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dtraj.bsky.social
40 stories of sheer adventure
150 posts 14 followers 19 following
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yet another reminder that corporations are not your friends

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

work hack: whenever someone asks you to do something, clear your throat loudly. get louder and louder every time they repeat it. eventually, they'll escort you out.

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

me pulling up in my pontiac trans am GT firebird barracuda to let you know i have limited knowledge about cars

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

we were right about there being a two-state solution. we were wrong in thinking it would include palestine.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

fun facts about australian prime ministers: 1. one went for a swim in the ocean and was never heard of again 2. one got fired by the queen's hired goon 3. one shit himself in the bathroom of a McDonald's 4. one won his election because his name happened to rhyme with 7

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

opened up a fortune cookie and the fortune was simply a drawing of me being killed by a rock through the windshield while driving down the I95

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

if there was some kinda piss shark that could smell piss in the water and they put one of these piss sharks at my local pool i'd be so fucked

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

y'all ever just considered flossing?

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

people don't spit little bullets of chewing tobacco out the side of their mouths when a mysterious stranger walks into the town saloon anymore, because DEI

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

if the oscars were serious about increasing viewership they'd do what tennis does and make all the losers give a speech too

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

society is finally ready to talk about bidets that shoot brawndo instead of water

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

back in the 00s you could have a bunch of lemurs singing "i like to move it" and that's really all you needed to have a hit on your hands

submitted 51 days ago • 0 comments

hey, nervous public speakers picturing everyone naked - i'm in the crowd picturing you naked too. sorry, try something else.

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

i haven't shit your pants all year

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

everyone who says "the best revenge is a life well lived" has not seen the first 95 minutes of Oldboy

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

happy new year to all who celebrate

submitted 63 days ago • 0 comments

me on 31 December: hey guys i haven't taken a dump all year my friends: dude we keep telling you that you have to wait until after midnight to say that me: no i don't please take me to a hospital

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

when you're so close you finish each other

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

the dog in me was sent to live on a farm upstate

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

the internet has ruined genuinely asking for nude photos on behalf of a friend

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

the 'it' in 'cranking it' used to mean 'that Soulja Boy' and that's one of the many reasons the youth have lost their way

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

vagueposting is a lost art

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

one sec, gotta hatewatch linkedin reels for five hours

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

a little relieved Kurt Cobain didn't live long enough to vote for Trump

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

my current mood is sentient clock dual-wielding a pair of scissors and a flintlock pistol

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

mark my words, "carplay reading out an embarrassing text" is going to be a surefire indicator that a comedy show was made in the 2020s

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

here's my pitch: horse, then cart, then another horse. everybody's happy

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

i don't think biological men or biological women should play women's or men's sport or sports of any kind really buy my mixtape

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

myspace pages that played shitty custom music died so that reels of static tweets that play shitty custom music could live

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

it's elmo's world, we're just living in it

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

the only back to the future remake i'll ever watch is one from the pov of the guy at the prom who says "i think he took his wallet" four times back to back

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

i don't mean to big time y'all, but i'm one of the FEW experts chosen by linkedin to answer a question about optimising lead generation

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

yes i would be interested in watching a five hour video essay that provides no new information beyond what's on wikipedia

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

once the edit post feature drops i'm going back and attributing my old shitty posts to Alan Smithee

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments

normalise flagging emails from your supervisor asking you to do your job as phishing scams

submitted 109 days ago • 0 comments