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crashed-blossom.bsky.social
2 posts 28 followers 40 following
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future historians debating whether dow jones, nasdaq, and S&P 500 were three separate gods of ancient America, or just three aspects of the same god

Imagine taking the doodlebug up to see your best gal and your rival shows up in a flying hamburger

“Sewing your own clothes to avoid tariffs” seems like a good idea until you realize it’s very expensive, takes a ton of time, and just about every component — from fabric and thread to sewing machines — are made abroad. I do think this is a great time to learn how to mend clothes, though!

on initial inspection, i think some users of r/pizza are buying cardboard pizza boxes to put their home pizzas into. a baffling subculture if true

LIQUIDATE YOUR RETIREMENT FUND 📉⬇️ PURCHASE EGG 📈🚀🥚💯

based on how often the naughty teens of major cities throw the rentable scooters directly into the river i've formed a theory that the many iron age swords and cauldrons found in lakes around europe that we've previously assumed were ceremonial and sacrificial in nature were in fact thrown by teens

check this shit out motherfucker (i impose tariffs on every country in the world and tank the economy, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do)

sauce is finished. thanks for following

Art by • John Blanche

“American Cartoons don’t show beautifully animated food and slice of life cozy comforts the way Ghibli films do” Oh yeh?? Then explain THIS.

[bluesky timeline] me: [chanting] blogs, blogs- other users: blogs, BLOGS bluesky staff: [pounding their computers] BLOGS, BLOGS, BLOGS!

[starting a metroid game] i like how the nice lady with arms made out of gun has cool clothes and many powerful toys. time to get used to this status quo

constantly thinking about this ominous sticky note drawing i saw in a boba shop

The art of Japanese illustrator Nagaoka Shūsei (1936 – 2015)

i hate the ai perverts because they have made innocent and wholesome phrases like "i love Computer" and tinged them with connotations of Sin

france is ford coca cola

very nearly run over and killed by a frumpy indie babe in a toyota hilux in the parking lot of the ace hardware, narrowly avoiding a fate most of you would pay a thousand dollars or more for

Barista said "enjoy your coffee". I accidentally replied "you too". Then I made a startling goat noise so the first thing would seem less weird by comparison

Here are screenshots of Haley's post. Donation links: www.paypal.com/donate/?host... and donorbox.org/friends-of-b... Venmo: friendsofbear

FedEX: Your shipment is under attack ⚠️

We Used CRISPR To Create A Real Life Mr Bean. You Won’t Believe How Fast He Died Of Sepsis.

a person: are u fucking stupid me:

julius “pizza pizza” caesar

as a gamer ive eliminated thousands of moo deng like creatures for their various parts . Ive completed countless quests using their pain

JIMINY GLICK: Now you, you, you, you—your cars, they tend to run over pedestrians. Or else BURST into flames. ha HA isn't that wonderful! ELON MUSK: *the least convincing laugh of all time* GLICK: *tucking his legs under himself* You bought a website where no one likes you. Why?

As the time to continue doing nothing in your garden approaches...

oh you’re a goalie? the drummer of sports?

just a reminder that the FAA was created in 1958 because planes kept colliding in midair and the public got upset about it!

saw a dog alone going down geary in a waymo car, that is the most fucked up thing i have seen in a minute. big great pyrenees dog, alone in the back seat of a driverless car zipping down the road

The Closing of a Sacred Tab

Thinking of this while playing Monster Hunter

in the time of chimpanzees be a monkey

Nice argument. Unfortunately for you, I have already portrayed myself as the $1.50 gigantic Costco hot dog and you as the $7.49 pathetic Five Guys hot dog

She was right youtu.be/yutsIpLK2Rs?...

this whips

AOL warned us of the dangers of logging on. It would play for us the screams of the damned. But we didn’t listen. We didn’t listen.

incredible find from my morning walk. every recipe in this kind of community cookbook is either a deviously clever family recipe, completely batshit insane, or both

Thinking about when I demoed To a T in December. I turned to Keita Takahashi and said that I love that he's so committed to making oddball games that go off the beaten path and asked what draws him to that philosophy. He looked at me very sadly and said "I was trying to make a normal one this time."

i always thought it would be funny to have a cat that looks serious all the time and just walks around your house looking serious, and now that i have one i can confirm it is absolutely hilarious

Got fired from my sales job at the knick knack shop because I was too upfront with the customers about how the curios would enact ironic punishments on them befitting their character flaws. That and I was stealing printer paper

people say Cask of Amontillado jokes are getting stale, but I have a really fresh take on them, just come over to my family vaults and I’ll show you…

The measles outbreak in Texas is reminding me of the public letter Roald Dahl wrote about losing his daughter to measles in 1962, just before the vaccine was publicly available.

@vgadvisor.bsky.social

Bro you used to be cool like when you were a fetus and had a weird tail and a baby yoshi head

[interrupting whatever you're doing] hey. look at Larz Marzipan