coachphil.bsky.social
Globe-trotting dad, writer, and die-hard Arsenal fan (Gooner) on a mission to taste the world one dish at a time. Aspiring chef, devoted foodie, always cooking up new stories and adventures. đźš« No DMs, please!
437 posts
5,323 followers
2,213 following
Prolific Poster
Conversation Starter
comment in response to
post
14/14 In the House painted white,
He remains day by day,
Issuing orders
In curious array.
Yet as far as tall tales
And buffoonery go,
This Grump in the Office
Will always steal the show.
comment in response to
post
13/14 And so is the story
Of this Grump in his seat,
His scribbles and scrawls
Spelling policy defeat.
He stumbled through speeches,
He glowered with glee,
But folks often wished
He’d let logic run free.
comment in response to
post
12/14 Yet each time he tried
To explain what he meant,
He’d flub and he’d trip
On the words that he’d vent.
“Oh dear,” cried his staff,
As they struggled for sense,
While the rest of the country
Grew ever more tense.
comment in response to
post
11/14 He huffed and he puffed
In the Oval so round,
“I’ll sign even more!
So hush, settle down!”
He brandished his marker
And scribbled anew,
“Read my new order—
The best! That is true.”
comment in response to
post
10/14 Out in the wide world,
A hush often fell,
As new lines and laws
Sparked confusion pell-mell.
One day, the great crowd
Looked up with a roar:
“Your orders, dear Grump,
Make sense nevermore!”
comment in response to
post
9/14 The world turned and churned
As his pen danced each day.
Executive orders flew
Every which way.
“They’re bigger and better!”
He’d shriek at the throng.
But those who received them
Saw half of it wrong.
comment in response to
post
8/14 And still, the Grump bragged,
“Everything’s fine!
We’re winning!” he crowed
(At least in his mind).
He’d fumble his notes,
He’d stammer and shout—
None knew if he’d ever
Figure it out.
comment in response to
post
7/14 “I do not trust him near a mic,
I do not trust him on a hike,”
People muttered, quite cross.
“I cannot stand him on TV,
He’s a mess—most would agree.”
They sighed over chaos and loss.
comment in response to
post
6/14 Alas, each new scribble
Brought headaches galore,
Confusion, contortions,
And rallies of yore.
Aides scurried and worried,
They tried to translate,
But the mumbo and jumbo
Arrived far too late.
comment in response to
post
5/14 But no one was sure
What they actually said.
“Did he just ban bananas?”
A reporter once read.
He’d grin and exclaim,
“Bananas? Why not!
This order is golden—
The best one I’ve got!”
comment in response to
post
4/14 He’d bound through the Office,
Round desk and round chair,
Bellowing loudly,
“Just look at my hair!
It’s splendid, fantastic—
And so is my pen.
I’ll sign five more orders,
Then sign them again!”
comment in response to
post
3/14 Yet many who watched
Felt their patience run thin:
“What on earth did he scribble?
What jam did we spin?
For each brand-new decree,
A fiasco would start,
And chaos grew bigger
In each panicked heart.”
comment in response to
post
2/14 He boasted, “I’m greatest!
None else can compare!”
Then brandished his pen
With a pompous grand flair.
From morning to midnight,
His papers he’d sign:
“Executive orders—
They’re simply divine!”
comment in response to
post
You have to appreciate the spectacle of people groveling before the Czar, begging for mercy.
"I voted for you, I support you ruining everyone else's lives—but please, spare mine."