday, I tricked some ultra conservative family members (they don't rep the majority of my family) into laughing at @pattonoswalt.bsky.social jokes that I casually slipped into conversation. #progress?

submitted 177 days ago • 0 comments

7500 light-years away from us

submitted 186 days ago • 505 comments

what should you do this weekend? watch watch watch star trek star trek star trek 👇🏼 👇🏼 👇🏼

submitted 188 days ago • 6 comments