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frightshark.bsky.social
ask me why it's called a hot dog
2,088 posts 223 followers 102 following
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Posts 39 Comments 11

Sparkling milk

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

Someone keeps leaving their embroidered towel that says "I ♥️ JACKING OFF" on my desk at work

submitted 7 hours ago • 0 comments

I'm god's chosen white boy

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

Son Girl and Daughterman

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

I don't see very many worms these days, which I find strange as I'm an earlier bird than I've ever been. Is this possibly because of DEI?

submitted 22 hours ago • 1 comment

Should carbs be Mac and cheese today or chips with buffalo dip instead of celery Saturday (I will be eating the buffalo dip regardless of delivery method)

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

"Sleep in the Heat" by PUP might be the best song ever written about someone's chameleon dying

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

They should add hardcore uncensored penetrative sex scenes to powerwash simulator

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

If you ask me to sign up for a single thing you might as well shoot me four times in the chest at point-blank range

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Under the new rules flight attendants no longer give you sanitizer wipes as passengers board a commercial flight and instead hand out cigarettes

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Thrussell Garbinch

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Currently the lady next to me on the plane is flying back and forth between at least three different books about prayer and the guy in front of me is working on a slideshow about how safe spaces don't exist

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I love when people talk about loving a sentence or whatever from a book so they highlight it and go back and reread those parts sometimes. If you like it so much just remember it dumbass

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Spend $36 today

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

Some people were meant to live in Wisconsin

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Your GrubHub order from PEPPOLIS AUTHENTIC ITALIAN CIGARETTES is on the way and will arrive between 6:12-6:32PM

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Brain Wars III: The Intellect Armada

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I need a mental reset so I think it's time to watch that one video we all have that makes you cry like a fucking lunatic then I'll be okay

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

what should I eat for carb dinner tonight

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Amazon recommended me a little mechanical fidget gun toy and the product images are the funniest thing ever

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

As someone who very recently entered the zero sugar soda world thanks to how badly I've eviscerated my insides over the last 30 years, I can definitively say: zero sugar Pepsi is better than zero sugar Coke. They are both fine though

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I'm at an award dinner and trying to come up with new exciting ways to clap. Too much applause I'm about to try something I call "the inverted Irishman"

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Walked into the hotel bathroom to witness a guy with an absolutely embarrassing stream. Had to step up and produce an absolutely inspirational, porcelain-blasting performance

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Can't we just have mangas y dobstep... por favor...

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

This country needs to go back to simpler times. We need to start generating our wu-tang names again

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Chatty Uber driver but at least she's not an insane person like they usually are

submitted 7 days ago • 1 comment

Roughly wife-shaped

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

fuck and suck your way through the lands between

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Does anybody want to get that Uber bodyguard app with me and just hire dudes to try and kill each other

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

One thing people always forget about me is that my real name is Kelvis

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

It's probably unfounded but I've never trusted the eve 6 guy in my online spaces. It feels one degree removed from steak ums

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

In an exit row seat for this Delta flight, they better be paying me to do this shit at this point

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Rachel Onions

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Saying "I'm going penis mode" to the stranger next to me before putting my headphones on and sleeping for the entire 5 hour flight

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Ballad of the Day Gooner

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

It must suck to have to drive your firetruck back regular style after a fire

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

A thing my work friends have been doing a lot lately is asking me to hang out after I go home. AFTER I go home? You mean after I leave the place I want to be least and go to the place I want to be most? What gives you the right

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I'm not gonna lie to you, job heads. I came in 90 minutes late, didn't do a damn thing, and I'm leaving 15 minutes early

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

The best thing you can do to a paradigm is shift it

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments